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K J McCarthy Jan 12
Never let someone who can't tie your shoe laces determine your self worth
What I've survived they wouldn't last a mile
Accept their ignorance for what it is
Small minds don't deserve my attention
I can't expect them to understand a path that most people don't come back from
If they want to live in your past leave them there
I have a future to build
K J McCarthy Jan 12
Warm bourbon bottle company
I won't need you anymore
Once the last drop is emptied
Ill sing myself a song of sadness
And fall asleep right where you left me
K J McCarthy Jan 11
Calm seas have never produced
Skilled and able sailors
In the intensity of crashing waves
Is where you find your valor
Winds slashing, lightning flashing
No hurricane could make us cower
Calloused hands grip rope with strength
Moonlight guides our darkest hours
Treacherous times, character defining
Crow eyes survey, suspended in the tower
Battle tested facing death, ready for any challenge
Our sails stand true, unwavering in thrashing showers
Razor blade rain soaks salt stained skin
Quitting just isnt a viable option
We need to prove it to ourselves that we can make it through this
Dark clouds take the shape of haunting faces
Taunting us with their sneering glowers
Fear crys out but the voice of courage sings louder
Surviving is the proof of ability, for which we search and scour
Empowered by overcoming what means to devour us
Rain accumulates into oceans of wisdom
Experience blossoms, self confidence flowers
If we hide when life gets rough

We will never know our power
K J McCarthy Jan 1
Still as a statue
Like a moss covered stone
A big waking stretch
Met with sighs and soft groans
Struggling eye lids reluctantly open
As the sun peaks over the horizon
Projecting on the ceiling of our room
Woken by the hectic morning commute
Time ticking and stuck in traffic
Suits late for business meetings
The relief of being free from productivity
While the rest of the population is busy
I could stay here for eternity
Rotting with you in this sheet covered sanctuary
Cold feet from stolen covers
Play fighting and morning breath kisses
Here in your natural habitat
Make shift pajamas consist of my over sized band tee
No bra just ******* and disheveled hair
Naturally beautiful in anything that you wear
Today is free of responsibilities
I wish every day could be like this
Only stepping outside for that post *** cigarette
In our own little Universe
Lost in those sparkling eyes and coffee flavored lips
Binge watching our favorite horror flicks
Amused by your every movement
How you talk with your hands
I don't want this day to end
I could live a life with you just rotting away
and I'd die a happy man
K J McCarthy Jan 1
Second guessed texts
Dancing dot anticipation
Pausing then proceeds
Indecisive ellipsis...
An indication of deleted words
There is no going back
Once this draft is sent
Serious conversations make me anxious
How will I be received?
Do you even care?
Is it even worth the time?
Will this just make me look stupid?
Trying to find the perfect sentence
I need to clear the air
Uncomfortable silence
This must be addressed
I just can't go on
With this weight on my chest
I need to be heard
This needs to be said
I look away and hit send
A second seems like decades
As my concerns sit on read
Millions of possible responses
Play out in my head
Torturous unspoken words
Id rather have the sting of closure
Tell me you're done
That I ruined everything
You want nothing to do with me
I could live with that
I would accept that
Over no response at all
But the point is well received
You made things quietly clear
I'm not worth your energy
So I'll just disappear
K J McCarthy Jan 1
Movie role personalities
Authentically fake
I yearn to see behind the curtain of your charade
You're a character in a cast of self loathing, enslaved by internalized hate
Your mask worn, tightly secure
Hiding your sad eyes, overflowing with pain
Out of focus and opaque
You ignore, praying that it goes away
Pretending it has no effect
Till the hurt almost fades
Numb and alienating, kicking and screaming to escape
Telling me I will never understand
Then you push me away when I try to relate
Sharing similar experiences is seen as competition
You think I'm trying to minimize
Like I'm saying your life wasn't as hard as mine
Putting us at odds when I just want you to see that I see you
Understood and accepted
Judgement has no place here
But you can't seem to get it
Overstimulated by constant emotions
Bombarded until comfort is discovered in disarray
Chaos becomes normalcy
Peace is a stranger, serenity is mistaken for the enemy
You thrive in disorder and sabotage yourself
A rabid animal lashing out at help
Violently defending, evading my every attempt to break inside your shell
The embers of betrayal devastated your trust
The flames crackle and swell
Each breath labored
Saturated lungs blankened with every inhale
Alone and secluded, perfectly safe in delusion
Hypnotized by your own lies
Leaping desperation, crashing into impulsive conclusions
Penny thoughts and insufficient hopes
Ropes snap like broken promises
Held by a thread compromised by the weight locked away in your head
Dropping into the boggy water of the minds polluted well
Subconscious tongues conjure demons that utter generational spells
Far from the victim, you're the creator of this tormenting disposition
Your minds a purgatory, some kind of hell
Reminiscent of cold cement walls, steel slab sleep, confined in a cell
You let these devils in
With cunning wit, calculated and persuasive
A weakened mentality happily consenting, they sink their claws into your soul
Completing the bond of parasitic possession
The circulation of elations pulse is faint
Happiness flatlines into permanent stasis
All traces of joy evacuates your veins
Just a remnant of who you once were
An empty host ****** dry by lament
Too far gone, forever lost in the wilderness of obsession
Infatuated with your own suffering and depression
K J McCarthy Dec 2024
You dont know loneliness
Until you've felt alone in the presence of someone you used to love
So close but you're out of my reach
This silent environment
Thick with quiet resentment
Nothing left to say
Only dead attempts to reason
Our dry eyes are indifferent
The lack of reaction is now common ground
Not like the tear soaked cheeks we once wore on the regular
Emotionless, hoping to go unnoticed
I try to stay motionless
Fragile egg shells shatter under the pressure of even the most cautious step
All efforts to remain undetected are futile
Against your shining spot light that illuminates my every mistake
Teetering on a tight rope
I stumble as every move made is met with criticism
This bond we once had
Turned into a rotten and bitter rivalry
Exhausted and mentally battered
Frequent arguments created this distance
I almost miss the passion of our bickering
Now it doesnt exist at all
Atleast we used to fight
Now we barely talk
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