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523 · Aug 2018
Falling Out of Love
Justine Aug 2018
**** it hurts.
Falling out of love.
You wouldn't think it would.

My everything.
My heart.
My future.
So I thought.
So they say,
It's okay.
Still falling out of love,
it stings and burns.

My stomach is a pit of snakes,
Tied in impossible knots,
The guilt that's filled inside of me,
Is enough to eat me raw.

Falling in love is easy,
It's lovely, wouldn't you say?
It's not wondering what went wrong,
Or how we became some tragedy,
We were the one's that were going to make it,
We thought we knew everything.

**** it still hurts
Someday I'll be happy,
A piece of who I used to be,
But a broken heart needs time to heal
Time to be okay.
519 · Sep 2010
He Loves Her
Justine Sep 2010
He loves her
And that's okay with me
Because I never really loved him anyway

He loves her
And her ocean colored eyes in the sunshine
With a laugh that only comes out at the most sincere of times

He loves her
And they look so beautiful together
Hand in hand kissing silently in the grass

He loves her
I swear I wasn't spying
But admiring that maybe someday my love will come home to me again

He loves her
Does my love feel the same about me?
Will he hold me with the same intensity?

He loves her
And I walk away
With the hope that tomorrow will be closer than yesterday
Written 6/7/2008
506 · Jul 2011
Red
Justine Jul 2011
Red
I lay
I lie
I think
I thought
I dream
I wake
I cry
I heave
I breathe
I ****
I spin
I soar

the blankets are my reality
they know my deepest feelings
they hide my greatest secrets
they share my every thought

red means passion, hate, and love
red is my best friend
red surrounds my every move
its the energy that makes me tick
red is the color of my yearning
the blood that pumps so soft
red is the color of my blanket
my demon
my existence
my oasis
the endless heartbreak in my song
11/2009
502 · Sep 2010
Regret.
Justine Sep 2010
I'm something sullen, sunken into the depths of a lack of reality.

we forget the pain, we hide the hurt, and we don't tell whoever is new about all the damage that has been scarred into our hearts. we only know that they will just claw it until it rips.

I'm a wanderer, I'm scared, and maybe running away from my present makes me slightly weak.

Can't you just come over, hold me tight, start everything over again? Life and time were against us darling, we both can be such horrible people and know that I'm sorry.

Where to go from here? i guess we'll never know.
Written by me 8/26/2007
Justine Sep 2010
My breath is cold again the pillow I lay against
I'm not strong enough to move my head
And I'm too weak to help myself to the warmth
There's a downward spiral growing in my head
And its not okay to let myself slip anymore
Alone is a place that welcomes me home
And maybe the thoughts are better to be swimming than falling with me
There's nobody in the world right now ..
Its just easier to sit here and not say word
Because I **** at explaining my feelings
I'll continue to let everyone think that everything is going alright
Written by me 11/12/2007.
483 · Oct 2011
Words
Justine Oct 2011
Smile,
Simplicity.
Words can be overwhelming.
Serenity,
Silence.
Words are not always necessary.
448 · Sep 2010
Another Case of Life
Justine Sep 2010
I Dream In Turquoise and I have yet to discover what that means. Every time I get close enough to touch you fade away from me.
I'm coming I know its six months too late.
What is six months in a lifetime?
Enough to lose the chance of being with the one you truly love.
Why was the timing off but perfect enough to get the chance?
I'm sorry I make you cry at night, I'm sorry for the lies.
A selfish creature is one I warned myself of for most of my life and I have become the monster I truly despised.
I hate the things I cannot control like distance fate and destiny.
What does it all come down to in the end?
All I see is flesh and bone the blood has already soaked into the soil. Hold me to this one last line because I promise my darling I'll prove myself this time.
Written by me 6/7/2007. Revised 9/17/2010
100 · Jul 2021
How Do You Say Goodbye?
Justine Jul 2021
I sit with my head in my palm,
Tears dripping leaving eyes feeling like sand.
I shouldn't care so much
I should be so immune
But it cuts the scar and always creates
A brand new wound within its place.

I fake a smile, and pop a pill
To take away the anxiety and fake thrill
Of being rejected again
It hurts so bad
Like I want it to happen
But I stare at you
Wondering why
I'll never be good enough in your eyes.

Then I'll fall in love
With someone new
But it wont matter
Because I'm ******* stuck with you
And I know you still resent me
And I know you look right through
The very pieces I so desperately
Want to share with you

I wish Goodbye was easy,
But it never is,
Especially when it involves
Lots of dogs and kids
How do you say goodbye
To a life so comfortable and seemingly nice
To plunge in a world unknown
Never to pretend that my heart is full of lies.

I hate the way I love you
I love the way I hate you
It's like a painful game
And the loser is the only winner
In this ****** up game.
I want to say goodbye
I want to say hello
To the person in this world
Who wants to cherish my soul.
87 · Mar 2021
My Disorder
Justine Mar 2021
Let me introduce myself while we're here,
Names aren't important,
I'd rather make the message clear.

I'm the one who comes out of the dark,
To make things bright.
Euphoria overcomes me,
I'm invincible, ain't that right?

Just kidding,
Let's be fair.
Real life can't exist,
When I'm feeling like this,
I'll still be there to play,
Once I get out of this place.

In my head something isn't quite right,
Everyone wants to pity me,
And I guess that's just fine.

I exist in my mind,
Sorry darling,
Can't be fixed,
I'm the broken toy nobody wants to play with.

So feel sorry for me,
While I swing around free,
Not a care in the world,
At least for the time being.
Maybe this time I'll be fine,
Or I'll simply ruin my life.

I'm not sick,
I'm not crazy,
I'm all alone,
Isn't that amazing?

Standing here in front of you,
That don't make no sense,
I don't care if my grammar is atrocious,
Judge me if you dare.

So keep on staring with tears in your eyes,
It's funny how you only care when I'm falling apart inside.
You don't get my disorder,
You can't understand how I tick,
Is it funny how I'm dying inside,
I'll laugh just because this all seems so **** insane.  

I already told you,
I can't be saved.
Haven't you heard?
I can't ******* be saved!

— The End —