A grainy film, in shades of gray,
Where shadows dance and lovers sway.
The air is thick with smoke and sin,
As midnight calls, we both give in.

You looked at me with reckless eyes,
Like secrets hidden in the skies.
A kiss, a whisper, soft and slow,
But underneath, we both should know.

We laughed beneath a starless sky,
Where silver ghosts and dreams had died.
The frame was cracked, the focus blurred,
Yet in the silence, truth was stirred.

The reel spins fast, the cuts too sharp,
A promise lost in shadows' arc.
The aperture of love had closed,
Exposing all we never chose.

But then you turned, the truth was clear,
A plot twist I had always feared.
In the black-and-white, our colors bled,
Now I’m the one left lost instead.

The credits roll, but you're not here,
A fade to black, I disappear.
The film is over, all that's left,
Is me alone with love's regret.

The battle in my mind rages loud
and on the outside I'm calm,
but really there's no one around
and so into depression I fall

the silence is eerie where I sit,
in limbo with the love and hate
one side so deserving of one to commit
the other longing for a dreadful fate

there is nothing left to be done or said
no words to help heal the heart
when you live a life at war with yourself
and call your chaos an art

The weight of the void pulls me deep,
a temptation I can’t seem to outlast.
The only solace I find is in sleep
bound by the nightmares of my past.

It starts with an itch beneath the skin,
silence breaking deep within.
No warning alarm, no dying hymns
just pressure building at the brim.

My past hangs heavy, rough and tight,
a suit of scale that dims the light.
But growth is cruel; it splits, it rips,
and leaves you naked to your tips.

I scrape along the jagged stone,
each twist a crack, each breath my own.
rendering a new me with changes inside,
the façade I wore, my pains died.

While I'm raw in this new guise,
I'm rising with sharper, clearer eyes.
For loss is gain when change begins,
like a serpent I'm freed from dying within.

I packed for love or so I thought,
With truths I wore and the lies you brought.
A threadbare trust in a dress of grace,
Your smile tucked into the velvet case.

Hidden deep beneath the seams,
Were ghosts that danced amongst my dreams.
Each one a whisper soft and low,
A secret you thought I'd never know.

A kiss that strayed, a veiled excuse,
A promise made and then cut loose.
You folded guilt in woven lies
And tucked it snug under alibis.

They stir each time I try to sleep,
A weight I carry, buried deep.
They follow close, like silent hosts
I'm bearing a suitcase full of ghost.

Now every step I feel the drag,
the silent weight, like a tattered flag.
No zipper shuts them in too tight,
I'm haunted still by morning light.

I feel so tired,
I feel so alone,
and yet in this life
it's all I've ever known.

Darkness looms within my mind
Eating up all of my insides
All good things come to an end
But what happens when they never began?

Am I stuck in limbo
Forever in this war
Do I even know myself?
Just a shell of who I was before.

Committing to everything is all that I want,
but the guilt living in my head is what haunts
I seem in the moment to be able to forget
all the good things that live within my head.

I know there will come a time when I will make that choice
but do I try to make forever last or do I fall into the void?

When everything is loud the mind goes silent
but never in the way one would like it
The race is so overwhelming it's now just a hum
The hands are steady but the mind grows numb
Eager to please unsteady to rise
Constant exhaustion from boundaries pushed aside.
Anger held down suppressed in the void
Feelings inundate, set up to destroy.

Our desires were chalk lines and strawberry wine,
A beautiful disaster lost somewhere in time.
Yellow tape fluttered where promises bled,
Broken glass glimmered like the words left unsaid.

Lipstick stained bottles tipped over the past,
Your hands left their mark, and Gods, did they last.
Velvet night violence hits sweetly under covers,
Choking the life out like an aggravated lover.

I wore my heartbreak like a diamond-cut jewels,
Dancing through wreckage addicted to you; like a fool.
You left me for dead in the heat of your crime;
But darling, destruction was truly sublime.

