If I were to see a shooting star
I would immediately close my eyes
And yearn for his touch
I just want him in the most innocent of ways
To just be able to lie in bed with him
To feel those arms wrapped around me
To feel his heart beat move against mine
To kiss the warmthness that is his neck
To get my hands all lost in his hair
To kiss his plum lips
To get tangled up in the bedsheets as we talk about our dreams
I just want to feel his skin against mine
I want to take in his boyish scent
I want to be able to get lost within his eyes
And finally touch those dimples
I just want him and since there is no shooting star
I am keeping him alive the only way I know
I am keeping us alive through poems
Poems that he will never see
Filled with feelings that will never be voiced.

I used to grow up believing everyone was a Christian
I've never heard of combat
Everyone was always happy
It was world peace on Earth
Everyone was a Republican
But I guess that's just because I'm Texan
I never knew pain existed
I never knew love and hate could be used in the same sentence
I never knew love followed bawling fists
I never knew love could be aborting your unborn baby for the sake of yourself
I never knew love was selfish
I never knew what it mean like to feel dead
Because each day made me feel more alive
I thought everyone would have a gateway into Heaven
I never knew one could ****** to no mercy
Whether it's oneself or another
It is still ******
I used to think it never got stormy
I would always wake up to the birds chirping
And the sun shining
The smell of coffee strong in the house
Breakfast ain't breakfast if you ain't got meat
I never knew bullying existed
I was just always a jolly 'ole girl
And I still try for the sake of humanity
But sometimes my foot falls into the hole on the sidewalk
Oh! My innocent kid thoughts.

Everyone has shoulders to fill
Tears that shed
A burden upon the soul
A gaping, flaming heart
Either from love or hate
Everyone carries burdens
Some just smile a little more
Some just don't think about the weight
They live a better life
There are times when you can't change what you bear
But you can change the way you carry it
Don't walk with your head down
Keep your head held high and back straight
Learn how to bear your weight
Because truth be told, we are all filled with burdens
We are all running to a finish line that doesn't exist.

She walks in the hallways nothing but couples holding hands and proclaiming their love to one another. She stares at awe, wishing for one day to be married and to never divorce, but the timing is just not right for her. She's a sucker for romance novels, she's loves getting lost in their magic. All her friends are dating now, but she is not ready for commitment. She is not ready for the heartache, or the pain of getting hurt. She pushes everybody away once they start to develop feelings for her. She's afraid of getting hurt, so she must hurt them before they can hurt her. She slowly pushes them away and she slowly creeps into the shadows afraid of being seen by the boys. Oh! But by midnight, she'll be up all night reading some romance novel, but she is not ready and she is content with not being ready. Relationships are normal, they say, relationships are natural, the say, but they will never look within her heart for she will never give herself up like that. She is afraid of men. She is afraid of boys. She is afraid of confiding her love in someone that can leave right before her very eyes. She is not ready for her romance novels to be fake, she still lives in her dreams and in her dreams, no one gets hurt, but this is the real world and she is bound to get hurt. She locks up her heart, only willing to give it to the man who stays to find the key gravely contained within Her soul, way beyond a human's ability. She does not want her imagination on love to be fake. She does not and will not let a boy ruin her expectations on love. She is too young for that. After High School, you'll forget me and I'll forget you. Nothing will work, everything is only temporary. She is not ready for commitment. We are too young to commit ourselves way beyond the next minute. I am not ready. I am afraid of boys. I am afraid of men. I am afraid of getting hurt. I am afraid of commitment. I am afraid of never being loved. I am afraid of being loved. They just don't get it! Men are stronger and more aggressive and just like that, they can make way with you. I am not ready for that. I am not ready for love. I am afraid of being loved. I am simply afraid.

