IN TODAY'S RUSH WE ALL THINK TOO MUCH, SEEK TOO MUCH, WANT TOO MUCH,
AND FORGET ABOUT THE JOY OF JUST BEING
-ECKHART TOLLE

Haley’s comets
Approaching separating
Matters of fact
Wolfs are howling
A wretched world
That having it’s way with my soul
Looking for someone
To take the keys and drive
Looking for
A purpose outside my wasteland
Too turn the pages forward
For the backstage
Blues to leave my stage
My paper lanterns are
Burning to ashes
Wasting away
In my self absorbed addictions
Inexplicable behaviors
Like a heckler that
Won’t stop talking
Wears me like a
A mask I can’t remove
The demons
In each bottle rattle my cage
After each hit I take
Can’t shake
The stench that permeates
It’s like the acid tears I cry
I see the decaying breath
I breathe counting
Down to the seconds
When the coffin will call
And I will answer
All consuming overwhelming me
Awaiting a revival
For my peaceful recital to start
Dancing in my shadows

Don’t depend  ON Possessions OR Position for YOUR Identity
GET your IDENTITY FROM CHRIST
For you ARE OF INFINITE WORTH TO HIM!!!

Impoverished
Wind chimes
Clacking
Countless endeavors
No longer intruding
Sweet surrender embraces
Me in it’s fold
Thoughts no longer
On a loop
A one track mind cleansed
Let a precise gentle energy
Find me a peaceful
Place to rest my head
A quiet orchard
As stars gaze in the background
Let my weary body recharge
As the clocks
Continuously tick to a different
Frequency
On off switch is fixed
As the hand
That’s been rocking my
Cradle is at ease
Far from physically exhausted
Compliment me in some
Priceless ZEN
The dense
Quiet I’ve been searching
For as my head
Hits the fluffy pillow
Mentally it’s been exhausting
Running a marathon at full sprint
Taken aback by the faint syllables
That sing me lullabies to sleep
And this is just the beginning

Red ambers
White as a ghost
Shrewd feelings aside
I assure you
What I can not
Take with me is not
Of importance
My soul doesn’t
Crave the materialistic
Flaunting possessions
Have they ever positioned
Me for a better seat
At his table
Scope
Of the matter is
There’s a bigger picture at hand
Catch phrases twenty twenty
Non refundable
Suppressed grey areas
In need of renovation
Serendipity
Slowly sprinkled it’s way
Into my psyche
Like rolling tides
Slowly
Hashing me out
Down to the last minute fiber
As the toxins exfoliated
My pendulum swings
At a more even tempo
Guided by a vitality that
Leaves me feeling as
Though when the levee breaks
I’ll be just fine in the end

IT'S BETTER TO LIVE YOUR OWN DESTINY IMPERFECTLY,
THAN TO LIVE AN IMITATION OF SOMEBODY ELSE'S LIFE WITH PERFECTION
-THE BHAGAVAD GITA

Flesh of my flesh
Not of this world
Halo in thee clouds
A remedy
Dawn of a new day
Carry me
Over thee ground
That’s broken
What goes up
Must come down
Everlasting light
The world
Knows no bounds
Forever lost in time
It must have
Been inside my head
An illusion
That kept me down
Buried me beneath
My lost sad self
Cleaning your pallet
Trying to heal
Believing in a power
So great you can’t even fathom
Yet there he is
Over and over a constant energy
Erasing yesterday’s
Sorrows
Separating
Good and evil
Hand in hand
One must fall
I’ll take thee ladder
Looking through
Your eyes
Your everything
I need along thee path
Defying gravity
Don’t let me lose sight of
What’s important
But most of all you

Displeasing backdrops
Undercover agent
No need to spell it out
Any further
Accidental persona stolen
Mistaken identity
Expunged
Rewritten not quite
Finished
Yet to be determined
In a fresher aura
Practicing a new set
Of principles
Disenchanting chatter
Like the imitations
They do more harm then good
Faces and places
Like mugshots freeze frames
I never wanna stand
In line for again
Scarce comforting flipped
On its head
Rendered defenseless
Against the other side
A new hope has risen
To astounding heights
Hope there all satisfied by now
Messiah grant me
The serenity to accept the
Here and now be more present
And crush the past like a can
My galaxy never quite
Glowed in the dark
Now it’s dipped in fluorescent lights
And my black hole
Well it ****** me up in its tailwind
I’ve realized it was all part of the process
Just a rough draft in waiting

