Just Ty: Poems

119 · Apr 2018

Just Ty Apr 2018

I wish I knew what was wrong with me
I wish that I could handle my emotions more responsibly
I wish you could understand what goes on in my head
I wish I could take back all that I said
I wish the world could see how much I try
I wish I knew how to be the good guy
I wish all this pain would just stop and go away
I wish I knew if I would make it another day
I wish that writing all this actually mattered
I wish I didn't relate so much to the mad hatter

Just Ty-

112 · May 2018

Reality

Just Ty May 2018

Reality

Today I pulled my phone out to call you and see how your day was going but then I came to the sad realization that it’s no longer my place to do so.

110 · May 2018

Acceptance

Just Ty May 2018

Acceptance

I have finally accepted that we will never be
It took a while to see it but I can finally see
My eyes are open and my vision is cleared
It is not my fault that you were too scared
Scared to accept that you deserved more
But you were the opposite of all that you swore
You were right in saying that I could do better
I will find someone deserving of my love letters
I pray one day you’ll realize all that you’ve lost
And regret knowing the heart that you tossed
will eventually give all that should of been yours
And that you are to blame for all you’ll endure
I am not wishing you pain that’s not what I want
Just be prepared for our memories to constantly haunt

110 · May 2018

Goodbye

Just Ty May 2018

Goodbye

Today is the day I ask all of you for forgiveness
And apologize to all those whom have to bare witness
To the gruesome scene that is the ****** of my heart
I tried to pick up the pieces but it continues to fall apart
I promise you all I did the best that I could
But no matter what I am made to be the villain constantly misunderstood
Now with my last my few breathes drawing so near
I can say you got what you want as my life disappears
I am sorry to all of those that I am hurting
And to the select few that my pain will be transferring
I just wasn’t strong enough to deal with this **** day to day
I would love nothing more than to be able to stay
I am just so tired of losing it’s becoming to much
Tired of hearing “it’s not you” “maybe next time” it’s becoming too much.
To the one whom was the cherry on the cake
Just know that I loved you even if I was too late.
My eyes are becoming heavy and I am very weary
When I look down upon you all I don’t want to see a single eye teary

Just Ty—

105 · May 2018

Seclusion

Just Ty May 2018

Seclusion

I am tired of being alone every single day
People come into my life but never do they stay
If you walk into my house you won’t see anything on my walls
If you look at my phone there won’t be any recent calls
Except from maybe some bill collectors
Why is it that I never receive a call from a pain collector
Good morning Mr. Strong I see you owe us some of your pain
Maybe then my heart wouldn’t be so black and my thought of love wouldn’t be so stained
I just don’t believe happiness is in the cards for me
For constant set backs and negativity is what keeps haunting me
**** I wish any of this sounds good
I wish I could verbalize my thoughts so my words could be understood
Maybe I need to disappear maybe I need a different place
All I know for certain that here my minds not safe

Just Ty—

97 · Mar 2018

Don't

Just Ty Mar 2018

Don't

Don’t you dare say you love me until you have seen me at my worst.
Don’t you dare say that you couldn’t ever see me less than what I am until you see these tears burst
From my eyes that could only look at you.
You said that you would never repeat all I have been through.
But it wasn’t true, for you just up and left and I have no idea what I even did
This is why I spent so many years locking away my heart to where not even I knew where it hid.
I don’t think with my mind I think too much with my heart
Hence why we failed hence why we fell apart

Just Ty-

— The End —