They say everything good happens under the stars
Yet there is room for one more on the bed of my Chevy
I packed a picnic for us and brought an extra pillow
Even though I would usually use you chest
The brim of your cup bares no lip marks
The inside of my truck bares all the memories of us
It is a warm night and I am shivering
Where have you gone?
You have parted like the wind
And erased me from your memory
I close my eyes and whisper your name into the dark
A bottle of Whiskey in hand
All the memories are drowning me
I gasp and breathe for air
I guess forever was just a lie and our love wasn't as strong as I thought
I open my eyes and see you here
I take your hand and dance off to the moonlight
Who would've known I was dancing with an angel?
You pull me in for a kiss
And whisper, "I love you," against my lips
You pull my hair, I tug your shirt
We went skinny dipping in the lake
Then, I open my eyes
And realize it was just another dream transformed and written as a poem
Where have you gone?
You should be here with me
I dream you up next to me
Wrapped in your right embrace
Kissing me from head to toe promising the future
I loved you and you loved me
Wasn't that enough?
I lie under the stars
Dreaming of us being in love and having a future
Where everyday is a dance
My alarm goes off and my eyes flutter up
My heart is racing
My bed is drenched in tears
It was just another dream of us
In a life that will never happen
Why couldn't live just be like books?
Why can't you just notice me?
I hit snooze on my alarm and just close my eyes for a few seconds
I let the dreams envelop me
If only dreams could come true
But until then
This is the only form of us that I know
This is the only way I can keep us alive
If only, I could dream forever
If only, I was enchanted
I smile as the dreams come rushing in
My eyes fluttering
My heart racing
Why must I wake?
Why must the sun rise so soon?
My heart is not ready yet
It wants a few more minutes with you
We are in a meadow
A waterfall near us
We are surrounded by an assortment of beautiful flowers
Nature enveloping us
Is this how Adam and Eve felt?
3, 2, 1, SPLASH!
We jump into the water but you disappeared
I feel someone tickle my foot
I look underwater and smile
You grab me by the waist
I wrap my legs around you while my hands get lost in your hair
You start tracing little circles into the small of my back
You pull me in closer and kiss me with hunger
As the river flows, our love gets deeper
We come up for air
Whether it was from being underwater so long or you mouth against me
Who could truly know?
Everything is just so perfect
You are mine and I am yours
If only, I could dream upon a star
Then I could open my eyes and see you here
Rather than dream with my eyes closed wishing you were here
My pillow knows your name
The dark knows your face
My dreams, know your heart of gold
I should really get up now
I should really climb into my Chevy
There ain't no moonlight dancing here or butterfly kisses
But I know that when I see you at school
I can only imagine what your lips would taste like.

There is a constant string of words
Just waiting to get pieced together
Even as I write
My hand cannot keep up
With my poetic heart
Everything I see has meaning
Everything to me is
A poem just waiting to happen.

A poem doesn't have to rhyme
It doesn't have to have a certain amount of syllables
It doesn't have to have a point
You can ramble all you want
A poem can be about anything
It can be about a dandelion and how the wind takes its seeds away to watch more grow
It could be about the closed door
And the many beautiful nightmares
Or all your heart's desires
A poem doesn't have to be about a boy or a girl
It doesn't have to be about anyone
A poem can be about your horrifying past
Just to be able to let it go
A poem can be about your dream future
Just to be able to live it
A poem can be about the crackling of a fire
The steam rising from your cup of coffee
How sweet your tea is
How unhappy or happy you are
A poem doesn't always have to be cheery or gloomy
All that matters is that your poem comes from within
A poem is a form of writing that comes from within the inner depths of your soul, mind, and heart.

The most lightest graze
Can ignite a fire up and down my soul
The most tender graze
Can make me feel dazed
I crave the love
Not the touch
Some days all I want is hugs
Other days I just want to be left alone
I love the sensation of the touch
When it's out of love and affection
I hate the touch when it hurts
And leaves a mark
Love isn't suppose to hurt
Don't touch me out of anger
Don't take advantage
You tell me you do it because you love me
But you are the reason why I'm afraid
I'm afraid to let people in
I'm afraid to trust people
I'm afraid to love people
I'm afraid of being afraid
Just don't touch me.

As I fall to the ground
I think to myself
"Now is my turn"
"This is the end"
With my ears ringing
And my vision blurry
I think, "how could life be so short?"
Just a moment ago I was breathing
And now I can't seem to find any oxygen
They come running to me
Telling me to hang on to dear life
But I no longer know what life is
Once upon a time, I was as naive as a lamb
But now I am a lion
A dying lion, that Is
With my last breath
I summed up, "Life is what you make of it"
Life is love, Life is hate
Life is death, Life is birth
Life is good, Life is horrible
Life is like Heaven
Life is like Hell
And right now, I am stuck inbetween
Many scenarios are playing in my mind
Some are good, some are bad
Some are a dream, some are a nightmare
But you chose
Whether you live a dream
Or live a nightmare
Whether you are in Heaven
Or in Hell
Whatever you put in to your life
Is what you will get
Live as pure as Mary
Live as peaceful as Jesus
And never betray
And you will see the face of God
Through the gates of Heaven
Where I must go guard now
For now I know what life is
Life is about sacrifice for one another
For our country.

