Like a parasite
You thrive
You despise your existence
Yet
You live within the depth of this temple
You envy
The passions of others
Yet
You devour
Flicking away at any drop of concern
You think of yourself
Yet
These words, can’t wait to pelt you
Although held back
Thinking ‘What is to come of my future?’
Yet
You are filth
That needs to be disposed of
You are toxic
Harmful to my well being and sane mind
Everything you wish for,
Crave
Yearn
that feeling longing
that feeling for something
Do you feel anything?
How could you
You are nothing
I am in control of your fate
Yet
By my gracious heart
You are allowed to undergo
such things as Emotions
Because even I have morals
‘No one should prevent you from feeling anything’
But one thing you shall ultimately endure
Is Regret
For crossing paths with me
And
Ever thinking of the chances
Now tell me
Don’t you feel... Lucky?
You mean something to someone
And because of that...
You get to breathe for another day

Can't sleep
Bad dreams
Keep me
Fearing
For life
For love
Everything
Starved of
what I’m needing
You
Cant know
You
Wont know
What i thirst
Yet I’m only faced with the
Worst
False perceptions
Judgment
Failure
Loss
Maybe I’m the cause
Hate
Regret
Sadness
Maybe everything was a mistake
Nothing…
Is all that is left
After all that has been done
I’ve wasted your time

My existence is no longer mine

"I'm fine..."

Is what I'll say
Everyday
But
My head is clouded
Never know what's happening around me
Blank
Is my face
Is the world
Is this feeling
How I see everything
Has no meaning
You say it's fate
They say it's a mistake
I say I can take no more
Is the pain and suffering all we were made for?
People say a lot of things
Truth -- rarely
Lies -- mostly
It's your choice whether to believe them or not
It's your choice how life should be lived
Its your choice to continue with living
I think I already made mine.

"I'm fine"

I never met someone
That I could call a friend
Not a true one
All those people
You see me with
Are accompanied by my
Long worn mask
But
From the day that I met you
A simple greeting
Exchange of smiles and glances
Keep repeating
If only there were such things
As second chances
Should I have done that?
I felt so...
Sane
Calm
Free...
And...
Happy?...
Then a porcelain mask...
Started to crack...
Every day I talk to you
Bits and pieces fall
Showing only fragments
Of my true self
Do you see through my act?
After the truth dies
My mind may never be intact
I'm filled with lies
Twisted opinions turned to fact
Do you see it in my eyes?
Tell me...
When every shard is gone
When I stand near
When I'm... Human...
Will you still be my...




Friend?
Or would you disappear?

I hate what I'm going through
I hate what certain people do
I hate it
I hate it
I HATE IT
Please
If anyone is reading this
Hear my plead
Why
Must I suffer so
I never asked to be made!
I asked for nothing at all
Why should I cry so much
Why am I crying so much
Why do I always cry
...so much
It’s not my fault
I did nothing
Wrongly accused
Of everything
I get applauded for
Nothing
Will this be the last you'll ever hear of me?
Waiting for things that could never be
Is sacrifice
of one's life
the only way to be set free?

Silver
.
.
.

Red
.
.
.
Black
.
.
.
And white
.
.
.
Gasps
.
.
.
Screams
.
.
.
Silence
.
.
.
Then laughter
It could be a painting
A song
A dance
A theatrical scene even!
That sweet sound
Of your raw pain filled
cries
You beckon for mercy?
Or do you beckon for more?
Well if I were to show you mercy...
It shall be given in the form of
A long sharp blade
Pierced through your heart
To put an end to your 'suffering'...
This will only end the joyous rush
But will surely put an end to your ear splitting squeals
Sovereign eyes reflect upon stainless steel
Those once dark empty pupils
Dilate from the sweet lust
Still thirst for that rust scented
warm crimson goodness
That seems so much more captivating --as it is-- under the light of a full moon.
Fantasies of drenched palms
tainted in your blood
Swirl through a dazed mind
My thoughts shift to reality
As I behold the wonders of the act
'How can I get away with this?'
'Will someone find me here?'
'And what about ... them?'
I questioned anyone willing to give an answer whilst I
Stare down fondly
at what's left of your face

Is it wrong to end a life?
Even if it meant saving another.

Is it wrong to hate so much?
That your sight gets clouded
By pure rage 'till you see nothing but your crimson hued reflection
staring back at you

Is it wrong to plot someone's demise
So thoroughly, never flawed
That you may even wish to...
To play it out?

Anyone who's willing to make sacrifices
Should be honored for their heroic act of defending the weak.
But I am the weak...

Who will take the title of
'Hero'
Who will use it to mask
The true intentions of satisfying a cannibalistic blood lust...

The facade won't be kept up for long, though.
It's all in the mind
That is now twisted, and bent
seeking for the good in these actions of this 'hero'.

It’s like what they say;
"There is good in everything"

Do I still have good in me?...

It's too dark to tell...