When I am in love
I love deeply
I'm heavy
I fall fast
I set off running the second the tide hits my feet
My first step eagerly launches into a foreign ocean and my last...
My last is followed by the panic of not touching sand
The tide grows heavy and strong and pulls me in all directions like a black hole
I well with emotions as the swell rips my hands away
And straight into yours.
My hand hot, your hand cold
A thermodynamic equilibrium
I think to myself, "sold!"
My heart and soul are yours
At the low low price of a kiss
A touch
A breath
A breath taken away
So when I'm with you I'm on vacation
Surrounded by beauty and adventure
But, oxygen-deprived, I cant stay awake
I hold my breath because yours belongs to another
I cant be.
So for you to be happy you must be free
To be with another
I cant be her
I'm he
And my he isnt a she
And even if my he was a she it wouldnt be her
Not for you at least
I think
Wow it's late
I think
I need to sleep.

I left my darkness at home in a drawing i did
Capped my pen with its lid
And slid it under the table
Still on my mind like a drug
So I tried to sweep it under the rug
But spring cleaning had a different meaning this season
Greetings my darkness said
I thought i hid you with the rest of this mess
I'm only hidden till you are stressed
See there are things in your head
I am not one of them
But those things lay my bed
And so there behind your eyes I rest
Your inaction and content my crest
Though I wear it plainly
It seems you can never see it
A symbol for your Frankensteins monster
In hindsight you might has well be it
So Doctor when will you decide to believe it?

I promise you a life full of broken promises
Until we reach the promised land
Hand in hand
We'll walk
No doubt that gate will have a lock
But whether we have a key or not
My grip won't loosen
So loosen that noose in your room
You think you're doomed to
Because I'm here to take all your pain
Through every quake
As your knees shake
If your will ever breaks
Just know I'm there
The net to your trapeze act
This pact
Sealed in circus blood and white gas
Will never expire, will never pass
Not even after that one breath
The last

Torment and sorrow fall from the sky
Lucky for me I don't want to stay dry
They say when it rains it pours
So I will ride this tidal wave and soar
Till I'm above these cumulonimbus'
That mock me from their Mt. Olympus
And prove myself worthy of a throne of my own
But once offered, I'll happily reject
Because one thing this mortal coil is proud to neglect
Is the mentality
That follows THAT immortality
For true immortality is not to never die
But to have my name written by scribes
Until our pens are out of ink
And our minds become in sync
With all others
Our siblings, fathers, and mothers
Will remember the deeds
Of this modern day Theogenes

The day I found out how much I could grow from heartbreak
Was the day i subconsciously began destroying myself
With each thud a new ache
And with each new ache i climbed to a higher shelf
However this bookcase
Seems to go on and on like that belch
That, as a kid, i always wanted
But like leonidas i will continue my ascent undaunted
I'll reach my Ephors at the top of this mountain
However unlike the movie my council wont be bought
For despite tradition
This despotism
Revolves around me
I suppose my one regret might be
During my climb
I've left behind
Broken chunks of the hide
Pieces of my heart's mind
Physically fine
My metaphorically shattered heart remains as breadcrumbs in this forest of pine
Infested by witches and beasts some believe divine
My fight continues
Till i decide to see the sun shine
Again
Until then
I harbor the light i create
Starting in my heart and spreading through my spine
Powered through luminescence
All the world's weight isn't enough to make this back break

I can give you a lifelong smile
It may bend once in a while
Like the "C" on your apartment door
Lost it's top *****
I'll be there through and through
Your handyman
When your happiness runs askew
Baby, me and you
Will shape the stars to our will
Our diplomacy
Passing bills
Chaotically reorganizing nebulas with supremacy
Baby, you and me
Can explore past the darkest reaches
As we put together our pieces
Our circuit becomes complete
And our light will make the sun weep with jealousy
So take a moment and see
That, baby, you and me
Are everything

They say time is healing
But my clock is dry heaving
With each tick my pocketwatch is seizing
And I'm sitting here disbelieving
Can't you hear me
My hands stuck on ten and two
Unaware of what I'm supposed to do
The lack of passing seconds leaves me blue
I need to turn the wheel to turn a different hue
But this car i bought seems to be used
And the power steering seems to be bruised
I can't afford to lose
Another battle so its time to try something new

The mirror has become a distraction
and I've lost more than a small fraction
Of my time that i should have been putting back in to my peace of mind
I'm sick of staring at my reflection because all I do is whine
When I should be making this image of me mine
Instead of whining and judging
Why not be priming and loving
That being that inherently stares back and seems to be waiting
Waiting for me to put the time in
And break through this ***** on a commitment as old as the mint
A breath of fresh air found on the edge of despair
So I sign the contract, whether it be with God or the Devil
Because my new goal is only to achieve the next level
Become better, faster, stronger, and live longer
No more will I live in a haze so somber

This manifestation
Of the best and rest
Thats left in my head
Enjoys testing
The limits of this infestation
I call it reality
My analyst
Jousts with my imaginist
As their horns and halos get locked
My head begins to rock
Shoulder to shoulder
All this yelling has to be blocked
This snowball rolling downhill
Turns into a boulder
comprised of snowflakes
Imitating faces of friends shocked
shocked at the smolder
Left from the forest fire
In my mind
Each new thought another tree ignited
And expanding the blight
That i stew over
I stir frequently but the bottom still burns
And it boils over
So the next trial begins