Splitting hairs
Honing in
On what really mattered
Scratch and sniff
Petrified of being
Pulled outside my comfort zone
A summoning calling me to a cleaner
Way of living
Halting the
Relatable dilemmas
Omens like
Cultured wounds that my
Blemishes couldn’t hide
A casualty
Of someone else’s sinister games
No longer will I play ball
I’ve given
It all a whirl
With mixed results
Very few counter offers
Shined through like him
A drug that
I had to escape
You became my antidote
Breaking myself totally apart
You built me back from spare parts
Better then new  
I was constantly being hypnotized
By the lonely twilight
That was not the most suitable
Companion
My eyes started
Gazing upwards
Breezes slowly began to twirl
Of a teasing love
That spoke to me like nothing
Else ever had
Flowers soon blossomed
After my garden
Was finally tilled
Transitional years grabbed hold
Like a
Bull in a China shop
Everything was busted
Sensitive to the touch
Behind a reasonable doubt
That’s me
The fluctuations are now
Boxed up finally contained
I had to liquidate my assets
Into a new portfolio
Leave the baggage at the back door
And let my new partner shine brighter
Then I could

A QUICK WORD
I’ve read some MOVING
WORDS
IN REACTION TO MY POETRY…
I don’t seek FAME…
Just to know that ONE POEM…
Could make another persons…
Wheels TURN A BIT IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME… THANKS TO YOU ALL…

Unrighteousness
Inlayed
Woven into me
I had to put the misery
Out to pasture
Target practice almost buried me
The blood sweat
And tears became entwined
Null in void  
Like the fiddler
On my roof banished
Beyond liberating
As the prisons crumbled
Fortresses and barriers fared
No better collapsed
Could no longer hold
Me at there own request
Consume elsewhere
Find a new enemy
Identifying a better reality
Taking a bite of
The right fruit for once
Endless chapters
Non fiction roared
Like the sad fables of yesterdays
They might still be screaming
But I’m not listening
Not my kind of scripture
I didn’t have
Enough tools on my belt
To cope properly
Until he shined down on my sadness
Eventually I started easing towards
Something more graceful

Travesties ignited
Fractured as
Life hammered away
Like a sad song on repeat
Apologies like raindrops
They never stuck
Forgiving has always
Been one of my
Biggest obstacles
Maybe one day I can find it in myself
Like the decompressing
Headaches
I needed an outlet
Couldn’t see it till now
Reliving the same ole stories
How the heck
Can you shake such a rut
As the insanity set in
He saw
The best in me despite my flaws
Yet I continued
To label myself a fraud
Life hadn’t taught
Me any better
Betrayals like the wounds
That never go away
And I’ll always live with
The shame that wore
Me like a wholly sweater
But it doesn’t have to define
My whole story
I’m never proud
Admitting the truths
That should never be murmured
Outside these walls
Numbing myself never accomplished
Much in life
Life burnt through me
Like a pack of smokes
I finally put down for good
As the dim light came to daylight
I had an epiphany get out of your own
Way and start living
Or get busy dying a little faster

Prophesy
A sign from above
Idle hands
Unlocked
Sustainability granted
A carpenter
Builds me a new frame
Of mind
I’ll praise you
Till my last breath
The unfortunate times
I’ll just have to live with
The cost already paid
Healing up the best I can
Unforeseen history
I’m no longer tied too
Quite the transformation
The impact you’ve had on my being
Your dedication
To healing me when I was
At my lowest
Never wavering from your
Prominent position
The promises held dear
They ******* away
Humming bird fluttering
Like a guardian angel
Flying outside my window
Vibrant energy is contagious
Origins all your own
Responsible for my well fare
The hoax was always up
Just took me a while to figure it out

Confiding
In your belief
Senses revived
You raised me up
To a different plain
Awaiting eternity
Prefect motions
A pathway higher
You need no
Introduction
Epitome of all
You took
The shackles off
And no longer does the darkness
Reign over me
Prisoner of war released
The ultimate imprint
Stamp of approval
Even when I feel
Like I’ve done nothing to deserve it
The sum of all
Personas the vast majority of
All we see
Nothing greater
A divine providence
You retrieved a
Lost traveler
The things
I suffered through
Early on
Don’t compare to
Your unlimited sacrifice
Deep rooted
My struggles groomed
Who I have become today
Coming to the realization
Your behind anything
I could ever comprehend
A soloist who taught me
What it feels to be alive again
My one shining star hallelujah

SHARE YOUR FAITH
When you give God thanks for what He's done, especially in the middle of chaos, it's not just gratitude
—it's a declaration of faith.

