-  My mind is racing, jarred with confusion and I'm scared to speak a word. A low, soft whimper parts from my lips, yet the sound remains unheard.
-  My heart thrums almost unnoticed and warily, at a slow and trudging pace. The tears housed within my heart threatening to spill over as I'm filled with memories of the sweet kisses that you once brushed upon my face.
-  Was I wrong in thinking we had a love that would never weaken or fade away? Now my soul weeps for you with recalling the pain that you endured from me each day.
-  My deepest desire is to love you until death do us part but that corrupting pange of guilt remains ever still within my heart.
-  Even though now you are gone, I can't convince myself to completely let you go...so many things were left unsaid, so many things I wanted you to know.
-  I'm can't pretend to not hide myself in vast pools of tears and unfair as it seems, I only had with you, a few short years.
-  I'm sorry I failed so completely to show you the depths of my love. I'll never be able to ready myself for being alone but I will never give up.
-  I want to have you to blossom and age with, here along side me. Give me that chance to show you that the best, is far from yet to be.
-  Until then, hold dear those sacred memories we keep locked within our heart, always graciously cherish them, never let them dwindle apart.  -  I'm sorry that I ever hurt you and looking back, I know that I was wrong but please remember, that even I some times stumble and am now burdening the guilt of doing you wrong.
-  Will you one day again take my hand, walk me through this, show me what to do? I know you've many doubts and I'm sorry for that, too.     - Maybe in this lifetime, you'll believe that my love and intentions are true and that what I'm bearing of my heart to you now is reserved for none other than you.

-  There's no more normalcy, no peace at all. My world crumbled at my feet that morning I got the call.

-  I was just waking up, beginning my day. My phone rang early and I listened in shock to what she had to say.

-  She asked me if I knew you and it hit me right then - you'd been taken from me, I'd never see you again.

-  I stood frozen in disbelief, trying to convince myself it wasn't be true. Aloud, I spoke to you as if you were there, "tell me what happened. What did you do?"

-  My knees went weak, I shook uncontrollably and began to fall. Upon the floor I now lay with a more empty feeling than I can ever recall.

-  My tears fell freely like that of pouring rain. Nothing I've experienced in this lifetime could ever compare to the pain.

-  Words cannot describe how I felt in that time and place. How I yearned to hug you again, to just see your face....

-   Looking back now, it's been years since that day. I've still and yet, to find a way.
An easier way to cope without you here. At least I have our memories and next to my heart, I hold them dear.

At times I know it can seem, that things don't go our way. We grit our teeth, we bite our tongue and hold things in that we want to say. 
- These are the times we get upset, maybe even mad. We get discouraged, down and out and some times we feel sad. 
- Giving up may feel right, as we bow our head to cry. We can be left with empty emotions and we start to wonder why. 
- " Why do I feel so unimportant? Why do I feel this way? Why do I feel so hollow inside when I've got so much to say? 
- Did my actions leave me here? If so, how can I get out? Who do I turn to for answers? Do I ask or scream and shout? 
- Can someone give me answers to what I seek so hard to know? Please? I'm reaching out to you so I can make these feelings go". 
- I don't have all your answers but this much I can say - I'm reaching out to you as well and we're going to make it through this day. 
- Tomorrow mornings sun holds a day that is brand new and all your sorrows combined will never be greater than my love for you!

Sleepless nights, a wandering pen; clashing of dawn and daylights end. 
Swarming thoughts, a weakening mass. Strength is lessened as time is passed. 
Pale expression, deserted stare. Feeling plenty yet, with nothing to share. 
Listless day, followed by hollow night. A yearning upon my fingertips, with no embrace in sight. 
The demand, the hunger, to fill this space with a needing for that safe embrace. 
** A cradle that will forever clutch me tight and remove the restlessness from my night.

Flecks of white, tumbling down, a sheer of dust atop the ground. 
- The wildlife once about, scurried to be tucked away, as shortly following daylight, winter permits the day. 
- Birds still flock above, on their journey to warmer state; pausing only a moment to catch regroup, the weather will not wait. 
- A blanket of powder adorning, all within the sight; bringing a curious sense of childlike excitement- this presentation of snowy delight!