I don't care if you love me
But I'd like you to
I push you away
But I want you to stay
I say mean things
Even when my heart is full of love for you
You were the rose
And I was the thorns
You were a ray of sunshine
And I was your stormy night
You made my day better
And all I did was make you blue
I tell you I won't force you to stay
In hope that you won't leave
You were a honey suckle
And I was your wasp
You were a cure
And I was your poison
You were life
And I was death
You were front stage
And I was your shadow
You were skipping
And I was slipping
You were smiling
And I was frowning
You were peace
And I was the war
You were found
And I was lost
You were loved
And I was ******
You were too good for me
And I was not enough
So please stay...
Or don't
I don't care
Even if I do
I like you
I don't like you
You were sensitive
And I was insensitive
You were a Northerner
And I was a Southerner
You were the moon
And I was the wolf
You were the cherry
And I was the stem
You were the flower
And I was the dirt
You were Heaven
And I was your Hell
You heart is whole
I don't have a heart
Your life is complete
My life hasn't started
You were sweet
And I was bitter
You were the wild berries
And I was the vine
You were soft
And I was hard
You were a cloud
And I was the rain
You were a planet
And I was the asteroid
You were the water
And I was the Fire
You are an Angel
And I am a Demon
You fixed me
I broke you
You still stayed
You were afraid to speak your mind
But I was a blunt
You spared the feelings of everyone
I spared no one
You were as soft as a teddy bear
And I was as hard as steel
You were glass
Marked 'fragile'
I was a bomb
Marked 'dangerous'
Don't you see?
I am hard to love
I am insensitive
I am caring
I love with a passion
And hate with my heart
Nothing can hurt me
Eventhough I feel everything in vain
I will defend you
I will leave you
I will love you
I will hurt you
I will say mean things
And do kind
I will not care of you
Even if my heart does
I will say goodbye
Even if my arms say stay
The door is right there...
Just leave
But I am right here...
Just stay
I am a girl
With many different sides
I am love
I am hate
I am ammo
I am the gun
I am the band aid
I am the doctor
I will love you till my last breath
Or when you decide to leave
Beware of me, this is a warning!
I am hard to love.

I am gunpowder and lead
I will break you
I will fix you
I will hurt you
I will mend you
Just make sure you don't hurt me
Because I will deliver it worse.

Some people say I'm mean
Others say I'm heartless
And they woudn't do what I did
They just don't get it
I don't sugar coat anything
I'll tell you how it is and I won't lie
The just don't get it
I have to protect myself
I have to defend myself
I gotta do what's best for me
Even if I hurt others in the process
I told them
I won't sugar coat crap
And I'll be a straight up blunt
Because I am gunpowder and lead
They still didn't get it
I've lost many
But I know who's loyal.

And there will be a time
When a boy
Ignites a fire
Up and down your soul
But you got to learn how to contain it
Because one day
He will be gone
And so will that fire.

But once someone
Cries affront of you
It means they gave themselves up
They needed someone
And they chose you
Keep a flask in your heart
And mark this day
Write it in stone
For tears are sacred.

I am free
For the soldiers who fought
No one can compare to them
They are this Country's constant thought
They are the brave
They are the strong
The ones we rave
The ones we long
They are veterans
Fighting in hell
For our Heaven
But now we say farewell
For they are in God's kingdom
Assigned to guard Heaven's gates
Now they are at rest
So it is now our fate
To keep America at its best
Thank you Lord
For these Veterans
Now give them my word
They are my hereos
They are Veterans.

I look in the distance
There is no place I'd rather be
And I know in this instance
I can just be me
Look at the wind
It is so calm and swift
How I wish I could rewind
And live life more like a gift
As I sit on this tree
I can't help but feel connected
Now I know what it's like to feel free
Sitting here on this tree has made me feel affected
In a good and spiritual way
I feel closer to my country roots
Oh how I wish I could fly away
I stare at my boots
And know their ain't nothing more simple than this way of living
How I wish people would just look around
And see that this is worth dreaming
This life is made for y'all
Now listen to me for I am right
This is the country
Where we all say howdy
And throw the word y'all
Like it ain't meant for over yonder
Where we all know how to bait a hook
And The Bible is our only book
Bring your shotguns
For we are going hunting
Bring your fishing poles
For we are going fishing
And don't worry about not using the word ain't
For over here it is very much alive
Just like our folks
This tree is really beautiful
Just close your eyes
And let the wind through you.

