I've swallowed the uncertainty of all impending doom
I've left the doors wide open to this dark and hallowed room
I feel I'm slowly dying as my body fails me everyday
Anxiety and pain, I'm tired, but it's mostly you in my way
I can not cast blame onto a soul suffering as equal
But I need a way to break through the places that died before the sequel
Literal anesthesia is becoming a part of me
It makes me fear I'll never again feel the center of my heart beat
I have no energy left to make time and room for any hate
Just promise before I pass that you'll open up that gate

Coming undone has kept me alive
Ripping open the wound is what heals me
I can almost smell the air that I breathed with the innocence
I can almost feel the chills from honest intentions
A vacation feels a lot like a heart breaking
A heart breaking will keep me whole
I can almost hear the silence that spoke volumes in my soul
I can almost taste the comfort of tragedies I didnt know
I surely still feel a sight that won't fade
What is a proper hello entangled in goodbye

As sleep sets in, I recall a specific night.
A night when the ramblings of half asleep were palm trees and butterflies.

A time when you seemed worthy of everything in my view
Has turned into a dying light, an uglier version of the true you

I drain myself for love that I hold in my hand
Only to squeeze it till it dies and push it away in the end

I can not resurrect the fragile pieces of my youth
I've lost it all in your arms and years of emotional abuse

I'm supposed to live here and see a new horizon
But I long for every yesterday, every word you buried lies in.

I speak of you in a way that listening ears fall in love

The one time I loved myself was when I saw myself through your eyes

How do I still speak this way when you're only a shadow over me

Dear Luke and Thomas,
Stop reading my words if you take them out of context, which you will........ Eat a **... The lot of you

Don't punish me for my words
It's not your place to determine their worth

I've been in a place that is no more
I haven't stepped out, I can't find the door

You're a poison, you're a venom, you eat me away
You're toxic, you're faking, you're making me pay

At last I can see the shape closing in on itself
I'm still gripped by the same hand that I held

You can't see passed what you choose to see
You don't seem to notice when I can't even breathe

I'm searching, I'm looking for the place I belong
But it's missing, it's stolen, it seems to have gone

I'm a possession thats missing from and longing for my home
But the home does not notice for I am merely a ghost