I am Kara Jean
A ******* stressful thing
My heart is sweet
My exterior is bitter coating
I like screaming publicly "tell me what to do!"
The universe yells back "*******!"
I try to dry my cheeks before my mascara burns my eyes
Dried,
like my soul from all my mistakes
Getting what you want is a ******* fight
Challenges seem to grasp me tight
So ****** I'm ready for this disfunctional ride
I've been training my whole life

Sitting in my bathroom sink contemplating late 20's
I hear my heart filled with responsbility
Giggles as barbies splash by
The smiles make me reach for the sky
Then the realness hits
The dream was never thick
I awake standing in black shoveling fries, asking if I can add anything else to that
The passer bys say, "atleast you have your beauty"
Beauty doesn't pay the bills unless you put it up for bid
I could say **** this and quietly move aside
Instead I'll swallow my pride
Tell myself a lie,
"One day I will hold my head high"
For now I smell the salt as I continue to shovel fries

Strength is interpreted wrong in the thought procces of the ones who feel weak
In actuality we should be embracing the unique
Thank god for what we see
Forgive ourselves for the guilt stuck inside our bodies
We have a  fire built deep for a reason
A purpose alluring
Everyone is looking for that belief
I just follow the energy
It seems to always be calling
Spoken word never seemed so bleak

What the **** am I doing with my life
There is no gain
Would you like a large fry with that pain
Thanks, come again
She seems miserable and glowing
Contoured on smile
Forcing her to be happy
Counter tops seem befitting tonight
God, I lost my light
Life seems to strip you naked
Bare and thin, it's always in
Lust will **** you dry
Leaving you asking why
She sweats smudged transgressions
He pushes deeper in
His ****** tension draws her sin
She never was meant to win

"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"

Twenty-six
What a **** mess
Kisses hugs with grubby little hands
Manners and crayons
No sleep and working
Trying to follow the chase for something we all crave
Hypocritically misbehaving
The money seems disgusting
Yet makes others smile while holding it tightly
We breed we try to succeed
What does it all mean
Beats me
I'm only twenty-six
I know nothing
Paper and pen scrape up my hand
Bruises hidden and blended in
No words of admiration or advice
Just listen to the lost and pretend to be found
Isn't that what makes the world go around