People always ask me:
What do you want to be
when you grow up?
I reply:
A boss.
People already say,
I'm bossy as hell
and maybe that's why,
I get called a *****,
but I wear that crown:
like a ******* queen.

Hope is an imaginary pile of *******.

I feel alone
like I have
no place
to call mine.
I do not
belong.
Everywhere
I go,
there are
familiar faces
with unknowing
smiles and
lying lips.
I am just
a walking figure,
no one notices me.
I am so alone
in a sea full
of people.
I am stuck
in my own head
wishing to escape
but no one notices.
I scream into
the abyss
hoping someone
will hear
but I am
lonely.
Slowly sinking
into a mass of
depression and
heartbreak.

I deserve
every ounce
of torture
inflicted
upon me.

There are some
moments
in life
that will
stay with us
forever,
that will
never cease
to evaporate
from our
memories
and I knew
when I locked
eyes with him
my hand resting
in his that I would
never forget
his ocean blue
eyes which I
drowned in
only to resurface
struck with
forbidden feelings
of love and
infatuation
I will never
forget him.

I hate feeling
I wish I could turn it off
Emotions will ****
Flooding in
Unwelcoming
But persistent.
I really wish
I was stone and
cold hearted
as they claim
I am.

I have spent
far too much
time alone.
My thoughts
are creeping in
my everyday
routine.
How can I
silence them?
pretend like they
aren't mine.

I wish I could fly
into the moonlight
only the moon to kiss
as the stars look on
and the sun weeps.

My body is weak and limp
I may put on a facade
But I am vulnerable
I cannot hold my own
Though I try.
Just for once
I want someone to care
And hold me
To know I'm
Anything but okay
As my body shakes
And trembles
With the demons
Trying to escape
But I must sustain them
Lest the world know
The truth.

I like to contemplate
the very existence
of all foundations
until I wonder
my purpose,
if there is one
or was I a mere mistake
of a sandstorm
formed without authority
from a breath of fire
with icy, cold hands
eyes as coal
with no glint of humane.

I grew up too fast
never knowing what
it's like to live free
I'm a teen
who is young
but I have
a foot in the grave
why do I feel so old?
my prison guards
won't let me go
in fear I'll ***** up
in their ways
like they did
when can I go?
I sit here
wishing to be gone
wishing to be alone
wishing to be free
when are they gonna realize
I am not them
I wish I could make mistakes
fall and bleed
until my lungs fail
I am being watched
by the spectators
never being unchained
I am not them
yet, they fear I will be
their burdens and mistakes
are mine to carry
in fault I just might
I can't wait to run away
with their heads to the side
and never look back
I just want some space
to be free and think
******* freedom
is all I ask.

Tears won't come
so I write
to let them go
I'm stone cold
never to be felt again
I wish to run away
because I do not want to die
just yet.
When will my life begin?

Everyone says Karma is a *****
but no one dares name reality
for in itself, the devil lies
with traps and snares
ready to imprison us
of our youth and dreams.

Everyone is screaming my name
Voices, voices
Screaming and yelling
I must go help them
Find shore.
Now I scream,
but they've all gone.

I try to drown out the pain
but I feel in vain
When is it gonna go away
My life is nothing but gray
I can't go on.

I dream of running into the night sky
No one to see me
Or where I've gone
No traceable footprints
No way to feel me
When night creeps along.
I dream of disappearing
No one to know me
Or my name.
I dream of never looking back
to familiar faces
of the past.
I just want to run away and be free
Like the night wind.

I dream of flying away
Like a mockingbird
Light and free.

I dream of being happy
Like the wind
Light and free.

I dream of being beautiful
Like a dandelion
Light and free.

I dream of being light and free.
I dream, I dream
But I am living in the
Depths of reality
Waves drowning me in
I can't see the shore from underwater...
I can't breathe,
But,
I dream.

I wish I could contemplate
I wish I could think
I would I could breathe
I wish I could inhale
I wish I were alone and well.

