We continued to talk until midnight, when I got tired of social interaction with this particular person.
We said our goodbyes. I plugged in my laptop, shut it down and let my thoughts take over, like a wave of seawater spilling into the room, filling up the large empty space with aquamarine.

I floated off my bed, around my room, and towards the window. The world was pitch black. I narrowed my eyes, and sat on the floor as my loose clothing swirled  around me. I watched as bubbles came from my mouth, drifting to the surface of the warm blue .

I wanted my room painted blue. A very pigmented blue, to be exact. Blue calmed me down. I watch as my hair floats up and around my head. I laid on the ground, and let all the air from my lungs out.

My body was moving in slow-mo, all I had to think of was the warmth of the water around me. I closed my eyes, as my body sunk to the floor. I breathed in. The warmth flooded my lungs and my chest.

I let my mind wander. I let my thoughts take control behind my eyes and I sat and watched as scenes played through my head.

I had a habit of just sitting down on the white plastic floor and letting my thoughts consume me.

Words filled my head like a flock of bats, others burrowed under my skin like ticks.

Others bore deep into my bones, hurting every piece of fat and worming through every tendon and muscle and….

I felt my head hit the back wall, my eyes snapped open.

TW!! : Anxiety attack/panic


Panic hit me like a bus,
a weight suddenly dropped on my chest,
crushing my lungs and cracking my ribs.

I felt the tightness in my throat,
a sour taste in the back of my mouth
and I tried to breathe.
It felt like i had been punched in the throat,
my head started spinning.

My stomach twisted up into knots,
Sharp jabbing pain up my sides.
Nothing caused this.

Let me tell you what was happening when this happened.
Today, I was sitting in history class, 6th period.
It was 12:22 pm and I was writing about the Declaration of Independence.
I typed out the name “John Locke” as an answer to a question and then

All of a sudden my heart started racing.
My breath was trapped in my lungs, in my chest
beneath my bones that made up my wiry frame.

it felt like being hit by a crashing wave.
Like a thousand tons of ice cold water towered over me,
Only to swallow me and take the fleeting breath from my lungs.

TW!!- skin picking, sh, anxiety

4-12-21
My skin itches, the feeling of
A thousand needles dances across my skin
Bleeding from pits on my face
Where my nails dug too deep
Into my flesh
In an attempt to lessen this heavy feeling
Or at least ease it a little.
A constant worry, a pressing feeling, a weight
Like there's someone sitting on my chest at all times.  
It makes my breaths shallow
And my stomach grumble, twist and turn.
My head aches, making me dizzy
and tired.
I'm so worn out
From always feeling like this..

TW!!!! - panic attack description

Pressing
Fearful
Panic-stricken
Terror
Paranoia
And shifting eyes
Scared of who- or what- might be around the corner
Not even daring to look out the window
Afraid you’re being watched
A crawling sensation on your skin
A dark feeling
Suffocating
Feeling a weight on your chest, like you can’t breathe
You’re scared
You want to run
You want to hide
You don't feel safe anywhere
They’re going to get you
They’re hunting you down
They know where you are.
You can’t hide
You can’t run
You’re going to die.

I never believed in love
Until I met you
I was always skeptical
Of meeting someone
And just falling for them at first sight
I never expected it
I have things about you embedded in my memory
I have your voice, the things you say
Playing through my mind
I never thought I would feel things
Like warmth
Or that I would miss someone’s touch
When so often I flinch away from others’
I never thought I could love someone
Or be loved
Until I met you.

What is love?
I think it's a feeling in your chest, a compulsive feeling
You have to say it, don't let the moment go to waste.
Let them know
Before you never get the chance again
Because you never know
When their line will end.
I think it's a warm feeling
Like that moment a mother holds her child for the first time
Like looking at someone and just loving everything about them.
When you feel safe, and at peace,
When they love you too
It's not something that makes you scared
Something that makes you hurt
Or something that makes you cry, or miss, or long
For something else
Have you ever felt love?