A dark place where no one resides
And drugs and alcohol stop me from closing my eyes
A place where pain lives everyday.
And addiction that caused people to walk away A place where I got lost in sin
Searching for God but don't know where to begin
So I'm to Screaming to the sky hoping God hears my plea
Because this darkness is a case and I just wanna be free
Theres a flicker of light that still burns inside my soul
A hope that one day I can be whole
So I'll pray for forgiveness strength to break free from these gates.
As I reach for the light cause this will not be my fate
Its a long uphill Climb and I knew it won't be easy
But I'll keep walking towards God's light even when My steps feel uneasy
Every step is a prayer every breathe is a sign
That this life is still worth living and with God's help I'm taking back what's mine

Written By Jean Gillies

6-28-25

Have you ever watched a leat as it travels around
The wind blows it everywhere before it finally touches down
See a leaf's journey is something we never think about
Lately though I have ever since I encountered doubt
I wonder if it fears the fall of the final Certain rest
Or if it finds peace being put through the tests You see it spins and dips and turns surrendering to the breeze
A simple fragile thing just drifting through the trees
Perhaps its Flight is not a loss but a letting go A beautiful surrender to the way the seasons flow
The wind may toss me to and fro and leave me feeling tossed
But like the leaf I'll find my way no matter what the cost
And  that's the truth I need to find to let my worries cease
To find where I'm meant to be and finally be at peace

Written By Jean Gillies

6-29-25

Where am I, this place is so dark, but I hear a voice,
Come back to me, stop walking in the darkness and make the right choice.
You sound so familiar, it's like I knew you long ago.
You still know me, stop being so afraid of letting go.
I've turned into a liar, a thief, and a substance abuser,
I feel like I've become nothing but a loser.
I know I've made a lot of bad decisions in this thing called life.
Come back to me, my child, and I'll help you to make things right.
But inside I've felt alone for so many years,
And God, you know I've shed so many tears.
Could this be the hand I need reaching through the endless night?
A chance to rewrite the wrongs, to step into the light?
My heart aches with the weight of all the pain I've sown,
But in your voice and promise, a seed of hope has grown.
So tell me, how do I find my way back home to you?
How do I unlearn the darkness and finally have a breakthrough?
Perhaps the path unfolds with every whispered prayer,
A guiding light, a burden that you promise you will share.
I'm tired of the struggle of fighting on my own,
I reach out for your mercy, seeds of healing to be sown.
It's a single step, a quiet whispered plea,
To choose that path you offer, and trust it will set me free.
I'm weary of the shadows and the lies I've learned to keep,
Ready to face the demons hidden in the deep.
For the voice of God, so gentle yet so strong and true,
Awakens something vital, a courage born anew.

Written by Jean Gillies 6-30-25

What really happened to me?
I thought I was on my post but obviously I fell asleep
It was such a fall and it was extremely steep
I know that satan desired to sift me like wheat
I thought I had it all together living a good life
But I was wrong he  took me out without much of a fight
Before I knew it I failed my faith
And started. Stealing Abusing Substances and lying to people face
I betrayed God and especially My Church
I had sown so much pain and so much hurt
I've Cried to God asking him to please forgue me
I knew I was lost and no longer wanted to be Bound by my Choices weighted. down by my past
A Shadow of sorrow too heavy to last
I searched for a lifeline a shimmer of grace
To find restoration and stand in my place
For true understanding I knelt on my knees
To find absolution and put my heart at ease.
Though I have stumbled and Strayed from the way
I Seek his compassion each and everyday
The path of redemption though winding and long
I pray for the strength to right every wrong
Each step of this journey where I truly belong
With the strength  hope and belief to carry on

Written by Jean Gillies 7-1-25

I'm so glad that you still know my name
Even though darkness surrounded me you still remain the same
You never left my side you were always there
And when I was ready to give up it helped to know you still cared
Even when I fell into a state of deep despair
With no sense of direction it was you who saw my tears
I felt your arms wrap around me and assured me it would be ok
And one day soon I will be rid of the dark days
Lord I feel like I don't deserve your love sometimes
Can you keep reminding me I'm still your child Time after Time
It was you I repent of to with a sincere heart
And you directed me to tell the truth to make a fresh start
Everything had to come out and be explained clearly
Not only for everyone else but also for me to take accountability
With each truth spoken a burden released
Your loving kindness forever increased
My spirit is mending my future is bright
Bathed in your mercy and filled with your light
For this new beginning my heart sings your praise
Through all of my moments in all of my days
Your grace is sufficient your promises are true
I'll do my best to walk in your footsteps forever with you
If I ever slip and fall I promise to get back up
No longer in the Mire and clay because of you I'm unstuck

Written by Jean Gillies 7-2-25

As the sun rises and begins to shine what a view
The rays penetrate the tallgrass Fields with the dew
At the bottom of the hill is the valley in its great array
It seems I've been residing here most of my days
The valley was uncomfortable at first
Because instead of seeing my good I've seen my worst
David said though he walks through the shadow of death
He feared no evil because God was with him every step
And that's the place I'm coming to
Because my foundation is being built again and I will not be moved
With every beam his presence I embrace
Finding comfort finding strength finding his grace
The dawn declares a peace that will endure
My soul now becoming settled and secure
The rising light a promise true and bold
A brand new story waiting to unfold
Play Future clear beneath the morning sky
On this new ground I watch my spirit fly
So I've learned to embrace the valley not just for show
But I've learned to embrace the valley because that's where you grow
For every shadow torch my soul to see
The guiding hand that truly set me free
No longer bound by what used to be
I rise with purpose calm and finally free

Written by Jean Gillies 7-3-25

Who am I cuz I don't recognize myself
When I've looked in the mirror lately I've seen somebody else
I feel like I've been somebody else for years
Maybe that's why I've been shedding so many tears
A look around at the Crumbling pieces of a broken Man
I feel like a complete stranger in a foreign land
I remember when I used to hold to God's unchanging hand
I can't remember when I let it go it started drowning in quicksand
I feel like I lost this mental and spiritual battle without throwing a punch
But I remember I didn't hear a bell so it's time to get back up
The battling and fighting  are still going so I didn't lose
Just a little swollen battered and bruised
So I'm reaching back out to my Lord for his help
Cuz I know I can't fix my life through anyone else
The broken man will mend with God's grace piece by piece
And in his presence find true and lasting  peace
The foreign land becomes familiar ground once more
As I reclaim the person I am fighting for
He will guide my steps and show me who I'm meant to be
beyond the pain a clearer path I'll see
With his light I'll find my way back home inside my soul
He will make these fractured pieces finally whole
The stranger in the glass will fade replaced by whom I meant to be
A true reflection and a man finally free

Written by Jean Gillies 7-6-25