Eyes of striking beauty, possessing a fixed hypnotic venom. Entrancing they are as there is a difficulty of looking away, of not swimming within their depths- they hold firm. 
Majestically imperial ornaments, impossible to be suited or even complemented yet, this treasure's price is less than worthless in it's carrying of the inability to truly love. Even a heart of the boldest of golds, can be far from pure. 
Less than careless regard for emotion, displaying manners so set, so "carved in stone," the ******* of steel with ones bare hands could easier be fathomed. 
Coincide well, do the plagues- emptiness, loneliness, the most solitary of confinements. Hearts now flustered, upon being tossed about on a singular accord. So it seems, nothing lost, for there is magnificent, splendid beauty to behold. Let this also soon be a lesson- nor can anything be gained. Beauty can be deceiving and venom holds the capability of death.

Luminous hours sunder, as dusk aligns in. Gratis spirits straggle, suiting night tides begin. 
In advance of shadows, the alleys and crowd, essences now jaunting, lusts for patent aloud. 
Burly rolling wisps, perspiration- ample the air, this lightless ness with breaths fleetly, as if no occasion to spare. 
Clamor of sunlight brio, slothful it will rid- exposing variant entity, that past tense once stored hid. 
Hearths now resolved, daintily so aglow- the incense of their remainder, marrying breezes that blow. 
Swaddled in their contentment, the innocent dream away, as nightfall concludes it's end to commence a brand new day.

Rise sun, oh brightest star of them all. Take pity on the weary, for your power, intense heat, your consistancy, can be exhausting; bringing high climaxes, and sweat upon ones brow, often times showing no mercy. 
Cast yourself upon open fields, across plains of flat and plateau, through cracks amongest thickets of trees, seeping through even the most thick, skies of grey. 
Bringing energy to life, or retracting your right, your presence-well known. The abundance of your will can not go unrecognized nor unseen. 
Stream upon vast skies, susceptible to your suited liking. Over baring can your harshest of ill moods be. 
At days end, peek of dusk, at last you retreat to offer the beauty, the calm serenity of your moon. Greatful for your splendor, but welcoming the moonlight- your relief, brief rest from your consistant, sometimes sweltering offerings. 
**You shall rest once more upon my shoulders day next and speak again of your bold admissions for all to recall.

Harsh today is the sunrise, basking in the sky. Mindless, heavy emotion- the lofty weight forcing this tear upon my eye. 
- An empty hearted haze, this day will prove to be. Aimless wandering about, a soul weeping to be free. 
- Dejected faces of plentitude, plastered against my skin. Solitude now proving heavier, than in a lifetime it's ever been. 
- Bearing the burden of muchness, exuding to the bone. Oneness now projected, contriving to be alone. 
- Hollow core in the light of day with dimness inching in- bringing a forceful **** to sundown, so that I may tomorrow, begin again.

What a somber life. One with no feeling, regard or even good will at all. Stepping not over the cracks, instead treading upon them; yet, you're left with many gaps that can never be filled. 
- An empty conscience, a cold, careless heart with plaguing feelings of darkness and certainly countless times of often loneliness and disposition with your own being. You cope in silence as misery's finest company. 
- Sleepless nights, thoughtless, unfeeling stares and gazes - a walking, empty mass you are in the hours of the sun, with no intentions of ever confessing to your own shortcomings - what a thorn in your side must your own existence be!

On your next outward travel, scrutinize everything around. Note lunacy among men, the smell, the sound. 
Behold with your own eyes, this worlds revamp to Hell. With no benevolence to govern, it seems just as well. 
Camaraderie fabricating infrastructure for one to pillage, deceive and lie. Even seemingly sound minds, are out for their piece of the pie. 
Falsification of higher beings with approval to harm or even **** and disappointedly enough, it's asserted as free will. 
There's said still to be humanity, just waiting to be found but don't set prospect too high, for others live for your mockery the moment you're down. 
Do we settle for desolation? Simply secure the strife? Be cautious of righteous decisions, it's a bitter sweet life!!

No more tears in streams, like that of pouring rain. Instead, a heart of stone like structure, with a numbness to the pain. 
- Life will make a shift, here and there a turn. Be swift to learn from a lesson, for fire precedes the burn! 
- Remain nimble on your feet, accept heartache as lesser pride. Remain true to your own solidity, put all hasty feelings aside. 
- This life is accompanied by downfalls and the hardest lessons of the sort. So, don't exhaust yourself trying to change what you can't, you'll end up selling yourself short!

