I'm an eccedentesiast
Don't blame me
I can't help it.
And I prefer to see other people
With smiles across their faces
Rather
Than a blood-smeared etch on mine.

My iridescent mind
Is no longer subtly out of control.
I've passed the point of madness,
Overthinking
Until I reach the brink.

Tucked under the paranoia
Is the key to my relief.

Disbelief and trust issues
Seeping from my brain
Into the depths of my lungs,
The pit of my stomach,
Brimming my heart.

But the key is lost
And can never be found,
For my iridescent mind overrules it,
And keeps it as a weapon
So the mind can live,
As I so delicately fade away.

We, the Midnight Wanderers
Take pride in our nocturnal sensations,
Stalk the moon in its exposed manner,
For we gain comfort from its loyalty,
And wish we lived upon its lies.

You're like the sweet smell of rain,
The petrichor falling upon my lips,
And you never cease to keep me in awe.

The delight of you is strong,
But you never stay long enough
For me to fully appreciate
The feeling of your presence.

So next time you greet me,
Stay,
And let me show you what it's like
To roam the earth so whimsically.

You live in colours that don't exist,
Unlike my twilight soul.
Yet we are so familiar
With the inhumane species
That leaves us in wreckages.

Our midnight cries will be sook
By the naïvety of tomorrow's embrace,
And we will be left stranded on the shores
Of our own despair.

I've cried,
Used a mask,
Lost feeling
And felt too much.

I've overslept,
Under slept,
Starved
But even binged.

I've cut,
But was too ashamed
To let it heal by itself,
So that I quickened the pace.

I've almost drowned
In more ways than the one,
Unfortunately for me
Neither quite hit the spot.

I've tried so hard,
To beat the pain
By my own means,
But my inflicted pain
Never hurts
Like the pain I didn't ask for,
It just made me more numb.