Flexing patterns
Slight of hand
Flattering inspiration
Fostering me
In its warmth
Soft whispers
Like a breathable oxygen
Prima ballerina
Please grace
Me with your soft sweet movements
In limbo I’ve been
Four leaf clovers
Splitting lucks running on fumes
Army of me
Loosen up your
Bark
I’m just a man
Never claimed to be a king
Creaking floors shout
Gazing walls stare
Don’T shine like silver
Castles
Of sand crumble
A devoted
Loneliness
Just had to veer
It’s ugly head in
Fragments far to relevant
Excavated as the days go
Set by step
Word by word
Masquerading in every detail
To the finest degree
Executioner
Of life latched onto my
Footsteps and wouldn’t unite me

Grand ole opry
Stand ovations
Daydreaming out loud  
Cross cut
Notifications
The who what
And when
Expose
Etched out of clay
When will the
Corners be neatly folded
My revelry escape decor
Hall of mirrors
A round about trip
Titled grin in permanent marker
Paper airplanes
Grounded
Fermentation
Senseless behaviors
My minds like
A sponge
The perpetual crutch
It’s so disabling
In every
Single word I feel
The breath you breathe
Burning desires
To welcome in
Some kind of a revelation
Second guessing
Human natures
So confusing
Like a conduit raining
Down hell
Authentication code
I forgot my pin
The raspy
Schizophrenic tendencies
Paddles to the head
Shockwaves ensue
Branding the crippling pain
Even more
Send in backup if you would
Like a volcano
Ready to erupt
Spiraling stair cases
In my head
Fare no better
When will the ink
Run dry like a desert
Divert it’s course
On someone else’s lap
When will the drawbacks
Be turned right side up

Pushing and shoving
Paying no mind
Speed of sound
Barely visible
Like a mortician
When the bottom
Falls out like a flatline
Like the bullets
You can’t stop
Ducking and dodging to no end
Procedural attempts
Vicious stomping
Friend or foe
Editing your content
An all expense
Paid trip to the four corners
Of your home that’s held you captive
Skyscrapers
That exceeded
There limit
Outlasted there timetable
A blimp on a screen
When will the little dot
Just vanish
Neither here nor there
Always a story or two
Translucent endeavors
Storms in a lunar eclipse
A deep trance stuck
To your side
Buried still in your eyes

Succumb
Too the notions
Up for interpretation
The wheels that
Went flat yet kept on going
Proceed
With caution
Sightseers all aboard
In unlimited numbers
They flocked in droves
Vocalizations hammered
They often
Tasked me in there dwellings
And hindered my ways
Intersecting avenues
Should I have
Stand pact put
My foot down and just drove away
Instead I caved and parked
Running
Red lights
Like a bad habit
I couldn’t shake free
From
Along with the falling trees
That fell
And blocked my paths
Preventing me from going forward
Dissection by
Default
My unwavering
Imagination
In need of some fine tuning
The boulevards
That threw me in there wake
Riding in the carpool
Lane was never lonely enough
Because my stagecoach
Was always overflowing with
Hitchhikers that wouldn’t
Just take another train

Iris awakened
Stopwatch reset
Stubborn
As the rocks I break
Hard to gage
I’m tired of the hurting
My toxicity
Finally filtered close
To a hundred percent
Pure as glass
Crystal clear
Like grains of sand
Fine tuned
Navigating through
The non turbulent skies
Teeter totter
Off kilt unbalanced
In view arriving on a level
Playing field
Somewhat new to me
I’ve found a certain balance
Holding court
Peal back
The film
Unwrap my bubble
Set me afire and
Let me breath on my own
Forever
And let my Relic resemble
The better parts
What ever hasn’t been
Seen or heard yet in the limelight

Hijacked
Irrational thinking
Heaven forbid
Kinder gestures
Sweet amazing grace
The uninvited guests
I surrendered too
This bloodsport has
Spilled enough blood
Taken enough prisoners
Evading
The trenches
Collapsed doom and gloom
No more harvest moon
Having it’s way
Time to rewrite my story
Alleviate the anxiety
Soften the blows
Make the lyrics
Speak quieter
Soak up my soul in sanity
Soil me in effervescent sunshine
Unpolished I have been
I don’t shine like gold
Few truly do
All the chitter chatter
Has gone to my head
In the smallest of increments
It doesn’t necessarily obliterate
Me to the core
Simple known truth
Behold the changing of thee guard
Maybe finally in progress

A never ending
Voice demons
That took over me
Tossing and turning
Stuck in a trance
Biting thee hand
That feeds
Thee lower I went
Thee hurt
Never seemed to fade
It fell continually
Buried me alive
Self inflicted
How thee hell could I not
After all I’d seen
I didn’t know
Any other way
Wanted to mask my pain
Numb to thee core
Afraid to face myself
In thee mirror
Straight insanity
Was unleashed
A dog that wouldn’t stop hunting
For peace of mind
A calming place to lay my head
Finally hit rock bottom
Awoke and fought an uphill battle
Years later reflecting
On living sober and clear headed
How refreshing
Realizing that I’m a survivor
Of a tragic past I didn’t deserve
I almost gave up on life  
But glad I didn’t
Thee almighty one
Had other plans in store for me