Songs of evening crickets, people swiftly moving along to their desired destination. The harsh sun retreats, at last presenting mercy on a sweltering day. What once was merely a shadow in the light, turns to complete darkness as the sun briefly retires it's shift.
- The stars, the moon, they emerge from the persistent covering of lighter skies and white "over stuffed", clouds. All the world seems settled at this moment in time. A consoling inner peace at the thoughts of a mother tucking her child safely, warmly into bed or a father reciting a bedtime story to, what so seemingly, is the apple of his eye. 
- Mother Nature's compassionate, nurturing components seem visible on this night and more so as the lightest, most aromatic of breezes sweep the hair from my face. The salutations of the moonlight awaken even the most secluded of treetops, darkest of meadows, pastures and fields. 
- Calm serenity is not at all a burden, instead, a waning by the night. This atmosphere, it wraps it's mass around me, invites me into it's core. My skin, my thoughts, my presence as a being, are one with this night - I fully embrace it. I am interlaced with it's entirety, it's presence. I am mysteriously drawn to the majestic powers of it's seemingly, maternal comfort.

A shimmer, a sort of twinkling within his eyes...it tells tales of a life well known to hardship, to him, a life hardly worth filling. He remains bound, imprisoned, cemented in a desolate dwelling, an existence that seems well beyond my outreach to assist him from the monstrous anomalies that besiege him. 
- Round dark, dingy street corners, he is familiar with people and places that burden consistent clouds of tempest atop their heads. Mingling still, he has self awareness that he belongs amidst this rigid, unwilling to set a soul free, hell. 
- He takes, steals from me as he does with many others...still, a malevolence of my own towards him is absent; for I empathize with where he is constrained. I know all too well the harboring feelings and am so very familiar with the breath taking grasps and strong holds of such a seemingly minuscule substance. I can coincide wholly, with his existing agony.....

What a beautiful summer night with breezes soft to blow. Flickering stars above, one of natures finest shows. 
- The tune of crickets in the background, weaving with the night. The smell of fresh air, taking it in- this beauty without the lights. 
- Across vast lawn, through moist grass and to the edge of wood, moonlight peers down from up above. Natures mood tonight, seemingly good. 
- Close your eyes, inhale deeply, be taken in by this night...fall away, succumb to this exclusive beauty and let your spirit take it's flight.

You tiptoe on eggshells to keep from slipping through the crack. Times have changed, life is mean... I'd give almost anything to take it all back. 
- You erase and delete your own memories after sailing through your day. It's wrenching to me from the inside out, to know you live this way. 
- You've learned to be so resilient, so grown up, wise and bold. I'm aware of the hell you're facing and also aware of the hell untold. 
- You're ridiculed for nothing more than simply being you. You hide, unseen, tucked away. What else are you to do? 
- You're wandering about, lost and left with hopes of being found. You're trying hard to keep your head up, while picking your knees up off the ground. 
- The types of thoughts that run through your head, others have no clue. You grasp the good that occasionally comes your way, for blessings seem so few. 
- Time drags on slowly as you wish it would hence fast. Stand tall with your head above the water and this will all soon be past!

I know sometimes things seem hard and life can seem unfair. At times you may feel alone, as if there's no one around to care. 
- You put your best foot forward, give it your hardest try. Yet, at the end of the day you're so discouraged, as you wipe the teardrop from your eye. 
- At times you may feel alone, as if no one at all can see...you're making the best with what you have, to be all that you can be. 
- Your days may seem very dim, with no promise of any light. No progression to smiling faces, as your hope fades from sight. 
- I know this is how you feel. This person once was me, but take my hand, let's walk together. There's something I want you to see. 
- Look how far you've come and gotten. Look how much you've grown. Things will ease with each passing day. Just promise me you'll keep holding on!

In every wake I'm awakened, I venture an aimless path and this life is getting old. 
- A hollow mass I can barely fill. Fortune does NOT favor the bold. 
- Praying for forgiveness before turning in each night...an opportunity, just one more chance to again make things right. 
- Once a life in the palm of a hand, seeming gently to be held...but with realization of current mishaps, again it's fulfillment failed. 
- A boundless void more painful, than any eye can see. Yearning for belonging, my placement that now, only used to be.

