Sometimes in the yawning night,
I hear her voice call out to me,
clutch my sheets and blankets tight
yet drift away in memories
She's followed me throughout my life
I call her Mistress Melancholy

Sometimes, seems like years ago
when lilac and the jasmine played
The tides of love, they ebbed and flowed
Yet Mistress Melancholy stayed
(Just what went wrong,  I still don't know),
But days pass as her perfume fades

Sometimes wonder where it is-
Exactly that I'm supposed to be
But know for sure,  I won't be far
away from Mistress Melancholy

Autumn blows with hints of winter,
Mood descends to match the weather
Sorry I couldn't help you,  and I
Still ain't got my **** together

Spark a stick of nicotine,
And sink into my self-reflecting
Got a whole lot more to say,
And I know it's not what your expecting

Humor wanes,  like crescent moon,
My memory tumbles back to June,
I think of all those promises
That never would be kept

Take 3 deep breaths to clear my mind
Of all the loss I've left behind,
And now I think about it,
Somehow strangely I have never wept
(Yet still I brood on all those
melancholy nights I never slept)

Seems like every time I find
The will to let down my defenses,
Honestly flies out my mouth
Despite my gilded best intentions

Much too late for me to take
Emotions back, and lock them down
I'll flash a wicked rictus grin
Like Pennywise the evil clown

Excavate my rusty hatchet,
Time to chop down olive branches
Tough to slay a dragon for you
Armed with only broken lances

Suffer awful habits as I
Lounge on decomposing laurels
Find myself in crosshairs of
Outrageous Fortune's emptied quarrels

Flick another cancer stick,
Continue with my self-reflection
Yeah, I've still got more to say,
And you might tell from my inflection

Hits a little close to home,
Whose walls are white and stark and bare
I'll whisper to a flirty femme
Who winks at me and twirls her hair

So now I sit and shift my hips
To grind on the lust of another woman
How many months must pass before
I see I was worked up all for nothin'

Lift my eyes from off her thighs
And look into her smiling face
I think I might maintain if I can
Keep the pain in another place

Tossing back tequila shots
To burn on down to blackened thoughts
Why am I unable to cast aside my old emotions?

While flecks of darker memories
Pollute the air in front of me
Never would I even wish erasure
Of the thoughts I've spoken

Maybe I'll just keep on clinging
Hum along with heifer's singing
Crowning list of weaknesses
Is failure to let go

Bob my head, alone, in silence
Midnight flight with no co-pilot
Fearful of the landing
Better shout 'Look Out Below'

Just play my music louder
While I stop to burn the flowers
And I shed my old remembrances
Like caterpillar's skin

Shreds of life streak by in flashes,
Must adjust my rose-hued glasses
Rub my tired, dried out eyes
To block the light and look within

Oh, take me back
to impetuous days,
When I knew how to speak,
and how I should behave
The flowers were fresh,
and the sky smelled so clean
The Earth was alive
as our feet trod the green

Then the sky split asunder,
and the plagues hurtled down
More deafening than thunder
was the clamorous sound
In the blink of an eye,
day had turned into night
And the moon turned blood red,
'twas the devil's delight

Faint for a moment,
then vision returned,
An angel stood by,
asked the lessons I'd learned
I told him of life, love,
and pictures on clay
He held up a scale,
showed my soul didn't weigh

I dropped to my knees,
crushed by guilt and by shame
And fell through the Earth,
towards perpetual flame
I screamed for salvation,
though it was too late
Mere mortals can't flee
from the presence of Fate

Enshrouded by darkness
with no ground below,
weightless,  yet falling
towards God only knows
The air reeks of sulfur,
and the smoke burns the eyes
The ****** fill the air
with their pitiful cries

Panic swept through me,
then gave way to dread
As I witnessed the ranks
of the tormented dead
The truth finally hit me
as they fastened my chains
Eternal damnation
had another soul claimed

Oh take me back
to more innocent days
When the Fey walked the Earth
and magicians amazed
The trees whispered softly,
and the streams babbled on
The rays of the Sun
warm the wind's mournful song

As Nature's finest gold is green,
'Till hindsight glows,  truth stays unseen
Shrouded in some candied lie
Delicious  then,  now noxious sigh
Smoothly first slid past the tongue
Spread to stomach, swiftly stung
(W)retch! the twitching soon subsidies
Nothing new,  now minus pride
Ponder trust, and life inspect
Enlightenment through retrospect