I've had to grow up
An age too young
I wasn't ready
There is no ceremony
One night,
You go to sleep a child
Young and innocent
The next morning,
You're forced to grow up.
I place the needs of others
Before myself
I stare in the mirror
I no longer bare an identity
I have lost myself in the night
I will never be okay.

Do you ever feel
Like a cigarette ****
Left on the ground
Already used and forgotten?

My whole life has been
Me taking care of someone else
For once,
I just want someone to care.

You were brought
Into this world
By a mere deal
Life to breathe
Until you die.

My heart aches at the thought of you
I crumble into a million pieces within myself
Not because you were an ex that I let slip away from my grasp
But because you are a story untold
My crush of 2 years
How I yearn for you to be mine
But I know that will never happen
I am too afraid of rejection
And you barely notice me
I write a million love poems
And people ask me if I'm in love
Without hesitation, your smile appears inside my mind
A secret well within my heart
You are my treasure and I will always like you
You are the boy I let slip away
But know, that every love poem is of us.

You son of a gun
You left me crying in the rain
My revenge is gonna burn
I'm gonna come at 2 am
When you're sound asleep
I'm gonna set that pretty little truck on fire
Gonna watch it burn away my tears
Gonna watch it turn to ashes
Burning away our memories
I'm gonna make you pay the price
For breaking my heart
You son of a gun
You said you loved me
I guess it was all a lie
Nothing but a little game
That cost you your pretty little truck
I guess your daddy never warned you
About girls like me
'*** we don't put up with your crap
We won't waste any more tears
We're just gonna watch 'em blow away
Like your pretty little truck turning to dust
You son of a gun
You left me crying in the rain
And now you don't have a pretty little truck.

Watch it burn!

Everything I touch shatters
It breaks without repair
Never to be restored
Forever a scar within
A remnant of my presence
I am not good for anything
I am a destroyer.

I try my hardest to fake a smile
I can't let her come out
She threatens my very existence
She is toxic to my lungs and poison to my heart
She is always lurking in the depths of my darkest thoughts
I can't let her win or it's my life on the line
When she takes control,
My heart turns cold
My thoughts turn suicidal
I start to tell myself I'm better off dead
All I do is destroy and break
I was a mistake
I think of what life would be if I were dead
And I smile
There is a monster within me
I beg of her to come out
To put me out of my misery
But she likes to play my lungs.

Look within the drunken poet's heart
Notice the missing stanzas
The lines that were too unbearable
To write and relive.

Look within the drunken poet's heart
Their memories are slowly fading in
Reeling in the abandoned feelings
Then releasing them back in the creek.

Look within the drunken poet's heart
The many paths they have stumbled
Trying to forget, trying to hang on
Writing to numb the pain.

Look within the drunken poet's heart
Their dreams and desires just a poem away
Trying to escape the past by living in the future
Their hearts dreaming away.

Look within the drunken poet's heart
Don't break them or you'll just be another poem
A poet really knows how to love you warm
They know what it's like to hurt and love.

There is a tornado within me
Stealing my breath and polluting my lungs
My emotions raging like a wildfire
Destroying everything in its path
Leaving mass destruction and hate
Ash filling the once beautiful lively field
That was my heart and soul
Rain falling from my sad closed eyes
Enough to drown me and envelop me
A thunderstorm logged in my throat
Threatening to escape and bark
I have to keep it together
I cannot let you see me fall against myself
So all you see is the sunshine
The bird's chirps escaping my lips
Sweet talking about love and happiness
I am afloat on a soft white pillow
But sometimes my cloud changes color
It roars and a storm is released
A flood rushing in to drown my emotions
This is anger and sorrow
Like hot and cold when it forms a tornado
Giving anger a cigarette
A puff of smoke to release it all
Giving anger a bottle of whiskey
A shot to drown it all
I try and contain my thunderous emotions
But sometimes a sob escapes wanting more
I try and fake a smile to lead you on that everything is okay
But sometimes my thoughts curl around my heart
I am a whirlwind of emotions released and contained
I will let you see my happiest thoughts and memories
I will spread them like dandelion seeds
But there is a closed and caged door that no one knows about
All the haunting and horrifying thoughts and emotions
I will always hide and contain the demons.