We just keep moving, like clouds on parade,
Silk in the breeze, then we slowly fade.
Life keeps turning, the records still play,
But my heart’s stuck in that old café.

It felt so good, it still feels right;
Two shadows dancing in the neon light.
We’re not together, but love still stays,
Haunting my lips in a thousand ways.

I still wear your name like a perfume trail,
Whispers sweet like a mourning gale.
Your ghost shows up when the moon is high,
Speaking your truth through supple lies.

They say love’s forever or it fades away,
But I’m still hoping you’ll call someday.
It hurts, it burns, but I won’t let go;
Some loves just linger, like fallen snow.

I see you, love, in passing light,
A mirror image kept in the night.
Our glances dance, but never stay
Keeping your world a breath away.

You can’t be different; you're too near,
A mirror soul that draws me here.
Two stars adrift, but you're the sun
Making the shadows come undone.

We walk like lines that never bend,
Strangers still, but not the end.
If we could break the veil unseen,
Imagine how divine we’d be.

Velvet drapes of indigo hue,
hid the wreckage staged by you.
Golden spotlights, heavy lies,
Scripted kisses and practiced sighs.

The balcony held ghostly cheers
Haunted by memories of yester-year.
Your love, a scene of sweet deceit,
A rose left dying at my feet.

Final bow with trembling grace,
The curtains fall and so does my face.
Applause rang out; our final run,
Curtains drawn, and hearts undone.

At my gate the shadows shimmer,
Amber leaves dance in the dusk
That west coast wind cuts like liquor,
And love still tastes like rust.

Lovers drift down boulevards,
Mixed amongst dreams and wine,
But I lean against the neon,
Still stuck in another time.

Oh, I never shook those crystal eyes,
They're ghosts in every stare
I ache for arms that held me tight,
back when forever lived there.

As I smoke beneath the streetlight
thinking we burned too young.
The moon won't say a **** thing,
But I'm still chained to us.

There’s a spell in the blood and salt in the air,
A curse in the kiss and a ghost in the stare.
Born of midnight, veiled in flame,
Running from silence, dancing with shame.

Hands crafting herb blends with care,
Trying to live like the magic’s not there.
But love’s not gentle when it's marked by fate,
It doesn't knock, it doesn’t wait.

One wandered far where the wild winds wail,
Drunk on danger with fire on every trail.
Bound by blood and bound by bone,
Even in distance, never alone.

They buried the past in roots and stone,
But darkness listens and makes itself known.
What you hide in the soil will rise in the mist,
A ghost in the room, a bruise on the wrist.

The storm arrived in a circle of hands,
A reckoning danced through the salt-strewn sands.
And from the ashes, a truth they smiled,
One saying you keep me safe.
One saying You keep me wild.

Now the wind sings through the garden gate,
No longer bound by fear or fate.
Love is not cursed; it’s just beguiled
By witches who's craft are both safe and wild.

The sky breaks open just for me,
A cloud that follows silently.
While strangers laugh in sunlit grace,
I drown beneath a sweet disgrace.

Their shoes stay dry, their faces glow,
While I’m in a forecast of sleet and snow.
Rivers run down my cheeks,
A storm too tender, soft, and weak.

I’m dancing slow in this old dress of mine,
While they sip on dreams as smooth as red wine.
A wispy sigh, a constant flow of fears:
No one sees the thunder here.

Umbrellas lift in hands not mine,
So chilled, I feel the ache every time.
This rainfall is stitched into my skin,
A war I lost, a hell I’m in.

While they stay dry and look away,
I’ll glisten here in dark disarray
So let it pour, I’ll play the part,
A walking storm with a well meaning heart.

In a world where time bends like light through a prism,
three colors met entwined in perfect rhythm.
A crimson spark, bold and untamed.
A violet mix amongst the dark,
And midnight blue the sky does make.
A love that dances through endless nights
Turns out; perfect is found within this life.