01.28.98

Throw some scraps to patchy strays
For every dog will have his day
Bite the hand that scratches ears
Tickles tummy,  dabs at tears
Pats a ****,  receives a nip
I never rubbed your nose in ****
Lift a leg for all to see
The edges of your territory
Whimper as we scratch our itches
Even males can act like *******
Ears lay back as hackles rise
Wither under angry eyes
Throaty growl with curling lip
Saliva on incisor tip
Mangy curs will cry and whine
Till you get yours and I get mine
Mongrels simper, yap, and bray
And every dog will have his day

I think about the cherubs
and the seraphs I knew yesterday
Whose pinions once were snowy white,
are mottled now,  with cynic' s grey

In youth,  I heard a sage proclaim
"The truth will set you free"
But misperception binds the senses
Ever so efficiently

My back is in the shadows while
I'm facing towards the morning sun
Wish I could replace those squandered
days, and leave mistakes undone

As fruitless as a ripened moon
that hides within a cloudy sky
As gaunt as crows bereft of food,
that turn their beaks to pluck out eyes

While I was sitting all alone,
a fool once said to me,
Careful what you seek,  for truth's
not always what you want to see

My face is in the shadows now,
while back is to the morning light
I contemplate rescinded vows
as angels plummet into night

I think about the cherubs and
the seraphs I knew long ago
Whose withered wings are raven-hued
but used to gleam like fallen snow

Drowning in reflecting pool,
I fall as vision blurs
Shroud myself in liquid cool
and aspirate my bitter words

Crickets chirp on summer night
and shadows cling to me
Stomach ties in tiny knots
from what I know's in store for me

I reached out for a star,
I cupped my hand, and took my turn
but didn't ponder consequence
and wound up getting burned

Like a taste of immortality,
then hearing that you're terminal
The crashing of reality
is somewhere south of wonderful

So give a contribution
of the eyes, unto the seas
Build the wall back, good as new
as dignified composure flees

Close my eyes and sigh away
a sliver of that empty ache
That's spreading like a cancer
through my chest

I think I'll chase the summer South,
hear wisdom from another mouth,
admit I'm now a different kind of mess

Like celebrating life and love
by going to a funeral
Feathers shed from wings of doves
lie somewhere south of wonderful

Plumes of smoke drift idly,
like the chatter in my ears
Signal to the barkeep for
another drink to quell my tears

The sultry glow of neon blue
stains my face and hands
I'd like a drink to deal with life
and all the sorrow it demands

The lipstick-kissed martini glass
by elbow, nearly tips
The girl next-stool laughs drunkly
as she turns to me and licks her lips

Her speech was slurred,
her makeup smeared,
Her breath smelled of vermouth

Right then, I knew
That not one thing
She told me was the truth (and she said)

"You're the best-dressed man that
I've seen wander through that door"
"How 'bout we go back to my place?
-Hey bartender,  mix two more"

I shook my head,  and turned away,
In search of higher class
Nodded to the bartender,
and dropped a five to drain that glass

My gaze cut through the whiskey'd fog
And then my heartbeat stopped
When I spied a lovely blonde
alone, and looking at her watch

I crossed the floor,  and thought "maybe tonight I'll be a man"
Kept on walking when I saw her
14-karat wedding band

The sultry glow of neon blue
Stains my face and hands
I'd like a drink to deal with life
And all the sorrow it demands

Any port in a storm, I say,
so take what you can get
Though tough to see the forest's  trees
when eyes are dripping wet

The edges, somewhat blurry,
and the forms are vaguely seen
While pilfered ends that whisper kisses
justify the means

For sunshine never looked so good,
as when the sky is gray
And all the warmth will stir the torpid
blood, until it fades

And bliss will quickly flee from this
like sparks from lightning's touch
'Neath hopes that never rose too high
but somehow they were still too much

Once Upon a lifetime gone
away, we were so close
The bond we held,  the way I felt,
Or was that just some joke?
I ask this not in guilt or shame,
Nor in depression's throes
I merely am just curious
Now where our bond will go
Will it die, just fade away,
Like whispers in the wind?
Tell me what is on your mind
And all that's kept within
Or is it dead,  am I too late
To keep  our bond alive?
I will rebuild it,  if I must
And sacrifice my foolish pride
Or is it living,  breathing still,  
yet rather not as strong?
Or am I simply chasing dreams,  
With all my visions wrong?
Tell me what is left to do
To resurrect our ties
It's up to us to decipher fate
And see just where it lies