Left with what
You have
Far behind thee rest
Primeval locations
Stolen moments
Harder to
Fine what’s right
When it’s looking you
Right in thee face
Carnivals lost cites
Chaos to follow
A million shattered dreams
Rolled into one
Heads in thee clouds
Hearts on a table
The colors
Of life have varied
In and out of consciousness
Searching repeatedly
For a warmth that
Could never outrun me
And outlast all eternity
Contagious flesh
I’m far from prefect
Sins a plenty
I’ve had my fair share
They may be forgiven
Yet I’m always second guessing
Following him
There’s a heavy price to pay
But it’s well worth it
Fruit for thee soul
A reckoning
Words in a book guide
Me now
Like flying kites on a sunny day
That feeling never gets old

One minute your here
At any moment your
Name could be called
Today is all we truly have
Tomorrow is a gift
Not a promise
Watching thee sunrise
And set is a blessing
Everything in between
Is a process
Life is what we make of it
A celebration like no other
Never forgotten
Every single moment
Of every day
You can’t put a price on it
Kindness genuine
Comes in many forms
Goes a long way
Has a everlasting affect
Better then most loved by many
If only you were still here today
A well that never runs dry
Thee impact you had surly was felt  
You’d be happy
Knowing just what a difference
Your time here truly meant
To others
You never know who or what
Might come along
Stop you dead in your tracks
And touch your heart
A like mindedness in this life
Deeply have an impact
Help alter your course
The little things are what matter most
That’s what life has taught
Me through the many trials
And tribulations
Who’s still standing by your side
Speaks volumes of who you are
Lend me your hand
And I’ll show you thee way
When someone speaks
All you’ve gotta do is listen
If only only for a moment
It may help lift your
Spirits up to greener pastures

Decades have
Flown by
Where’s thee proof
Hindsight’s twenty twenty
Help me escape
Ashamed I couldn’t
Have done better
Defeated nothing new
Body traced
Where I lay
If only these walls could talk
Cold bones
False hope
As the lights gone dim
All secrets come to thee surface
Hearts in the flames
One eyes open
Thee others shut
Divided in half
Right down thee middle
Spiritual warfare begins
Spiraling tailwinds
Evil versus good
No neutral ground
As a tug of war ensues
Right and wrong
I’ve always known thee difference
Yet here I am
Maybe the part of me
That stopped caring long ago
Is too blame
For all this
But I point thee finger at others
Always will
This is what they helped create
Caving in
Not knowing which way to turn
A life not lived
Leaves one feeling empty
An impossible mind
Too decipher
Running ramped all over my soul

Peaking in and out
A trip inside
Your head
Isn’t always a pleasant one
Feels more like a permanent state
Sadness knows
No bounds
Doesn’t stop for anyone
Without command on a dime
It’s always there
Thee wheels are turning
Contemplating
The end of my run
Here on earth feels like it’s
Coming to a close
Sooner rather then later
You’ll never
Get what makes me sad
Thee blues came
Calling again
Heavy rains
Flooded my mind and heart
Just like before
I’m too tired to care
Blistered to thee core
And the gas tank is almost
On empty
I wanna wake up somewhere else
In a majestic place
I’ve never seen before
Dance with wildflowers
Run freely in green pastures
With thee lilies
Ride off into thee sunset
Once and for all
Have my name called
And watch the sunrise from thee heavens above
Like a cloud of ash spread on a seashore
**** evaporated into thin air
Now you’ve gone on your way
Be still and free broken man
You’ll no longer have too hurt
Rest peacefully and find comfort
In knowing that fact
Thee lord will set you free when
He’s good and ready

Swallow a pill
Sky’s falling
There’s no telling
Disappear
And hit thee ground running
You can’t outrun me
No matter how hard you try
Your no match
To block out thee noise
It seems to only
Get louder more intense
As thee years have gone by
When thee
World stands still
And I can’t move
I know I’m in for a ride
The merry go round
That won’t stay in place
Constant chaos
I’ve fooled myself
A time or two thinking other wise
Caved in to thee pressure
But he never
Gave up on me
I should always trust
That he has my best intentions
At heart easier said then done
When you’ve seen what I have
That almost becomes
An impossible task
Tunnel vision that’s one sided
Hard to focus
Find a soft spot to land
Waking around with blinders on
Stuck inside someone else’s thoughts

