I feel like I'm drowning and everyone is just there to watch,
in my head its just the countdown of a ticking clock.
There’s a rhythm that pulses in the heart of the blues,
Where losing’s expected, and failure’s the muse.
No voices respond when I’m crying for aid,
Just me in the deep, aching for land with each hit of a wave.
There's no way to hear a cry for help,
I'm treading water trying to find a way to save myself.
The current consumes me, it’s pulling me down,
I try to speak truth but I choke on the sound.
Where do I start when the pain’s been for years,
When hopes turn to silence and love turns to sneers.
Success became my shortfall, failure being what I've known,
another brick in the wall, its just me and my demons all alone.

A dearest kiss I long to conjure
A love I wish I didn't ponder
What do you do when love turns to shame?
When the lies turn into a stolen fate.
With your heart hidden and shunned
I learned your manipulation was the part of the club
I wish I didn't miss the taste of your lies,
but a love like yours withers and dies.
I just wanted love, I was blinded by you
With rose colored glasses, not thinking things through.
To think this is our parting makes me sad.
I thought we had other plans.
Illness had taken you long before me,
Now I just sit here with a hole inside of me.
All I wanted was a love that stayed,
But I danced too close to the masquerade.
Without rose-colored glasses and no regrets,
I kissed your ghost and paid my debts.

I was born in the wrong era, they say, but my daydreams are filled with a decade I crave.
Rocket fins and martini moons,
Vinyl songs filling pastel rooms.

I ache for a future never had,
Where the sold utopian from magazine ads
Bubble helmets and atomic rings,
Hope stitched in all suburban things.

Anemoia takes me there, like lovers meeting in midair.
Where housewives dressed up wearing lipstick smiles, oh what I'd give to stay there awhile.

I long for a time I never knew,
To have a retro love with a space age view.
So dress me up in future past,
Where promises were made to last.

And even if they crack with time
Let me pretend for a moment it was mine.
Take me back Where heart beat to a sci-fi tune
And tomorrow glows under a paper moon.

I feel like I'm drowning and everyone's just there to watch, no one knows what's going on and in my head its just the countdown of a ticking clock.
There’s a rhythm that pulses in the heart of the blues,
Where losing’s expected, and failure’s the muse.
No voices respond when I’m crying for aid,
Just me in the deep, aching for land with each hit of a wave.
There's no way to hear a cry for help, I'm treading water trying to find a way to save myself.
The current consumes me, it’s pulling me down,
I try to speak truth but I choke on the sound.
Where do I start when the pain’s been for years,
When hopes turn to silence and love turns to sneers.
Success became my shortfall, failure being what I've known, another brick in the wall, its just me and my demons all alone.

I wore a veil under the shroud of night,
Laced in stars and candlelight.
Perfume thick with sins I crave,
Picking flowers for my grave.

Lust bloomed first in crimson wine,
Dripping down lips that once were mine.
Gluttony, a sugared rose,
Fed me dreams of overdose.

Greed grew gold on every stem,
But nothing's ever enough for them.
Sloth laid lilacs on my chest:
Soft and slow, so I took my rest.

Wrath was thorns beneath my lace,
Love turned bitter, sweetness erased.
Envy wrapped in ivy vines,
Choked the breath from me, blurring the lines.

And Pride, that peacock-colored bloom,
Adorned me for my walk to doom.
With every petal, every sigh,
I walked the aisle and said my goodbyes.

A bouquet bound with satin thread,
For vows I whispered to the dead.
And as the bells softly weep for my demise
I smiled and remind, "Death will be my bride."

You think it’s magic,
like I was born with glitter in my veins,
You chase the shine,
but darling, envy leaves a darker stain.

Your life's a script with no direction,
a plotless play, a sad distraction.
You sneer at me from shadowed seats,
but I’m the show; the main attraction.

The lights adore me,
my heels are power on this stage,
While you sit there bitter,
burning with a secondhand rage.

You crave the crown,
but couldn’t stand the weight,
So here you pout,
a hater dressed in stolen fate.

Applause rains down like sweet seduction,
while you dissolve in self-destruction.
Watching from the balcony tonight
you’ll never reach this kind of high.

You live in the distance where day loses name,
Where the ocean forgets who it’s trying to blame.
I loved you like longing, like dusk loves the sea,
Like the girl in the doorway you swore you would be.

You were velvet and static, a half-finished song,
Beautiful, broken, and gone far too long.
I traced you through dark times and through smoke-colored skies,
Through motel confessions and television lies.

I begged you to anchor, to stay in the light,
But your heart beat in shadows, in cold neon nights.
You kissed like the promise of something brand new,
But vanished each time that I got close to you.

And loving you felt like chasing the line
Where the heavens get drunk and forget how to shine.
You live in the place I can never quite reach;
Where the tide pulls back and the sirens preach.

So I dress in my silence, in roses and blue,
Staring out past the world, still waiting for you.
But the truth is a shore that I can't step across...
The horizon won’t hold me, and for now you're lost.