In the fading rays of sunlight,
perched atop a mossy rock
We contemplate the waterfall's
swift surging down the drop
Into an angry greenish pool
like some foul witches  brew,
Whose firelit froth, and boil,  and burn
our unbound, rapt attention drew
With pure, and endless thunderous splash,
like Heaven pouring forth
it's tears for earthbound tragedies,
we venture down,  to drown remorse
Now we stand at water's edge,
transfixed by ceaseless churn
With rumbling in my ears,  I ponder
pros and cons of my return

Drenched in fear,  upon the couch,
Bathed in grayish glow
Watching some old Hitchcock flick,
Or maybe Edgar Poe
Silent breath,  with gaze transfixed -
Captive to the screen
Fingers take a yellow tint,
Glisten with that popcorn sheen
Breathing quickly joins the pulse
Of red-lined piston speed
Pause the flick,  refill your drink,
Continue with the scene
The witching hour births a yawn,
Followed by a stretch
Agile fingers take their cue
Searching for her luscious neck
With lips that hope to follow soon,
And maybe leave a mark
The movie ends,  the credits roll,
And yet,  the room remains as dark

Isn't it funny how
so little effort
can have
such
tremendous
impact

Like sailors, to the siren's song
or moths to candle flame
She speaks, and I am swiftly drawn
within her web of carnal claim

Near certain of the coming course,
too frail to change my fate
Propelled, as if by unseen force -
I make all speed towards her embrace

Listen to the lullaby
of lilting angel's voice
Smashed on rocks in whirlpool's eye
despite my sense, I've made my choice

A single, glowing point of light
with heat like noonday sun
Feelers singed, now blazing bright
a burning kiss, and I succumb

As tongues of fire lick my heart
emotion rules my head
witness dangerous pleasures that start
on paths of moths and Men

Remember when you asked
if I would write another song?
Bet you didn't think I'd wait
til the minute you were gone

Sometimes hate the wisdom
in the lessons that we learn
I may not have a pretty voice
but I will still be heard

Should have listened closer
To the whispers in the wind
Welcomed to another place
and the healing now begins

I've heard that there are reasons
for the things that must occur
Waiting on the wheel to spin,
to win, 'cause it's my turn

But timing's almost everything
and Karma is a *****
I marvel at your ease with love-
you've but to flip that switch

I'll spark a light,  and fill my lungs,
to purge you from my head
The dust had barely settled
when you found another bed

So mask your true intentions
with an altruistic face,
But you ain't foolin' me by sayin'
"I'll give you some space"

The summer of our discontent
had such a hopeful start
Hope he makes you happy,  
then I hope he breaks your heart

If you ever feel that emptiness
from things you failed to keep,
Well baby,  that's on you,
'cause I ain't losing no more sleep

Remember when you asked if I would
write a song for you?
Careful what you wish,  for someday
it just may come true

Maybe on some far off day,
I'll find where I belong
But meantime, let me offer thanks
for helping me write this song

'Cause timing's almost everything
And karma is a *****
Careful what you ask, for someday
you may get your wish

Meet me in Paris,  
at midnight,  in June
We'll laugh at the stars
and we'll dance on the moon

We'll drink in cafés,
and we'll hide from the day
I'll be there, a vision, 
waiting for you

Bliss amid chaos,
the eye of the storm
Touch me like lightning
I've felt this before

We'll cling in the dark,
in a shower of sparks
and kiss with the whisper
of promises sworn

Float down the river
Forget Me Not,
as it tickles The Land
of What If

We'll lie on our backs,
and reflect on the past,
and dream of the life
that we tragically missed

I often remember
that pivotal day,
in that terminal second,
when everything changed

Our choices diverged,
and emotions submerged,
but the love that was hidden
always remained

Surge down the river
Forget Me Not
as it's flooding The Land
of What If

We'll dream of the past
that was stolen too fast,
remember the very first
time that we kissed?

Meet me in Paris,
at midnight in June,
we'll shine like the stars,
and we'll glow like the moon

Where everything seems
like we're chasing our dreams,
I'll be there, I promise,
waiting for you

Meet me in Paris, at midnight, in June