Drifting afar
Winding roads
Empty back streets
Discovering
What’s real or make believe
Who’s really got your back
Thee tone of my soul
Changes like thee weather
Demons roam only fools rush in
Finding clarity in thee madness
Now that’s a tricky one
Has anyone really seen
The real you when you
Weren’t bent outta your mind
With open eyes a sober frame of mind
I think not
Did anyone ever love me for me
A mixed bag how could they
When they didn’t even know
Who I truly was without a bottle
Strapped to my hands
Looking for a ride a way out
A quick fix if you’ve got one
Piggy backing
On everyone else’s
Coattails what a joke
Being someone other then me
Living a false dream
Through someone else’s eyes
When all I ever wanted
Was a life I could be proud of
And too find genuine happiness on my own

So inviting
Embracing the
Yearning quiet
Excelling reveries
Open up your
Palace doors glisten the broken
Calming effects
Maybe they should be
More permanent
Full circle
Back at the beginning
Flashbacks in familiar surroundings
Laughable insanity
Selfish abandon
Fortified oasis
A mirage
To good to reveal itself
Lucid in the daylight
Binding forces
No validity
When the levy brakes
The panoramic views
Expose there true stories
From my perspective
Felt more like dungeons
Classrooms made
Me claustrophobic  
Often closed me
In there crossfire
Taught the
Wrong subjects
I needed stability
Something firm to ground me
My coloring books
Needed much brighter tones
My pencil couldn’t
Stay between the lines
And the rest is
A tragic history
That should all be expunged
Conflicted as ever
Here I am
Trying to balance multiple opinions
Angel on one shoulder
The devils in my head  
Tunnel visions harsh
Stepping stones suddenly appear
Glowing like the north star
Mightily aiming in my direction
Approach with caution
Almighty redemption
Rescind the brokenness so
I can feel a bit lighter

Recycled
Suns setting
Casting crowns
Withering infatuations
Precious views
Blocked by barricades
Victory or defeat
Crimson skies
Gazing upward
Internal combustion
Spills over
Suppressed
By all my fears and transgressions
Tears ran without a spigot  
I couldn’t turn off
Blue and gray
Never made a yellow
Brick road
Imperfections
Never took pity
On my party
Like a barrage of bad moments
A saint I am not
And neither where they
A raging current
Churning tides
The tires fell off before the finish line
Love that forgot
To mention me in a sentence
Careless touch
Your could never cradle
Me properly
A symmetry
Your globe
Is looking less and less
Appealing
The hourglasses in your pupils
Hazy storms
Like fading fires in your eyes
Like the days
You’ve been trapped in
Covered in stone pillars all your own
A faceless man
Who’s starving to be whole

Pale moon light
The catacombs
Missed there mark
Simulations downgraded
Shocked energies
Truth serums
Singled me out
Running endlessly through
My veins
When will the novocaine
Fully activate
Mercy show me
A little compassion
Connecting the dots
Vortexes in a fiery
The whirlwinds
I saw coming yet
Couldn’t get out of the way of  
A clarity I wish I could taste
That leaves no doubts
No stone unturned
Wait I take that back
Leave them in the ground
Enormous wounds
Lapses in the brightness
Uttering carelessly
No ill will
Intended yet
Poorly executed delivery
Your lips
Are moving
Yet your voice
Is barely coherent
Escape hatch
Buried deep in the tunnels
Of this hectic animation
Locked from the inside
A stranger housed in a black lagoon
Prowls like a lost soul
Where is his gatekeeper
Creatures of the night
The degrees of separation
Can’t seem to
Change me fast enough
Hollow out whatever good still hides
Like a stranger inside his skin
A one off
With enough blemishes to
Make me honesty question my true nature

Once the misery
Starts I can’t find
The off switch
A child’s deaf ears
Are woken
To the hairiest of situations
The startled fears
That dare to dream
I’m barely conscious walking alone
Am I able to weep
Inside my bloodiest miseries
I whispered secrets
To my darkest demons
In the shadows
They eventually became me
My sacred possessions
And repressions
Became my silence in anger
The fleeting peace
A bobbing boy
And I still envision it all to this day

Twists and turns
Your ideas
From my perspective
Through a different lens
Stalemate
Patterns holding steady
Frozen I startled
Like my soul had been tasered
Bridges apart
How could I possibly flee
Wildly creeping how could
I truly be comforted
Homeless without shelter
From harm
Backstreets mumbling
In confusion
A fallacy of demons
All my own became me
Signs of anger
No exit or follow through
Trying days each wasted
My fathers shameful eyes
Pierced my veil
Left me with nothing
Much to say
Raindrops like flicking
Pebbles in my mind
Skipping uncontrollably
Movements like derailing
Trains haphazards
I continually wish to
Jump in front of

