I have been choking on these words for months now. I am sorry for what I am about to say, and I hope you find it somewhere in your heart to forgive me someday. There is no reason for me to leave except for the constant longing for me to be on my own. And I want you to know that I would not be who I am today without the love and support that came from you. You've helped build me up from an awkward 16 year old girl, to a strong, independent young woman. I am so sorry for telling you that I loved you long after I knew that it was a lie. I am sorry for not being honest with you earlier, there is no denying that I am a coward. If there is anything in this world I could change I would fall in love with you again and again because there is no one I have met who has treated me as well as you. When I came back to you I wanted to love you so badly that I started to convince myself. I don't know when I fell out of love, but I'm not even sure I ever fell in love with you. Knowing that I am breaking your heart with every word that I write creates a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes so I need you to know that this is not easy for me, either. I will always love you, cherish you, and respect you. Know that it is okay to be sad and lost for a little while, but find it in yourself to pick yourself up and move on with your life. You will find someone much better for you than me. I hope that the next girl that you love can love you so fiercely that you forget the sound of my laugh and the way my hair smells. I hope her names fills all of the places where mine currently reside, as long as you think of me from time to time. When you see a girl with shoulder length hair in the corner of Starbucks, or smell Daisy by Marc Jacobs on your waitress as she refills your drink, I hope your mind flickers back to memories of us laughing in your car the summer I turned 17, just for a moment. Promise me that you will not settle for anyone who doesn't take a picture of you any moment she gets. Make sure she encourages you everyday to follow your dreams. Someone who knows you will always choose white sauce over red on your pasta. Someone who makes you laugh and wipes away your tears, someone who is always honest with you even when the truth hurts. You are the most amazing, compassionate and driven human that I have met, and I hope that all of your wildest dreams come true. There is no reason for me to leave, but I have come to terms with the fact that wanting to is enough.