Doors aligned in a so-called neighborly fashion, adorning tags consistent with a numerical or chronological order. 
- Comers and goers are the brief possessors of these doors with numbers- their insides seemingly locked tight within. 
- Few and far between, familiarities tend to be noticed among these passers through...perhaps being held within a name or even a face. More often than not, these drifters seem as if to be blown by the wind, most likely never again to cross paths with your own. 
- The hours of slumber and wake amidst this dwelling are various and sundry...could suppose it's dependent upon a schedule or perhaps a routine. 
- Whether accommodating a lengthy occupation or just swiftly passing through, there is certain to be another with your likeness .....a familiar stranger among these arranged doors with numbers.

If I had a dime, for every time, your sweet face crossed my mind...I'd never again be without and my life would be rich, I haven't a doubt! 
If I was given a penny, I'd have plenty, for the times you saved me and didn't even know, my pockets would be lined, heavy and full - I'd have so many to show! 
If I was offered a nickel for every smile you put on my face, nothing could compare, those nickels would take first place! 
If I possessed a quarter for every day I'm proud to be your mother, all the world's quarters would belong to me, I'd have more silver than any other! 
If I could give my every dollar to prove my love for you is true, I'd never have enough money but I'm happier just loving you!

A well known, "hole in the wall," kind of place. The thin door is my only separation from the outside world. The traffic that can be heard never ceases, at least not for long. 
Common drapery, common commodities, colors of common upon the walls slowly become more visable with the sun's new again arrival and the chattering amongst those nearby awakens. 
The sun now lazily ascends atop the horizons and with it, the induction of life again as it's a brand new day. 
Consistent commotion and shuffling to and fro, in and out, serve almost as if an invitation or reminder that my participation and appearance are now due. 
Though repetitive and much more common than, "just so," my seclusion inside these walls allows an almost comforting confinement, my own solitude and oneness. 
If only these walls could talk - adventures and misadventures alike would likely be told of the passers through here... but this simple, square room has never a story to tell nor a word to utter. Instead, a mere stripping and changing of linens and an always anticipated arrival for the next brief possessor of it's common adoption

Treetops whistle and sway, rustling leaves across the frigid earth. Sunlight - sparse and spotty as patches of clouds sail the sky above, determining the placement of shadows. 
A clear view between the pines and across the lawn, tell of the season, even through just a quick window glance. Deceiving can this quarter be, with frequent sunshine of plenty but often paired with wind chilling to the bone, having more than a simple harsh temperament. 
Much liked stroll abouts and meanderings are not taken so often, as being weathered in such an extensive mannerism, may not be gentle nor always pleasant. 
The ground crackling beneath footsteps. Passing scents of fiery warmth. Bundles of clothing atop layers of clothing outfitting scurrying folk. 
** Where shall I pass my day? Amidst the tranquil familiarity of my own space? Or perhaps over a temperature appropriate cup of joe, harboring the corner table at the local coffee shop?? I'm sure to be found, in either place, lost in daydreams while pondering over my own thoughts. If your aim to seek companionship is successful, your company joining mine, would be most gratifying...

Every night at about this time, I wonder where you are. Close to me? Miles away? You'll always seem too far. 
- You're the thought on my mind, the smile upon my face, the wind that gives me breath. To me, you're more than worth fighting for and I'll fight till I've nothing left. 
- Though life has thrown another curve and tried to keep us apart, I'll pause my time to make things right , you're the beating of my heart. 
- Rest your head, sleep tight, be assured in every way - I'll never give up until you're here with me, you can count upon the day!

Wild thoughts, they run through my head, like a monster unleashing, that hasn't been fed. 
Image after image, flash after flash, a pain in my stomach like a gaping ****. 
Shaking, nervous and numb to the bone, swiftly arising is the feeling of being alone. 
A dreadful thing that disrupts my nights. It engulfs my body as if I'd signed up my own rights. 
Overbearing darkness with not a single sound. Franticly I search for an exit but it's nowhere to be found. 
Weeping and trying to hide, I'm scared of it all then, slowly I depart and begin to fall....Clinching my fists, I give in to sleep, telling no one my secrets, for they are mine to keep!

Roses are red. Violets are blue. You're my heartbeat. Oh yes, it's true! 
Some daisies may be pink, while leaves may be green. Our love is stronger than any other I've ever seen! 
Some sands are yellow. The sun- often times gold. My eternal connection to you could never properly be told! 
Dirt can be brown, the clouds- some times white....the thought of your mere existence makes my heart light! ♡♡ 
So...those roses may be red and those violets may be blue but there isn't a color deep enough to describe my love for you!!!