Cease and desist
Giving way to
Fact or fiction
Dangling your
Dangerous falsehoods
In my face
Puppet
Without a master
Strings cut
Re forecasting
What I yearn for
Covet could never be
Attained in such a venue
Praying aloud
Are my words
Be transmitted properly
Saving face
Seamless waters
They trickle
Supreme being
Never let me down
Life had other ideas
In store
Sanctity I need it
Like a covering of unlimited protection
Shout it aloud
To the masses
The accumulations hamper
Are only
Part of life’s true distractions
If you can stay lost in translation
Till the sun comes up
And the skies don’t swallow you
I am what I do
Not what others say
Bare bones retrieved
Cosmic revelations
Yet to be revealed
Seized by the machines of this matrix
Asking for my happy pill
To alleviate my being

Turn
The other cheek
Good intentions
Never reformed
Sun lit
In the backdrops
Phantom applause
Menaces in a bundle
One hit wonder
Pulsating reruns
Turn the thermostat
Off already
Reiterating clauses
Like a ballad
You can’t get outta your mind
Stuck completely
In it’s clutches
In the shallow
Graves that
Chewed me up
Spit back out to the surface
On the hunt for my survival
Eyes rolling
Shenanigans powerful  
A smugness
Without boundaries
You did your homework
Stalked me to the ends of the earth
And did whatever you saw fit
Full transparency
My manuscript
Was written
By a two faced traitor
A stealer of dreams
Stalker of hope
They stole the words
From right out
Underneath me
Finding
Clarity no more smokey gloom
Teleprompter goes dark in due time

Lethargic movements
Synthetic
Untapped sources
Attention spans
Spinning like
A top
Rising temperatures
Expanding
My unresolved theory
Breaking the riddle wide open
Thistle and twine
The broken branches
That stoke the fire
An extravagant
Grace period in dire need
Of total annihilation
Holding firm in pattern
Endowment
The tears run
In fazes and the treads
Worn thin
The smiles you can’t
Always fake hide behind
In the rubble
Enough similes to
Go around the block
They poke and ****
Like simmering coals
Cold as ice
Far from temporary
Can feel
Like an internal clock
That won’t stop grinding gears
Stain like graffiti  
Feel like the hot summer sun
Burning your character
To a crisp
In the miscellaneous
Shelf’s of your head lie books
Collecting dust
To the outside world
That were never warranted

Bottoms up
Even the chaos
Can speak
A striking
Resemblance shows face
Quieter clusters similar
Cut the
Umbilical cord
Like an umbrella
Drowned out at sea
Music box
Priceless inheritance
Yet the gold is rusting
Reprinting making anew
The fraudulent tones
Fading harmony
Fallen star
Not far behind
The distance between
You can’t fathom
Losing my reality
Swinging from
My pendulum
Pressure cooker
I held my breath to long
It almost buried me
Wiping sweat
From my brow
Deceived by the notions
The lacking of understanding
What’s two feet in front of me
Miscellaneous acquaintances
Mis calculations
Add up
Backfired in a positive light
Patiently awaiting a revival

The startled of frozen,
like a soul's been tasered
a bridge apart to flee,
No wild to be comforted
in homeless of the sheltered,
Mumbling back streets,
of fallacy of the demons.
Anger of a sign "no exit."
Trying but each day's wasted
in my father's shameful eyes,
I have nothing left to say,
flicking pebbles before it rains,
haphazard movement of trains,
I just wish to jump in front of in.


(Jay Jelly)

Swinging from
My pendulum
Pressure cooker
Held my breath
It almost buried me
Wiping sweat
From my brow
Deceived by the notions
The lacking of understanding
What’s two feet in front of me
Miscellaneous calculations
Backfired

(RGH)

The start of misery,
a child's woken ears
to hairy situation
of startled fears.
I'll barely consciously
barely able to weep
in ****** of history.

I whispered my secrets
to darkness of demons,
became my possession
and my repressions
Anger was silence,
and peace was a fleet,
bobbing up in the bay,
and I vision it to this day.

(Jay Jelly)

Bottoms up
Even the chaos
Can speak
A striking
Resemblance shows face
Quieter clusters similar
Cut the
Umbilical cord
Like an umbrella
Drowned out at sea
Music box
Priceless inheritance
Yet the gold is rusting
Reprinting making anew
The fraudulent tones
Fading harmony
Fallen star
Not far behind
The distance between
You can’t fathom
Losing my reality
Swinging from
My pendulum
Pressure cooker
I held my breath to long
It almost buried me
Wiping sweat
From my brow
Deceived by the notions
The lacking of understanding
What’s two feet in front of me
Miscellaneous acquaintances
Mis calculations
Add up
Backfired in a positive light
Patiently awaiting a revival
A duet piece between Jay Jelly and myself.

