Winding rivers
I bathe in
Stirring
False narratives
Bleed the same
Slowly
Excavating my soul
Pulling levers hoping
One should open
Elevators up to the top floor
Eventually it all crashes down
Shiny diamonds
Barricading me in there awe
Rusty copper Pennie’s
That’s more like it
Thunder and lightning
I wanna see
My skies align
Rolling hills
No end insight
Breach of contract
You and I
Never truly aligned
Like fire and ice canceling
Each other out
Never a perfect match
Hyperventilating telepathic waves
The stewing ghosts
In my closet  
Wish they knew
Like I do
How I hurt like hell
Confusing illusions daylight
To my wallowing nights  
Desperately seeking
A muse too take the lid off
Some kind of
Joyfulness to put me in it’s vise grip  
An antidote for the agony
To go away for a while
The outer spaces
Of my mind or something like paradise
Oh how I long for them

Dancing willows
Spotless movements
Never my own
Monumental gains
Unachieved
Overcome
With attrition
Last call
Use me up
And just let me go
Life’s guilty pleasures
I never found comfort in
Unlit avenues
The face of
A thousands heartaches
The stillness
Painted me like a sad scenery
As everything
Else moved about  
A grounded flight sat and wondered
Flawed character
My nostalgia ran
It’s course
The sentiments only
Grew dimmer
As time stood still against me
I became frozen
I’d gladly
Trade a pound
Of my own flesh
For an ounce of ecstasy
My darkest days here
For a slice of the pie
In the sky
Self aware of just how
Baldy and broken I’ve always been
Self acceptance the one thing
I could never truly deliver for myself

SELF-EXPRESSION
Cosmic ebb and flows
Missed the mark
Light years away
Thirsty for
My eternal sunshine
Foreshadowing hunger
In the background
The cold sheets
I lay in
The bad neighborhood
Between my ears
Like a riddle
I am
Trapped inside a maze
One foot in front
Of thee other
Oh how that would be so swell
Evil auras
Spells that were cast
I always saw
Them coming
They sent chills up my spine
Guess I couldn’t change
Direction fast enough
To get out of there way
Can you all
See me from
The mountain top
Landslides
Come in all forms
I see the pain
In which I write with
The tidal waves
That rule
The insanity of my blues
Are they truly all my fault
I rarely
Like company that I can tolerate
Let that of my own
It would be nice to be heard
Recognized by someone other
Than me
Felt adored once in while
Because I show myself
Very little love if any praise
I’ve always fallen
Flat felt like a caged animal
My one true voice
As unpleasant as it often is
Brings me a little hope and joy
An escape for a few moments
A way outta my head
Poetry my one and only therapy

BILLBOARD
Fraying
Paper heart cuts
A penny for my thoughts
The sinking feelings
In the back of my head
Swell
Has the quicksand won
Falling short
The hourglass has fallen
Fly on the wall
Shocked
Talking to god
Black butterfly sputters
Stuck in a cocoon
Trying to disguise
The hurting
Defuse the situation
At all cost
Mourning
When the sun
Won’t rise on your street
Advertisements cold and wretched
Far from fake news
From shore to shore
It continues to print tirelessly
Realistically
What exactly
Am I looking at
Head in my hands
All this blasphemy
Nazareth
Paint a prettier scenery
Produce much better results
Someone call a hearse
Inner circle
Who’s pulling the strings
Holy wars
I’m all ears
Dark ballads
Never missed
There mark
They mocked and prodded
Any chance they got
No vacancy sign
Guess it wasn’t bright enough to see
Clearly
Yet you all lived
In my head rent free
Like a bad neighborhood since birth
And I want what I’m owed
Plus back pay
A billboard that should be
Burned to scrap donated elsewhere
Idyll as I am
I’ll take a one way ticket to a new euphoria

SELF-EXPRESSION
Cosmic ebb and flows
Missed the mark
Light years away
Thirsty for
My eternal sunshine
Foreshadowing hunger
In the background
The cold sheets
I lay in
The bad neighborhood
Between my ears
Like a riddle
I am
Trapped inside a maze
One foot in front
Of thee other
Oh how that would be so swell
Evil auras
Spells that were cast
I always saw
Them coming
They sent chills up my spine
Guess I couldn’t change
Direction fast enough
To get out of there way
Can you all
See me from
The mountain top
Landslides
Come in all forms
I see the pain
In which I write with
The tidal waves
That rule
The insanity of my blues
Are they truly all my fault
I rarely
Like company that I can tolerate
Let that of my own
It would be nice to be heard
Recognized by someone other
Than me
Felt adored once in while
Because I show myself
Very little love if any praise
I’ve always fallen
Flat felt like a caged animal
My one true voice
As unpleasant as it often is
Brings me a little hope and joy
An escape for a few moments
A way outta my head
Poetry my one and only therapy

RITUAL
Belle of the ball
Turns to tar
Never too reconvene
Egregious serpent
Here furthermore  
Target someone else
Off to never land
Limbs and debris
Six feet of gravel
Unwritten tablet
Dejected as I am
Whistling winds
Drain my arteries
Wishful thinking
I got caught by a robber
Looking inside my crystal ball
When you
Get sadder
And stuff it all down
It only stiffens to a board
That much easier to translate
Then comes back
And blindsides you out of nowhere
Provoking
The none ****** insanity
Only rubs salt in thee wounds
Makes me that much more uneasy
The rituals that
Run wild with time
Take me in there grasp
Voodoo dolls
Constantly poking and prodding
Theoretically applied in my skin
Gently
The sun is burning
In my dead sky’s
Solemnly heard
My moon is howling in the mist
Keep the wolves at bay
Get me the hell outta here  
I really don’t want
To outlive everyone else
I would rather everyone else outlive Poor ole me
That’s a simple known fact of mine
And just let me get to home base first
Let these rituals be the sacrifice
Of someone else not my own

EYE IN THE SKY
Shape of
My heart
Tug of war
Torn to pieces no longer
I’ve waited here
For you
Unspoken
All things are possible
In what I can’t see
With my own two hazel eyes
Stand up fight thee
Good fight
Survival of the
Fittest  
No time for wasting away
Seeing is
Believing
One spark
Changed it all
Life finally begins
Better late then
Never
I’d almost given
Up on myself
A life I thought
I could never have
For myself
Came to be
Landed in my lap somehow
Closed my eyes
Took a leap of faith
Learned to fly
And trusted in something I’ll
Never fully understand
Took a leap of faith
And learned to live again
Redemption never
Tasted so sweet
Full speed ahead
Cup overflowing
No turning back around
Thee past is dead
Gone without a second thought
Or care for that matter
Living in the here and now
Never felt so satisfying
Alive finally free to be
Who I truly am