OH,Snap
             He just invited me over to watch some movies and hang out
What to ware?
              I could ware my black tights with the pink sweater my **** looks real good in those....NO
               I could ware my shorts and show off my new shimmer lotion...NO
Ok my sweats and a hoodie is perfect time to go.
               His house is soo nice and it smells good
Why is he looking at me like that.
                 Maybe I'm too close....Okay he slid closer
Let me focus on the movie
                            Morris Chestnut is super cute but not as Cute as what's sitting next to me.
Okay Girl focus girl focus don't look at him focus on the Movie
                              Did he just lick his lips GOD help just look at the movie
"Huh?!? Me?,Yes I'm thirsty "
                  What is this? Taste like a ***** Rainbow He's really trying it.
Wow, those lips tho and if has looks at me one more time I think I'ma faint.
                                    Okay ,Okay hey focus focus look at The movie
"Yea, It's getting cold in here"
                              He moved closer and he smells so good.
I gotta go I cant do this.....Those lips
                              No No you are! strong you are strong!
Oh what the Hell I'm going for it he wont stop me.
                           His Hands are so strong so much for the movie.

If daddy didn't break my heart....
Hopping from bed to bed would not be a sport
Looking at men as unworthy of love and compassion would not be my sight and allowing myself to be loved would come naturally.
If Grandfather didn't die....
I would have arms to run to when I'm sad
Looking at myself as kind and compassionate would be my sight
and allowing myself to smile would be like breathing.

The moment I realized I didn't like me was when I allowed pain to become my best friend.
See pain was always there right by my side never letting me down.
When my boyfriend just left me alone with no explanation pain was there.
When My best friend betrayed me and broke my trust pain was there.
When my uncle use to sneak in my room at night to play his special game pain was there.
So it was only natural for me to cling to pain.
Holding my hand through it all,
Pain was the only stable thing in my life never changing up on me. Never hitting me with a unwanted surprises. No matter the problem I can always count on pain to help the tears fall  smooth and freely.
Pain knows my heart like no one else inside and out.
Clinging to it the moment it feels peace trying to tear us apart.
Pain will never leave me alone to deal with life.
Pain has been around so long we look identical.
Pain has moved in uninvited of course but I can't put pain out
due to the fear of being alone.
Pain has spoiled me with devotion and dedication.
Pain is my lover
Pain is my Friend
Pain is my teacher
Pain is Me.