Untold stories
Display case is empty
Masquerading
Wicked schemes
I hit the redial button
A dad who fled
Rivals we became
Closing time
Before the door even opened
Your voice
Is like a ghost
Yet it haunts the deepest depths
Of my soul
Past transgressions
There was zero excuse
For the stunt you pulled
Left me puzzled
What exactly could I have done wrong Forgiveness for abandoning
A young infant boy
I just can’t get myself to come
To grips with that fact
You pawned
Me before you got
A chance to know your own son
Like I was just a name
On a piece or paper
How did that work out for me
You drove off
A stranger in the mist
Like a bat out of hell
Guess you didn’t wanna be
Caged down
Raise a family you never wanted
And went chasing after what
The mysteries of you
Like a mugshot
Unknown they will never be answered
I’ve thought of you
My whole life far to often
And I could never pawn someone
I gave birth too like you did

Constant reminders
My mistaken
Masterpiece stolen
Canvas cracked
Down the middle
In need
Of a pick me up
I’m tired of the stupid
Games I can’t win
Festering
Radio frequencies
Changing tune
On a dime
Taunting
Telepathic waves
Tricked me for the umpteenth time
My assassin
Has me in it’s scope
Climbing
Up the ladder
Looking for my release valve
A guiding rope to help me
Outta here
Lapses in time
Warmer melodies
Take the hurt away
Endless drought
Then the rainstorms arrived
With the stroke of a brush
I slipped and
Fell again
Awoke in a harmonic dream state
Just let me be still
Here and pray in my pew
Reminders like shooting stars
Fireflies in mass
Like the
PTSD that comes in flurries
I can’t tune it out
Constant flashbacks
An array of madness
Mashes me like a bug
That stir the *** black
The unequivocal soundscapes
That I wanna hear outside the quiet
That my minds always been lacking

Walls are closing in
My wings
Have been clipped
Tunnel vision
Remembering has
Always been my biggest flaw
Boughs down
The grounds shaking
Evil spirits grinning
A waking hell
The mainframes
Been compromised
The fury has just begun
A lackluster life
All due to my polluted mind
Like a sick disease
Where’s my cure at
The real me is in hiding
I’ve never seen him before
When will the madness cease to exist
Waiting till thee ghost is clear
Will the storm clouds ever
Pass completely
Pretending to be okay
Someone else just doesn’t suit me
Entwined the light and the dark
Where’s the compromise
The colors are fading
In my world what’s real
And make believe is beyond me

In the blink
Of an eye
Devastating days
Led to years on thee run
When the storm clouds fade
At thee bottom
Dreaming of the top
What you want
From me you already got
Circle the wagons
Running in place
Not liking what I see
I’ve never been
Able to make amends
With myself
Maybe when
I’m gone they
Can finally take the noose off
Separate my soul
From this mind and body
That has ultimately let me down
Forget about life
That’s a whole other story
Every breath
Becomes harder then thee last
Convincing myself
Too keep my head in the game
When I’d rather just rip it off
Becomes harder and harder
Hindsight is twenty twenty
In my case the complete opposite
Semblance is me pretending
I’m somewhere else
Floating on a cloud
In someone else’s body and mind
My spirit wants what it wants
Freedom to break free
From me for eternity

I wear my
Emotions on my sleeve
Like a straight jacket
The quietest
Person in the room
Yet he writes
With the LOUDEST VOICE
If you knew me
By person
I’m a man of few WORDS
BUT MY POETRY SPEAKS
VOLUMES
MY EMOTIONS ARE THE RAW AND
HONEST TRUTHS
OF A LONELY MAN TRYING TO
FIND HIS WAY TO GREENER PASTURES

Whistleblower
Temptations
I’m fully aware of
As my subconscious
Mind drifts
Swallows me up
Hallucinations bring me joy
Extinction becomes
More and more possible
Hypnotized by a chaotic life
As the doubt creeps
And crawls
The air
Is haunting me
A dream within a dream
Writings on thee wall
Cover up my flaws
Flex out the poison of my existence
As my veins are cleansed
Sedate my
Senses till I become new
Till there’s zero chance
Of me becoming me again
Those voices
That mocked and laughed
Cracked me apart
Had there way
I knew them all too well
Till I was blue
In the face  
They never faded out
They smashed and grabbed
What they wanted
As my head hit the ground
Until my bubble was burst
Sanity was all but lost at some point
Subliminal messages
Appeared without notice
And put a wrench in my spokes