They touched in whispers and heart's desires.
A painted fate brushed in fire.
No start, no end, just dreams that mend,
A canvas vast, where hues all blend.

One lifetime red, burned bright and wild,
the muse, the fire, the reckless child.
Another twilight, violet blends red,
steady hands shared where lost hearts dread.
And when the world would turn to blue,
he'd hold them close as he'd always do.

Three colors woven together never torn,
A trifecta spun in fate's design,
No lines to break, no end of time.
For love like this does not decay,
it bends the light, it shapes the way.

I’ve got you buried in my blood like wine,
A slow addiction I can’t leave alone.
You kiss my soul, then blur the signs,
A twisted love hitting down in my bones.
I tried to run, but always come back home,
Your voice, a lullaby I can’t ignore.
Lighting a cigarette and set the tone;
I ache for things that hurt me more.
They say I’m cursed, they say I should let go,
But I would trade my peace to feel you near.
Your name’s a prayer that I still whisper low,
Even when ghosts of you are all I hear.

In winter’s grip, I lost my way,
A frozen heart, a sky of gray.
But deep beneath the ice and stone,
A quiet strength began to grow.

Then spring arrived on softened ground,
With buds of hope and birdsong sounds.
I bloomed in colors I’d never known,
From pain; a brighter self was sown.

The summer sun lit up my face,
I danced with joy in open space.
With every heatwave, storm, and breeze,
I learned to love with deeper ease.

And autumn breathed, “Let go" with grace,
Some dreams were never yours to chase.
In golden loss, I found my truth,
There’s beauty in outgrowing youth.

Even storms that split my skies
Left clearer light behind goodbyes.
Through every turn, between sky and sea,
The seasons shape the soul of me.

Cherry stained lips in the heat of July,
dripping sweet nothings like peach colored wine.
He called me his sugar, his muse, his flame,
but summer's a dream that won't ever remain.

Lemon light kisses strewn in my hair
his hands are on my hips and pulling me there.
He tasted like heat waves and strawberry sins,
a charm so alluring he ****** me right in.

Now the orchard is quiet the nectar runs dry,
the vines are all empty, silently I cry.
If I close my eyes I can still taste the past,
sweet like a promise and too golden to last.

Love walked backward from the shore,
its footprints swallowed by the tide,
no farewell, no final roar,
just silence where it did reside.

It kissed the rocks with embrace,
then slipped beneath the grayest hue,
pulling the warmth from every place,
where once our laughter grew.

I stood, a beacon dim and worn,
as all we were slipped out to sea.
The tide withdrew what I had sworn
to hold; then left the wreck of me.

Now in the hush of every wave,
I hear the ghost of what we knew.
Love drifts the way the ocean wanes,
not all at once, but true and through.

I play roulette with every thought,
Spinning chambers I forgot.
Mirror demons sip my tears,
Whisper vices in my ears.

Will it be the blade of blame,
Or pills pressed down with sweeter shame?
A noose of pearls, a kiss of lead,
Which love song will I die with? My dread.

Velvet chains or drowning gin,
Sapphire lies or suffering’s din.
Every shadow takes its turn,
To light the match and watch me burn.

Choose your weapon, take the stage,
Beauty bleeding out of rage.
Gold-tipped sorrow, silk regret…
Darling death, we haven’t danced yet.

I curled in your love like a larva,
blind to the cage I was in.
You fed me sweet lies like nectar,
and I bloomed with the rot from within.

Spun myself in silk-built silence,
a tomb dressed up as a dream.
Your voice was a lullaby;
soft, slow, and serpentine underneath.

In darkness I shed who I was,
each memory molted and torn.
My bones turned to lace in the silence,
and my sorrow grew wings to be born.

Now I rise in the hush of the after,
light pouring through every vein.
What once broke me now blooms beneath me;
I'm a monarch born from the flame.

