Always pressured to be
Better. Why
Can't I look like those girls? I
Don't. And I never will
Even when I do everything they say
Forget it
Gorgeous hair and slender legs. It's
Hopeless
I'll never look as pretty as them
Just because you buy their lines of clothes. Their
Kissable glossy
Lip balms. That doesn't
Mean that you will look amazing
No way I can be as pretty as them
Oh please. You're gonna spend $300 for some
Pink, cheap piece of fabric? Yeah right
Quit acting like a fool, me.
Right. Life isn't all about mirrors
So go out there and be yourself
T shirt, not **** low neck tank top
Ugly? Psh, no. You mean stylish
V necks for $70? Nope
Whatever I want to wear
Xs on those beautiful fake idiots
You do you. Don't
Zero in on that magazine.

Always having nightmares,
Being in a house full of hatred and sadness.
Crying myself to sleep each night.
Dreading when I have to come home from school,
Every single day.
Fearing the words that could ****.
Going to sleep is a struggle in itself. I
Hide it at school.
I always act happy at school.
Just so my friends aren't suspicious.
Kids think I'm normal. Just
Like them. An ordinary, happy kid, but
Most of the time, I'm depressed.
No way are my friends going to find out
Of course.
Plastering on a smile until I get home.
Quiet doesn't exist. There is always yelling.
Running to my room, crying,
Steaming mad at my parents for all of this.
Tears stream down my face.
Under my tough skin is a crumbling tower. A
Vacation to school makes me relax. I
Wipe the tears before I walk inside.
Xtra smiles for all of my friends,
Yet inside, I decompose with depression.
Zero tears on the outside.

Always cowering
Bullies beat me up
Can't stop them
Don't have the will power
Either way I would still get hurt
Feeling depressed
Getting through each day is a battle
Helpless
I want to die
Just make it stop!
Kids stay away from me
Laughing and whispering behind my back.
My back has a head with ears, ya know.
No one helps me
Only me, feeling betrayed
People wait till the day I don't come to school
Quit sneering! Quit
Ruining my life!!
Suicide is the only way to fix things
Today is the day
Unplug the radio. Plug it by the tub
Vivid images make me question myself
Wishing I didn't have to do this, but it is the only way
Xtreme tension. Goodbye world, goodbye bullies.
Yank the plugged in radio into the tub
Zip.

The things you don't see
Don't bother you

They bother me
They torment me
It's excruciating

I wish I wasn't alone
In this paranormal world
Things aren't as they seem

Or maybe they are
I can never be sure

Can you see them?

Am I special?
Or unlucky?
Am I gifted?
Or disabled?
Do I have superpowers?

Maybe.

Maybe not.

Maybe I'm *******
Maybe I'm a freak
You wouldn't want to be friends with me
If you knew
About the things you don't see

Monsters
Lurking in the dark

Ordinary people
Who may not seem so ordinary

Anything

Everything

At least the things you don't see.

Alcohol. I can't stop.
But I want to. Sort of.
Can't get out of this.
Don't want to get out of this.
Every single day
Fighting to
Go back to the way things were.
Hiding in the shadows.
In the darkness.
Just sitting. Drugs in my hand.
"Kick them to the curb" i try to tell myself.
"Lose them" I urge
Myself.
No, I can't. They soothe me.
Otherwise I would be dead.
People would hate me.
Quit saying that! They already hate you!
Right. No one likes a drug addict.
Some beers wouldn't hurt.
Too many. Oops! My life is
Useless. No one wants it. I'm a
Vase being held by tape and glue.
Without drugs and alcohol, I will die.
Xtreme measures to get them.
Yet do I need them? Yes. Maybe.
Zilch

If only you knew me
If only you saw me
If only you blushed
If only you watched me
If only you called me
If only you texted me
If only you got nervous
If only we were together
If only you met my family
If only I met yours
If only you liked my voice
If only we made each other laugh
If only I taught you ukulele
If only you taught me to dance
If only we locked eyes
If only we held hands
If only we dated
If only we went to the beach
If only I touched you
If only you got butterflies
If only we were alone
If only we leaned in
If only we kissed
If only we liked it
If only we did it again
If only we were meant to be
If only you loved me.

Can you see me?