Solar eclipse
In plain sight
Read ‘em and weep
I own
Up to all of it
Despite my best efforts
Those demons
And Convictions
Plied on top of each other
Scattered sins that burned me
Psychosomatic
Red rivers avenge
Truth be told
Body and mind
Incoherent
A deadman’s trigger
Incomplete
Never truly aligned
Seventeen thousand
Five hundred fifty nine days
Of life
Have felt like ten lifetimes to long
Tarnished goods
Windows are stained
Smudged down to the finest detail
Self assurance is shattered
Red skies flaunt
Where did my black butterfly go
To heavy to hold
The melting pieces of me
Cloak and dagger
My souls been
Wrapped up in cobwebs
Cocooned for more then enough time
Blow out the flame
On my candle  
And watch it flicker into thin air
And let me not be stained and shattered
At someone else’s expense any further

The fury
In thee embattled
Moments came
And went without cause or concern
Fabricated me
Engulfing my traumas
Pandora’s box
Took the part
Of me that didn’t belong here
And made it an inferno
My celestial city awaits
And my soul will be comforted
Like never before
Receding censorship
Uneven playing field
Overrun with angst
It’s finally okay
To let go for good
Release the hold of
A troubled lifetime
And give it all to him
Skeleton to dust
A face that once had a name
Now living elsewhere for all eternity Raindrops turned to sunshine
The ash on my forehead no
Longer stings
Fruit from
The wrong tree they fed
Me I ate it
Unapologetically
They helped in my demise
Destroyed my livelihood
******* me up real good
A difficult life I’ve beared
The circles of life
Some far from gratifying
Carved from stone
A stepping stone
One day I’ll ride freely highly above
And have my redemption
Finally absolved of this life
All because of you holy one

Intensely deep within  
The lifeless gravity
Possessed by past images
They run wild
Obsessions a plenty
Sirens buzzing
Tread lightly
Brighter side of grey
It all boils down to this
Why have you not
Treated me better like an equal
Salvage break
Down thee barriers
Revive a one off like me
Please make sense
Of this preoccupied mess
Circulating thoughts
Swallow me
Something all too familiar
Renting space
Has always been a problem
There is zero room
For failure
It getting hard to focus
Is there rest from
My weary mind
Out of touch with reality
I’d rather step out of my mind  
And not return
May I float on a cloud
Of perpetual serenity
One by one slow down already
Cut the cloth null and void
I don’t wanna
Play your ***** games anymore
Staring deeply into your darkness
Has taken the life out of me
As I’ve plummeted to the bottom
All I ask is you leave me alone
And let me unravel quietly without you

Delicate release
All at once
Evaporated
Lingering swells
Envisioning
A sweet ceaseless
Devotion to you
Bottle me up
And throw away
My time capsule
Motionless at sea
Uncharted waters reign
Arsonist
Of my life you’ve done enough harm
Time to blow the flames out
Enough
Of the gallows
That have housed me indefinitely
No more will they
Path of the divine
Show me a better byway
To hell with all this constant
Static and destructive energy  
Pull up the anchor
Put all the criticisms of myself aside
And release me from my sinking ship
Rid me of my decayed baggage
And harmful thoughts
Emotionless indifferences are
Finally settled for good
Let me drift swiftly into your arms
Of forever serenity

Broken records
A vault in heaven
Unlock me
Velvet sky
Ultraviolet
Final time around
Smallest of
Increments
I never glowed
In thee dark
Frozen visionary
Rush of
Blood to the head
Stained glass
No longer resonates in you
Haunting scars
At the end of
The world
My guiding rope fell
The simplest
Things I found a bit
Of comfort in
Who would have thought
Banish the stagnant air
That chokes my inner being
Reeling gray matter
You’ve never been
A gentle creature to me
I’ve seen
All I need too see
I know what I’ve always felt like
The time
Nor place really
Doesn’t matter
Just know it will come
To be true
Turn my darkness into fluorescents
Of guardian angels dancing
Surrounding me in there protection
Taking me in
Transparent skies align
Illuminate my soul into
My true fate
Where my body goes to a sand pile
And my soul is revived
Reflective moments
I don’t want them anymore
Like riding out a lightning storm
Without the rain showers
Drowning you slowly but surely
Opaque not for another day
Not walking around with blinders on
Openly accepting what
Was promised to a believer in you lord

Disturbing my
Fallen dream state became
A wreckage of dire
Consequences it all hits all at once
A heavy fog
Hysterical cerebral influxes
Intensify lead to
Busted minutes
Lost in a spiral of timeless energy
Spaces so unnerving
Shed this horror of a shadow
Beside me
Sew me up and mend
My fallen soul
Mazes of mirrors folding chairs
Breaking
Ring of fire
Let me find my secret garden
Hide me from the darkness that hovers
Eternal distress of flesh and bone
That fought me to the brink
Taught me to hate myself
Wish it wouldn’t have last
More then the first unsettling moment
Defective I never intended to be  
Yet I became none thee less