I wish I knew you were there but maybe that's for the best I had a feeling but negative test and you were not playing nice in mommies tummy I wish I knew maybe then I could have saved you

why was it not comfy enough was the space not right or was it the  time I'm sorry my little angel I have failed you and now I have lost you sleep tight baby and mommy will be there soon

Why
Why can't this stop
Why can I stop
Each fight cuts deeper
Each feeling of unwanted
Cuts deep why can't it stop
It's not just the world that is cutting me
It's you your like posien to me
You run deep in my vains
A virus I can't get rid of a virus that makes me feel so sick but I love it a virus that is killing me but I can't live without your just like a pill why can't I get pills out my head each overdose didn't work but why am I so stupid I can't even commit suicide right
That smile it makes me burn inside that smile I can't unsee I just want you to want me why is it so hard for me all I do is hold my breath and count to 10 on a constant state of anxiety why why me God why I believeed in you and you do this they say have faith but how how can I I pry I talk but you ignore me you don't help what am I doing wrong why just why one question in the univers that no one can or will answer WHY!

There is nothing more that I want in this world that I  want is to bring life into to I am a mother with no child why can't it happen all my enimies have my dream why can I have my dream why am I always the one who never gets it why why am I so unlucky

Maybe the world will forgive me and give me my baby just maybe

I ****** up
I'm constantly remind of that
Nothing is the same

They all might thing it
But in reality

We don't have the same inside jokes
We don't laugh the same we don't even fight the same

The day I left was the day I fell apart bit by bit the day I lost everything the day I ****** up

My sisters the one who was aways annoying to me my little sister then the one who I looked up to who I wanted to be like my big sister. now I have a nephew  We don't have that bond you two have I wasn't there when you were born I regret that


Mam were just not the same I love you and still need you but we don't have the mother daughter bond like we used to


Dad since I found out I never loved you less I loved you more because it takes a real man to be a father not just blood

Your my family and I left and I regret that now I'm home things are geting back I'm coming back I love you and bit by bit everything I coming into place but it's still not the same because I. *******.e.d u.p!

Second best

I know it
You know it
We all know it
I'm second best

I wish I was first
I wish I could do something to change it
Why can't I why cant you just love me more why are you letting me live this way

Why I wish I didn't feel like this I want to love him but I can't it's to hard to painful why do I hate her so much why do I hate her is because she spoken the truth is it because she said what they did I don't know but when I hear her name Im like a ball of flames

I just need you go be my water and put it out and leave it out why can't that happenen I'm I not worth it

Can I?

One question, a question that can ruin you
A question that can defeat you,can I?

Can I? go out and face the world with this upside down smile can I?face geting out of bed and eating out my head because I'm so bored so lonely that I can do no more

Can I sleep tonight without beeing In fight
Can I? speek to him/her with out a panic can I?live  life and be a fighter not Just a suviver

Can I bring life into this world when I cant even pull myself thought it can I be there for you when I can't even be there for me

Can I find the answer can I believe in the answer can I? You know what yes I can I can do this and I will do this I am a fighter that's why I'm a surviver I can get out of bed I won't be bord I have pomes to Wright I have a life I have a dream I can..

We use to be so close
We were hand to toe
We were inseprebe
Now now we don't even cuddle at night
Now I'm always in a fright
Now all we do is fight
What do I do now
I just want to hold you so close
I want to fell like we did once before
Why can't we fix this
Let me fix this

My chest is so heavy
So much to carry
The world is on to of me
I need my cup of coffee

Lets hold each other tight through the night
Lets not fight and get rid of this parasite
And make it though the night

We can do this I know it were strong it's us against the world remember also everything is always ok keep that in mind

Your my kind of guy your my world my one and only the one for me I love you baby please don't leave me