Coming undone has kept me alive
Ripping open the wound is what heals me
I can almost smell the air that I breathed with the innocence
I can almost feel the chills from honest intentions
A vacation feels a lot like a heart breaking
A heart breaking will keep me whole
I can almost hear the silence that spoke volumes in my soul
I can almost taste the comfort of tragedies I didnt know
I surely still feel a sight that won't fade
What is a proper hello entangled in goodbye

As sleep sets in, I recall a specific night.
A night when the ramblings of half asleep were palm trees and butterflies.

I've swallowed the uncertainty of all impending doom
I've left the doors wide open to this dark and hallowed room
I feel I'm slowly dying as my body fails me everyday
Anxiety and pain, I'm tired, but it's mostly you in my way
I can not cast blame onto a soul suffering as equal
But I need a way to break through the places that died before the sequel
Literal anesthesia is becoming a part of me
It makes me fear I'll never again feel the center of my heart beat
I have no energy left to make time and room for any hate
Just promise before I pass that you'll open up that gate

Dear Luke and Thomas,
Stop reading my words if you take them out of context, which you will........ Eat a **... The lot of you

Don't punish me for my words
It's not your place to determine their worth

I've been in a place that is no more
I haven't stepped out, I can't find the door

You're a poison, you're a venom, you eat me away
You're toxic, you're faking, you're making me pay

At last I can see the shape closing in on itself
I'm still gripped by the same hand that I held

You can't see passed what you choose to see
You don't seem to notice when I can't even breathe

I'm searching, I'm looking for the place I belong
But it's missing, it's stolen, it seems to have gone

I'm a possession thats missing from and longing for my home
But the home does not notice for I am merely a ghost

I speak of you in a way that listening ears fall in love

The one time I loved myself was when I saw myself through your eyes

How do I still speak this way when you're only a shadow over me

A time when you seemed worthy of everything in my view
Has turned into a dying light, an uglier version of the true you

I drain myself for love that I hold in my hand
Only to squeeze it till it dies and push it away in the end

I can not resurrect the fragile pieces of my youth
I've lost it all in your arms and years of emotional abuse

I'm supposed to live here and see a new horizon
But I long for every yesterday, every word you buried lies in.