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When I looked up at the endless night,  
Stars twinkled like secrets whispered low,  
I asked the heavens, “Where’s the light?  
If God is real, where did you go?”  
In my heart a storm was brewing,  
A tempest of love turned bitter and wild,  
For in those dark moments I felt so alone,  
With blood on my hands and a heart defiled.  

You were my anchor; you were my grace,  
But addiction wrapped you in chains of despair,  
Each promise made now lost in the space—  
Where laughter once danced hangs silence and air.    
“You said blood is thicker,” but water ran dry,  
As I clung to memories that splintered like glass;  
I fought through the shadows with tears in my eyes,    
Wishing for moments that slipped through time’s grasp.  

Oh how I wish I had fought even harder!  
To keep you beside me when darkness would creep;    
But strength turned to weakness as hope grew fainter—    
Each day without you feels buried too deep.    
You were my home—a refuge from storms,    
Yet somewhere along our journey we strayed;    
Now I'm just a doll in your tempestuous arms—    
A slave to your whims as your spirit decayed.  

Every night by the stars I still plead and implore:    
“Where are you now?” as I wait for a sign;    
Each heartbeat echoes what once was before—    
Our laughter entwined like soft tendrils of vine.    
How can love vanish into shadows so stark?      
I long for closure but find only pain;    
What solace exists when light fails to spark?      
My soul feels tethered by sorrow's cruel chain.    

So if God is watching from some distant place,    
Does He see this struggle that tears me apart?      
Does He know how it feels to be lost without grace—      
To miss all the pieces that made up our heart?      
In starry whispers where dreams fade away,      
I search for comfort in celestial seas;      
And though you're gone now—still haunting each day—        
I’ll hold onto love with trembling pleas.    

For though you've chosen those demons above,      
The bond that we forged can never be torn;      
And while every moment grows heavy with loss—        
I’ll find a way forward till new dreams are born.        
Maybe someday I'll let go of this fight—        
Perhaps find forgiveness within twilight's embrace;        
But until then I'll gaze at the stars shining bright—        
And ask them for solace in this silent space.
Sorry about how long this poem is, I'll try to make it shorter next time!
Dec 3 · 235
softball fundraiser
I'm doing a fundraiser for my softball team and if you want to help out please Venmo to here " @Bridget-Wagner-6 " it would help a lot thank you😁
Nov 26 · 30
Cuts people don't see
In crowded rooms, I wander free,
A sea of faces pass me by,
Yet, I'm alone, lost at sea,
My soul drowning, unable to deny.

I grasp for relief, a fleeting reprieve,
With every cut, a scream I try to leave,
But like autumn leaves, emotions fall away,
And I'm left with nothing but disarray.

Seasons change, and I wear a grin,
A mask that hides the emptiness within,
The laughter echoes, hollow and unkind,
Longing for feelings I've left behind.

I call out to a higher power above,
Praying for solace, for endless love,
To ease this pain that gnaws inside,
To guide me through life's ebb and tide.

Day by day, I search for an escape,
From this weight that presses down, a constant ache,
But words spoken by others, though kind and true,
Are lost on me, like whispers anew.

Their meaning shrouded, unclear and gray,
Leaves me bewildered, night and day,
I sit alone, with only my thoughts to bear,
And wonder why I'm trapped in this empty air.

Head shaking, with each word unspoken,
Screams silenced, my heart forever broken,
Still, I hold on to hope's thin thread,
And pray someday, I'll find my way ahead.
Nov 24 · 77
Feelings that I hide
I feel my skin burning with the fire of your gaze
Every time you look at me, I'm lost in a daze
I can't breathe, my chest tightens with desire
But I know I have to hide it, pretend I'm not on fire

I want to vanish from your sight, disappear without a trace
I don a mask to hide my true feelings, to save face
I can't bear to show you the wounds you've inflicted
The scars you've left with your harsh words, so conflicted

You don't see the pain you've caused, the damage done
You only see what you want to see, not the hurt I've spun
I keep my distance, keep my emotions in check
But every time you're near, my resolve is a wreck

I try to push you away, to forget the way you make me feel
But deep down, I know the truth, my heart you've sealed
I'll keep wearing my mask, hiding my scars from you
But deep down, I know the truth, my feelings are true
Nov 22 · 47
Lies
I tried to move past the lies you left in your stay
But they lingered in my mind, refusing to fade away
You promised me forever, but it was all just a game
Leaving me stranded in a sea of heartache and pain

I thought I could forget you, erase you from my heart
But your memory haunts me, tearing me apart
I tried to bury the love we once shared
But it resurfaces, leaving me ensnared

I left knowing I would never love again
Wounded by your deceit, my heart filled with disdain
I thought I could find solace in a new embrace
But your betrayal still leaves a bitter taste

I tried to move on, to find peace within myself
But your lies echo in my thoughts, like a relentless bell
I search for closure, for a way to heal
But the wounds you left behind refuse to seal

I know I must let go, release you from my soul
But your ghost still lingers, refusing to let go
I tried to move past the lies you left in your stay
But the scars you left will never truly fade away.
Nov 21 · 48
Would you remember me?
In whispers soft where shadows play,  
I ponder if I could fade away.  
Would the world halt, would time stand still,  
A silent void where dreams once filled?  