Oh how I wish I was warned
And maybe I wouldn't be so darned
To believe that happiness last
And maybe my heart wouldn't be in a cast
Forevers are a lie
And feelings die
But people keep moving
While others are barely coping
Some see the light
And others are in a fright
Oh how I wish I could turn back time
But maybe it wouldn't be worth a dime
But my feelings would of been spared
And I wouldn't be so scarred
Oh how I wish I could turn back the clock
And make my wall a higher block
This isn't worth the pain
But I feel everything in vain
I don't know which is worse
To get knocked off a horse
Or to let you in
Because I know I won't win
Happiness is nothing but a let on
And I have been torn a ton
If you were to tell me you wanted to stay
I would say okay
Oh how I wish I was warned
Because I am already darned.

I close my eyes, but sleep won't come
What have I become?
I am a stranger
My thoughts, I cannot wrangle
I lie awake, staring at the celing
The next day, I am dreading
Why can't I just look like her?
These thoughts I ponder
Oh, how I wish they would disappear over yonder
But they just keep coming back
You see, "beauty" is what I lack
I am not beautiful
Nor wonderful
I always compare myself to others
But I don't even know why I bother
Wasting my time
Won't make me a dime
But here I am staring at the ceiling
These tears roaming
In the dark
I feel like a piece of bark
Ripped from a tree
I can never just be thee
I can never just be happy
For all I am is ******
But don't worry y'all
This ain't gonna be the last time I fall.

I grew up my whole life never knowing what true love was
Until I experienced it myself
I said I hated him before he was born
More responsibility for me
My grades dipped
But with every feeding
He would stare at me
As if I were the most beautiful girl ever
He would laugh and smile
I slowly started to fall in love with him
This is not like every other love story
He has peed on me many times
I've had to clean up his throw up
Nobody said this was going to be sweet
He blows all his boogers on my t-shirt
He burps in my face
But when I hold him
I like to put my hand on his heart
And feel every beat
I like to trace the contours on his face
I like to feel his body heat late at night when I can't sleep
He takes up most of the bed
But he'll wake up at midnight
I take him to ***
I crawl back into my bed
I fall asleep with an angel
I have developed a relationship with my baby brother
He calls me **** nugget
Thought I feel like his proud mommy
He runs to me when I come home
I try and hug him tightly
I want to be able to remember his boyish scent of dirt and salt
Of all people, I couldn't live without him
I now know what love is
Now I pray to God
For my safe return
That my baby brother will grow up free and happy.

Why is it that we tell girls to hide their bodies
While the boy's harmones rage free?
Why is it taught to not get *****
Rather than don't ****?
Why do we have to open doors for the ladies
When the man's hands are full?
Just open doors for everyone
Why is a girl seen as a possession
Rather than a human being?
Why must a girl's face be covered?
Because some stupid society said so?
This world is *******.
Let me tell you a little something...
Everyone bleeds red
Everyone breathes oxygen
Everyone is a child of God
Everyone has a heart
Why must we be so sexist?

If you look up to Heaven
You will see the Angels
They are jumping from cloud to cloud
They are happy
A rainbow always kissing the sky
If you look down below
You will see the Fallen Angels
They are jumping from pit to pit
They are unhappy
A thunderstorm always fighting the lightning
If you look around you
You will see Beautiful, Misguided Angels
They are jumping from good to evil and evil to good
They are emotionally confused
A thunderstorm always followed by a rainbow.

She's the type of girl that will say no to clubbing
She's the type of girl that would rather stay home
She's the type of girl that stays up all night
She likes being alone
She smiles at words on a page
She's in a trace
She's laughs wholeheartedly
And sheds a tear at something that tugged on her heartstring
She can't hear anyone
Her mind, soul, and heart are dreaming
She's in her own wonderland
Where everything is possible
And nothing is impossible
She has fallen in love with a fictional character
She dreams of one day owning her own bookstore
She wishes to stop time
And to stay forever in her books
She reads to long
She longs to read
With each word she's moved
She is no longer here
She is an another world
Where everything is alright
Where the roses are beautiful
The coffee sweet
The birds chirping
A rainbow always out
Nothing but smiles
And sweet kisses
She's only a hand away
But her soul is far gone
She's addicted to reading
She just doesn't know when to stop
But she never dreams of it
This is her escape
From the cruelty that is life
She can't see no evil
She can't hear no evil
She can't do no evil
She is an angel
With a cup of coffee on the lamp stand
A blanket wrapped around her
Sitting affront of the fireplace
Rocking back and forth
A beautiful, lively book in hand
Stacks and stacks of more books
Sprawled on the floor
Little snowflakes falling from Heaven
like sweet little kisses that flutter throughout your body
She is a reader
She is the girl that hides behind her books.