I tried to write you a rhythm,
I tried to write you a song,
I tried to write you a poem
About how much I’d loved you all along.

But I can’t find the words that describe you,
My mind is buzzing and numb.
The words do not rhyme and that’s not you,
It’s me, I just can’t find the one.

I feel ill and so constantly haunted,
by thoughts and not by your soul,
To see you again would be wanted,
to see you back when you were whole.

So all I can say is I miss you,
that I never managed to hide,
I said that I’d see you in heaven,
and about that I never lied.

The day that we lost you we lost it,
The day that you left us we cried,
I tried to forget, I remember,
I tried to forget you, I lied.

I lied when I said that I missed you,
I lied when I said that I lied,
I wished and I wished that I’d fixed you
I missed you the day that you died.

I always remember November
That day you were taken away
But we shed a tear for every year,
When the skies were crying and grey.

4 Years gone, we miss you. xxxxx

I was scared we wouldn’t find you in the dark,
I’d only seen you there one time before.
I hoped that there would be a glowing mark,
That would lead us without fear towards your door.

She was scared because she didn’t like the place,
She promised that she would be calm and strong.
I took her hand and held on just in case,
But she knew it was not scary all along.

I thought she’d be the one who would remember,
It hurt when I found out she forgot.
She said that she thought it was November,
As she stood there and lied we were distraught.

But when I saw the candle glowing brightly,
The fear and hurt and pain all went away.
It guided us and lit your grave so lightly,
We wished you well on your 19th birthday.

We walked, we walked out of the gates and up the rocky hill.
We listened to that song you loved, I hated, hate it still.
The 4 of us we laughed and climbed, and at the end I said goodbye.
You smiled I smiled, I never thought that last goodbye would be goodbye.

If I knew it was the last day that we would be having fun.
Perhaps I would have spoken more, spoken less, listened more, said something meaningful.
I could have said I’d missed us growing far apart.
I could have tried instead, to heal your head and not just heal your heart.

If I knew what was to happen, I would have said it properly.
Not just goodbye, regretful ‘goodbye’, goodbye’s now haunting me.

Goodbye, goodbye it taunts me, in my dreams I say goodbye.
And then they leave, they disappear, they go, you go.
You die.

The things you could have done.
The places you could go.
Out studying or having fun.
But now we’ll never know.

The things you should have done.
Found new friends, kept us close.
Fallen in love with someone.
But now you’re just a ghost.

I thought that God was real.
Until they found you’d gone.
But the pain that we all feel.
Is proof that I was wrong.

I have to believe that heaven.
Is where you are today.
Your 19th Birthday come and gone.
We’ll see you again, I pray.

In silence we stood and watched you arrive.
In silence they drove you to the door.
In silence we stood, all three of us alive.
In silence we let the silence roar.

We stood, we sat, we prayed, we cried.
We were close for the last time.
The silence tried, but there was nowhere to hide.
The bells, so loud they chimed.  

We walked around to the back of the yard.
We saw you lowered down.
The earth was soft, the rain was hard.
We thought your soul would drown.

As I gaze now upon that spot.
Filled with beauty and pain.
The world, it knows that we will rot.
Only memories remain.

You were beautiful in all you tried.
You were taken far too soon.
Our living lives, are filled with pride,
And bitterness and gloom.

I miss you.