I feel like I'm drowning and everyone's just there to watch, no one knows what's going on and in my head its just the countdown of a ticking clock.
There’s a rhythm that pulses in the heart of the blues,
Where losing’s expected, and failure’s the muse.
No voices respond when I’m crying for aid,
Just me in the deep, aching for land with each hit of a wave.
There's no way to hear a cry for help, I'm treading water trying to find a way to save myself.
The current consumes me, it’s pulling me down,
I try to speak truth but I choke on the sound.
Where do I start when the pain’s been for years,
When hopes turn to silence and love turns to sneers.
Success became my shortfall, failure being what I've known, another brick in the wall, its just me and my demons all alone.

Here I am again in a room of haze,
Eyes lost in a lover’s maze.
Back in the smoke, where the silence bleeds,
Lipstick smeared on old misdeeds.

Here I go again, searchin’ the crowd,
Hopin’ your face might call me out loud.
But I know the truth I try to outrun,
One look at you and I come undone.

I touch a flame, pretend it’s love,
Kissing the pain I'm always thinking of.
Holding me close, I play the part,
There's no one like you breaking my cursed heart.

Now I haunt the places we once knew,
Red dress, cold stare, and a phantom view.
They all see smoke, and never came;
You were the bullet, but I took the blame.

I was born in the wrong era, they say, but my daydreams are filled with a decade I crave.
Rocket fins and martini moons,
Vinyl songs filling pastel rooms.

I ache for a future never had,
Where the sold utopian from magazine ads
Bubble helmets and atomic rings,
Hope stitched in all suburban things.

Anemoia takes me there, like lovers meeting in midair.
Where housewives dressed up wearing lipstick smiles, oh what I'd give to stay there awhile.

I long for a time I never knew,
To have a retro love with a space age view.
So dress me up in future past,
Where promises were made to last.

And even if they crack with time
Let me pretend for a moment it was mine.
Take me back Where heart beat to a sci-fi tune
And tomorrow glows under a paper moon.

I'm a daydreamer, a drifter, lost in despair,
Writing love songs through fog that's filling the air.
Smoke in my lungs I'm lost in the haze
it helps blend together the darkest of days.

Kissing this wine just to numb the sting
Everything was a lie and now I'm an angel without wings.
Through mascara tears with a soul laid bare
I realized hell doesn't want me, and heaven never cared.

With a revolver, I'm here tongue in cheek
Pretty when tragic, divine when I'm weak.
Pour me another, let the bottle confess,
All of my sins leave me undressed.

Moonlight's my witness and the night knows my name,
Beauty and madness are one in the same.
Light up my sins and watch them consume,
The scent is morose like heartbreak’s perfume

I'm a daydreamer, broken and scared,
My life’s a nightmare, like chaos without cares.
I'm in a reverie moving too fast,
Sh*t luck future and dirt covered past.

Can you see what's in a crystal ball?
Are you seeing the problems in time?
It seems as though the time has come to call,
Or is it all a reflection of your mind?

The stars don’t whisper, they only repeat,
Beware the fears you plant in the soil of fate.
You blame the moon when you feel defeat,
But darling, you decide the weight.

Your shadows dance in tarot spreads,
A queen reversed, a dream delayed.
But maybe the voice that you hear in your head
Is just the truth of which you are most afraid?

The magic was never in the charm,
Or spells you spoke beneath the trees.
It’s in your voice, your beating heart;
The power is always yours to seize.

So don’t ask the crystal what’s ahead,
The future listens to your choice.
Break the curse of doubt instead,
And speak your want with a fearless voice.

A dearest kiss I long to conjure
A love I wish I didn't ponder
What do you do when love turns to shame?
When the lies turn into a stolen fate.
With your heart hidden and shunned
I learned your manipulation was the part of the club
I wish I didn't miss the taste of your lies,
but a love like yours withers and dies.
I just wanted love, I was blinded by you
With rose colored glasses, not thinking things through.
To think this is our parting makes me sad.
I thought we had other plans.
Illness had taken you long before me,
Now I just sit here with a hole inside of me.
All I wanted was a love that stayed,
But I danced too close to the masquerade.
Without rose-colored glasses and no regrets,
I kissed your ghost and paid my debts.

