It’s ironic
That the whole world sins
And you think
You have some right to condemn

Let he who’s flawless
Cast the first stone
Everyone’s walked away
And you’ve wound up all alone

How do you feel
Now that you’ve been left behind
This time you thought
That we were intertwined

But all the while
You’ve been wrong
Guess you have been
All along

All I’ve ever wanted
Is for you to look at me
But I’m done trying
To make a blind man see

It doesn’t matter what
The rest of the world tries to say
You’ll only see things
Through your eyes, your way

In your own words
Only the strong survive
So I’m done trying
To keep you alive

I’ve noticed you’ve been eyeing
That stone in your hand
That’s why I won’t speak up
You’ll never understand

Trying so hard not to let the world see
How deeply you’ve cut me
Everything you say or do
Breaks me and affects me too

This pain inside
Gets harder and harder to hide
I tell myself it’s not my fault
I’m just a victim of your assault

There’s so much I could say
But you’ll never listen anyway
I feel like I’m falling apart
Ugly words being thrown at my heart

I realize you’ll never be there for me
Not the way I want you to be
No pride in this victory, it’s hollow
This life is tough, how do I let go

After being around you I gotta step out
Find myself again, what I’m about
Holding on because my blood’s tied to yours
But these genetics are too much to endure

To an outsider this looks easy. You don’t understand the importance of accuracy.

You’ve never seen the terrors of lows in the night. You don’t understand that my blood-curdling screams aren’t a fight.

When the hallucinations come you won’t know it’s DKA, you’ll just laugh at whatever goofy things I say.

You can’t relate to the pain on my fingers tips, or the hurt in my heart from ignorant others in relationships.

You can’t fathom the literal pain in my skin, from an unstable A1C I’d been living in.

You’ll never know the fear of dying in your sleep, or the night terrors when your low slumber is deep.

Or how about the shame of my body scars from years of injections? It makes it hard to accept words of affection.

I’m mad at this world that says they’re here to assist. They say they’ll put my concerns on their list.

Their “acts of kindness” only apply to those with money. Content with their charity they live on in harmony.

I’m a victim of my own mind
Can’t leave the past behind
No matter what I can’t hide
From my thoughts, from what’s inside
Caught myself in some kinda noose
The more I struggle the harder it is to get loose
Lost in a world of coffee rings and rain
Wake me from my dreams, great disdain
Wanna stay in my imagination
Holding onto the bittersweet pain of realization
All the while trying to convince my conscience with positive psychobabble
Bound to my superstitions, can’t break this spell
Pulling myself in deeper with this haziness I hold onto
In love with this beautiful mess I’ve gotten into

Sometimes I hate myself, because I hate the words I let slip out of my mouth. Thinking I should share my feelings but my openness somehow goes south.

Sometimes I think my love is too strong. But is that a crime, is that so wrong?

It hurts so bad when promises turn up empty. The end result leaves me feeling so abysmally.

I want so bad to give and be my best, but tell me why, so often, I feel repressed.

All I need is to feel sought-after, treasured. Yet sometimes it seems like my needs never mattered.

I give so much, and for what? Things always get twisted, leaving me feeling like an idiot.

I hate that I have these thoughts at all. How is this the life we’ve come to befall?