Would anyone notice, a fleeting trace,  
Of a spirit once woven into this space?  
Would they speak my name with a tender sigh,  
Or let the echoes fade, as time flutters by?  

Beneath the earth where the cold winds moan,  
Would my story linger, or be left alone?  
Would the flowers bloom, or wilt in despair,  
For the heart that was brave, now scattered in air?  

Regrets like whispers in the night,  
Would they haunt my thoughts, or fade from sight?  
Could I find peace in the quiet undoing,  
Or suffer still, in this silent brewing?  

Even in passing, would pain take its toll,  
As my essence drifts from body and soul?  
In the kiss of the wind, would I learn to fly,  
Or remain intertwined with the questions nearby?  

So I ponder the balance of living and loss,  
In the realm of the souls, no matter the cost.  
For in every heartbeat, in every breath drawn,  
Resides the light of both dusk and dawn.
I'm sorry my poems are kinda depressing, this is the only way to get my feelings on paper.
Nov 21 · 38
Love is a game
When love comes around, it dances in play,  
A game of hide and seek, in bright hues of gray.  
It whispers in shadows, a fleeting embrace,  
Yet slips through your fingers, a delicate trace.  

Like lightning in summer, it sparks with a glow,  
But often it vanishes, a soft, gentle woe.  
In laughter it lingers, in silence it dwells,  
A mystery wrapped in unspoken spells.  

You chase after dreams that shimmer like stars,  
But love’s gentle touch is behind fragile bars.  
It teases the heart with its intricate game,  
A puzzle of feelings, always the same.  

Though you may not hold it, and you cannot see,  
In the depths of your spirit, it's wild and it's free.  
So when love comes around, let it spin you about,  
For in its sweet journey, there's no room for doubt.
Nov 21 · 131
Night of tears
In the silence of the night, my eyelids close,  
Yet shadows creep and in darkness, they impose.  
Dreams shift like smoke, a haunting parade,  
Whispers of the past in memories replayed.  

You slip through my fingers, a phantom in the night,  
A flicker of hope lost in the fading light.  
I reach for your essence, but you drift away,  
A wisp of nostalgia, just beyond the fray.  

Tears fall like rain, a storm in my soul,  
Anger and sorrow take their toll.  
With you by my side, I could find a way,  
To trust in a world that led me astray.  

But here in this darkness, I'm left all alone,  
A heart full of longing, a mind overthrown.  
If only you'd linger, if only you'd stay,  
Together we’d face the dawn of a new day.
Nov 21 · 50
Changing myself
In a crowd where no one sees,  
I stand beneath the weight of stares,  
Like a shadow in a gallery,  
A canvas painted with their fears.  

A heart, vibrant but hidden deep,  
Layered beneath the surface bright,  
Knowing the echoes that cut and seep,  
Through the silence of a lonely night.  

I wear a mask of smiles and jest,  
Laughing off the pain I feel,  
Risking trust, a daily test,  
In a world where wounds remain concealed.  

I bend my soul to fit their mold,  
Changing colors to blend in line,  
With every compromise, I feel less bold,  
Yearning for a love that’s truly mine.  

When the rain falls, my tears align,  
A mingling of sorrow, a soft refrain,  
But in the depths, a hope will shine,  
For one who sees me beyond the pain.  

To be embraced for every flaw,  
To find a heart that understands,  
A hand in mine, without a flaw,  
A promise in the shifting sands.  

So I’ll keep searching through the haze,  
For that rare soul who holds the key,  
To shatter glass and end the maze,  
And love me wholly, just for me.
In the shadow of a fading day,  
Where whispers linger, lost in the fray,  
I gather fragments, pieces of light,  
Searching for meaning in the heart of the night.  

Ghosts of laughter echo through trees,  
The wind carries secrets, a gentle tease,  
Yet silence, a shroud, holds tight to my breath,  
As I dance with the specters of love and of death.  

Beneath the surface where colors drain,  
I walk through memories, both joy and pain,  
A tether to moments that slip through my hands,  
Like grains of soft sand on forgotten sands.  

What does it mean to feel the weight,  
Of sorrow and joy intertwined by fate?  
In darkness I wander, in light I may roam,  
Seeking the warmth of a heart once called home.  

And in the stillness, a question remains,  
Do words hold power when wrapped in chains?  
If apologies echo in absence and void,  
What’s left of the heart when all love is destroyed?  

So here I stand, on the edge of this fall,  
Searching for solace in the midst of it all,  
With each breath I take and each tear I release,  
I’ll find my own way to that fragile peace.
Nov 20 · 47
puzzle of life
Life is a puzzle
A puzzle of time taking
Filled with confusing shapes
Beautiful when done
Hard when starting
Worthwhile when you are almost there
My heart speaks into a mirror
Seeing the regrets that has been made
Choosing not to speak its mind to
The problems that’s been saved.
Im a moving piece that doesn't know where to stay
Feeling lost in the sea of my feelings, trauma, thoughts
Not knowing where to belong
feeling not wanted
Drowning in my sorrows
Seeing love ones come and go as i sit alone
I scream but nothing comes out
mouth is taped closed knowing no one wants to hear or see me
Being thrown away by the very person i loved
the love turned into hate in a flash
Thinking someone will find me but years pass finding im alone
Thoughts raced through the very brain I fear
Life is a puzzle that I wish to end

— The End —