I took the fall for a love so fierce,
Each word you spoke, a needle pierced.
A fever dream I drink just to stay afloat.
Midnight thoughts rising through the smoke.
You haunt like jazz on an empty street,
Vivid shadows where danger meets.
But pain felt holy with your hands wrapped around my throat.
Baby there's a poison in my system and you're the antidote

Your love was a cage,
and you were wrapped in bows and deceit,
Amazing how soft were your lies
with lips tasting sweet.
You moved like a panther in lavender dusk,
Sinister shadows draped in love and lust.

I was the fawn in your high-thread-count lair,
You covered me with perfume and silver-tongued care.
I now call it the hunt, but you called it romance.
I had all of the dreams, but the ruins were planned.

The silk of your voice was a lullaby shared,
But danger dripped slowly from your holding stare.
You purred out excuses in delicate prose,
And now you taunt the heartbreak in my vintage clothes.

The claws never showed, just the gold in your grin,
But I bleed in silence while you relieve me of skin.
You prowled through my soul with a hungering grace,
Sinister beauty shrouding an angel’s disgrace..

So I ran through the fog,
Through the moon’s silver moan,
Found truth in the wild where I now dance alone.
An astounding escape from your palace of pain
I'm left in the wreckage, forgetting your name.

I found a bottle on the shore,
Sealed with wax and midnight lore,
Inside, a letter wrapped in lace,
My past life's tears in cursive grace.

"Dear future me," the ink began,
"Still chasing ghosts in sinking sand?
Did your dreams survive the mind wars,
Or did you lock it, slam the door?"

She warned of boys with eyes like flame,
Of hidden hearts that play the games,
Of dancing too close to the edge of the moon,
And humming heartbreak far too soon.

“Don’t trade your soul for carousel lights,
Don’t marry silence, it bites at night.
Keep a bit of the youthful air of innocence
It adds to your confidence.”

I read it twice swirling with the tide,
That bottle shook with every line
I’ve told myself to make it through,
But she knew me, and I knew you.

So I wrote her back in ocean ink,
Let my thoughts drift as I think:
“We lived in ruins, kissed like crime,
But ****, we danced so well through time.”

And so I let that bottle drift away,
To find the girl I used to play,
Before the bruises turned to art,
And we forgot the shape of heart.

The mirror shows a hidden face,
A shadow trapped, I can't erase.
Whispers echo down the hall;
Why do you plan for my fall?

Mirror, mirror, cruel and kind,
You know the secrets I try to hide.
Lock them up and forget the key,
Mysteries staying between you and me.

A thousand years behind the glass,
I watch the future, mourn the past.
The girl I was, the ones I’ll be;
They linger here, looking back at me.

Mirror, mirror, cold and wide,
You hold the tears I’ve tried to hide.
I see her there - she looks like me,
A girl I lost to memory.

Life is an experiment
Thrown into tubes of trial and error,
I’m the unwilling subject
While fate plays the cruel investor.

I’m drowning in data,
My heartbeat on display,
The crowd takes notes on my failures,
Then shrugs and walks away.

Am I the subject or the science?
The poison or the cure?
Each variable feels endless,
And I’m never quite sure.

But still, I’ll chart the chaos,
I’ll make a graph of scars,
And crown my flaws with galaxies,
That look like scattered stars.

Because even unwilling testers
Leave fingerprints in ink,
And maybe my broken theories
Will teach the world to think.