Tussled speculations of many. I wonder - what could they be? 
Scarring looks of plenty, the conclusion - it's obviously me. 
Reasoning with probable cause and lack of present graces, the cause of unsettling silence and spiteful, dismal faces. 
Massive gaps of distance, set in place by stone. A once communion eviscerating as division's presence is shown. 
Words intentionally unspoken, the silence too maddening to bear- ******* slowly broken, leaving not even remnants to share. 
Visible aches and empty hurt, proving difficult to hide. 
Longing questions within my eyes, as I witness how "we died." 
Now, too far gone for wishful thinking or pleading on bended knee. It was never really worth fighting for, as I now so plainly see.

Sleepless nights, a wandering pen; clashing of dawn and daylights end. 
Swallowed by thoughts, a weakening mass. Strength is lessened as time is passed. 
Empty expressions with a deserted stare. Feeling plenty, yet with nothing to share. 
Listless days, preceding hollow night. A fulfillment teases my fingertips - no possible grasp in sight. 
The demand, the hunger, to fill this space; a calling, a yearning for that safe embrace. 
A cradle that will forever clutch me tight and remove this restlessness from my night.

I am in need of affection, diligence, the feel of warm skin next to mine. My body aches for a caress that hold me drawn. 
My mind, my heart- they spiel to me in the clearest of tones yet, my fulfillment remains lacked. 
A beautiful piece of flesh, so forthcoming is laid at and upon my feet. This beautiful, seemingly angelic being is the crave, the lust, that my body is so constantly reminded of and I prepare myself eagerly for my void may at last be filled. 
The purest and softest of slight wisps upon skin contact and a kiss that spirals my inner and outer most beings to euphoric heights, is now and finally present. 
This intimacy- bliss to my soul and even the very ***** of my souls possession. My yearning is subsided as I willingly succumb; openly accept and take avail to this flesh, this life before me. 
Feeling as a sunrise, upon the earliest of dawn for no lacked fulfillment exists within me, as now our peeks have been matched. This allurement is most welcomed with the promise of leaving my body and soul subsided with gratification.

A sky of velvet black beholding sparkling jewels gleaming within it's grasp. 
These orbs so beautifully aglow, emit their brilliance throughout the rich, vast sky. 
These mesmerizing splendors are paired with an ever so light, crisp wind that gently grazes the hair on the nape of my neck as it presents a renewed air... 
Adoration is eminsely felt amidst this evening as I relish the astonishing ellegance being disbursed from the grand showcase here tonight. 
Just beyond the wood line, I hear the faint rippling of water - a calm, subtle flow. Mingling with it are the choruses of crickets, the songs of frogs, the slight rustling of tree tops and the owl in the distance who also announces it's presence. 
The delicate wind carries an aromatic country aroma...that of wild roses, dewy earth and trees of pine. The mixture envelopes my presence from the inside out as I fill my lungs with a clean breath. 
There is such a peaceful, serene tranquillity that graces the atmosphere on this eve as there is not a sound to be heard but those of mother nature. 
Closing my eyes, I drift into the most serene feeling that I've ever experienced in my existence. Thank you, mother nature, for sharing this extraordinary evening with me.....

Hell's Wrath
There's a proper time for pointing a finger, as well as for placing the blame. Feelings now spewing beyond the surface, due to fulfillment of promises that never came. 
You dismissed your word to change, to love and always give. Instead it's been replaced with spite and our love now ceases to live. 
Muscles tensing, uncontrollable shaking, my heart begins to race. I hear voices speaking to me loudly, delivering warning to firmly brace. 
Hells' wrath approaching fiercely, slinging viscious tide. I've no place to safely escape, not even a corner to hide. 
Anger released in violence, intensity beyond profound. My eyes are tightly shut and I make not a single sound. 
Hell hath arrived earlier, than my misjudged guess at first- a bead of sweat from above falls onto my face, as I prepare myself for the worst....

Misleading Face
The very thought in the forefront of my mind, the heaviness within my heart. Never could I have prepared myself for the day that we would part. 
You are my first and last thought, when I'm awake, and when I sleep- all the seconds between have swallowed me whole, as all I can do is weep. 
When I am again alone, I discard this misleading, happy face....and freely, I'll shed my tears, mourning your displace. 
I must prove myself strong or at least pretend to show it but only while filling this earthly existence and I'll see you before you know it...