I feel like I'm drowning and everyone is just there to watch,
in my head its just the countdown of a ticking clock.
There’s a rhythm that pulses in the heart of the blues,
Where losing’s expected, and failure’s the muse.
No voices respond when I’m crying for aid,
Just me in the deep, aching for land with each hit of a wave.
There's no way to hear a cry for help,
I'm treading water trying to find a way to save myself.
The current consumes me, it’s pulling me down,
I try to speak truth but I choke on the sound.
Where do I start when the pain’s been for years,
When hopes turn to silence and love turns to sneers.
Success became my shortfall, failure being what I've known,
another brick in the wall, its just me and my demons all alone.

A hallway of mirrors, endless and cold,
Where love’s reflection bends and breaks,
Each step a memory, bought and sold,
The pieces of us that time forsakes.

The glass distorts, my face in tears,
A smile that fades, then comes again,
I walk through moments, lost in years,
Where every joy is prefaced by men.

You whisper softly from a distant frame,
But your voice is just a fleeting sound,
Our love’s a song that’s lost its name,
A record spinning round and round.

The glass reflects a broken face,
Eyes that once shone, now cold and thin,
I walk in circles lost in space,
Trapped in the places you’ve never been.

The hallway stretches, never fun,
Mirrors repeat what we've become,
Distorted truths, no place to run,
Forever trapped in what's undone.

The mirrors stretch, no light, no grace,
Repeating all that's been done and said,
A love that left without a trace,
leaving only shadows in my head.

Pride is a mirror, fractured in the storm,
Humility a quiet stream where softer shapes are born.
Envy climbs the ivy walls with jealous, reaching hands,
While Kindness scatters petals wide, across the broken lands.

Wrath is lightning in my chest, a drumbeat without end,
But Patience threads the hours slow, a message stuck on send.
Gluttony devours the night, a mouth too full of flame,
Yet Temperance restores the air, a balance in the game.

Lust moves like wildfire, waxy heat against the skin,
While Chastity is porcelain, unmarked by where I’ve been.
Greed clutches silver shadows, hoarding what will fade,
But Charity gives freely, like the light the moon has made.

Sloth lays heavy on the ground, a weight the earth can feel,
While Diligence keeps marching on, her footsteps forged in steel.
I walk between them trembling, their voices in my spine,
A body full of shadows where I'm torn in two sides.

A dearest kiss I long to conjure
A love I wish I didn't ponder
What do you do when love turns to shame?
When the lies turn into a stolen fate.
With your heart hidden and shunned
I learned your manipulation was the part of the club
I wish I didn't miss the taste of your lies,
but a love like yours withers and dies.
I just wanted love, I was blinded by you
With rose colored glasses, not thinking things through.
To think this is our parting makes me sad.
I thought we had other plans.
Illness had taken you long before me,
Now I just sit here with a hole inside of me.
All I wanted was a love that stayed,
But I danced too close to the masquerade.
Without rose-colored glasses and no regrets,
I kissed your ghost and paid my debts.

If they would ask me,
I’d write a secret summer track
About the way you move to slow jams;
Revolving soft like a vinyl spin,
Eyes have me lost,
like a strong glass of gin.

I’d pen the bridge in twilight ink,
How we met when the stars began to sink.
A moment too pretty to forget,
Laced in smoke and steamy silhouettes.

The secret’s simple and stitched in lace:
It’s just that I love you
Through all of space.
And when the world's ending light is discerned,
The galaxy will learn
How two phantoms loved and burned.

The compass spins beneath your touch,
A trembling needle, sweet but wrong.
North fades away, craving too much,
South humming your name in foreign song.

Your laughter drips like melting wax,
Stinging my skin, I let it scream.
We kiss in rooms where shadows pass,
And call it love when it’s just greed.

The path curves on, the stars look pale,
Each sign we pass is written twice.
Your hand is warm, your stories stale,
But I still gamble on the dice.

If stars were mine, I’d spend them fast,
On one more kiss, slow-motioned and true.
But darling, broken glass cuts deep at last,
And still my heart points back to you.