That day was magic.
The first moment he touched my skin it felt like I would die.
The last time he touched his lips to mine I thought I might melt; I could barely kiss his back.
The silence shared between our tempted mouths was beautiful while the conversation between two sets of eyes could have lasted a lifetime. I hate when anyone looks at me for too long but I never minded it if it was you.
I know your eyes never judge what it sees in me, they only admire, touch.
The stroke across my temple sweeping like a paintbrush with your fingertips tells me I'm beautiful without saying a word.
Whispering with your embrace for one more chance of what could have been.
I never gave into the fact of feeling butterflies and seeing fireworks until I felt your fingers through my hair and your mouth upon my body.
I never believed in love until I felt your eyes hypnotize mine.
Is it still too late?
Too much time and too many mistakes?
Because I still believe in the connection and I know you feel it too.
If I could feel my innocence lost in your touch one last time, maybe I could determine if it really is true.

My breath is cold again the pillow I lay against
I'm not strong enough to move my head
And I'm too weak to help myself to the warmth
There's a downward spiral growing in my head
And its not okay to let myself slip anymore
Alone is a place that welcomes me home
And maybe the thoughts are better to be swimming than falling with me
There's nobody in the world right now ..
Its just easier to sit here and not say word
Because I **** at explaining my feelings
I'll continue to let everyone think that everything is going alright

I'm something sullen, sunken into the depths of a lack of reality.

we forget the pain, we hide the hurt, and we don't tell whoever is new about all the damage that has been scarred into our hearts. we only know that they will just claw it until it rips.

I'm a wanderer, I'm scared, and maybe running away from my present makes me slightly weak.

Can't you just come over, hold me tight, start everything over again? Life and time were against us darling, we both can be such horrible people and know that I'm sorry.

Where to go from here? i guess we'll never know.

Dissolve into a paradox of unimaginable creations

life doesn't have to be a series of sarcastically serious games

i cant even remember the last time you made me laugh

and i have every reason to be selfish in this regard

i'm done being nice

i'm putting on my game face; i'm going to be just like you

3...2...1...

**** right I've changed

This is who I've become

I barely have a heart left

My soul couldn't take anymore pain

The two are frozen in a parallel world

You're Right

I'm ******* crazy now

I lost track so I ignored my mind

Fed up with emotional roller coaster head games grew some common sense and left its owner to rot in a self decaying cage

I'm a shell to you that's all I can be anymore

Why shouldn't I have lied?

It wasn't me at all to say the words that weren't true

But now I don't have to lie

I'm not scared of you anymore

and growing up my parents were less strict than you

Ive had enough fathers for one lifetime

I wanted a boyfriend that understood and was empathetic of what life this age is like.

Trust was never an issue because you never had any to start with

Petrified that I'd be just another slutty girl

You never hesitated to put me down for things I don't do

So how do you like me now?

You destroyed the part of me that gave a ****

I'm done playing nice

That girl is far-gone

I'm not bitter nor am I full of hate

"Treat others the way you want to be treated" Is ******* that defies human nature

I'm not the type of person that prefers to be confined to set rules and boundaries

Maybe you were right

maybe we are pushing something that isn't meant to be

You need submission

I need to be able to live my life

*** equals lust

I need love.

Neither of us will change to each others liking

Maybe we both just need to figure **** out and grow the hell up

Liquid nightmares burn me in my sleep

I'm settling for something wrong

I'm positioning myself for immense disaster

Could I be happier this way

Or is it better to **** the lack of what I need

With a fire burning into my stomach and expanding into my blood

The confidence blows over me too subtle to notice

I need what is stubbornly being refused

I'm in a state of oppression and its all my fault

I want a love that isn't based on being good at the surreptitious setting locked behind closed doors

Some days I convince myself that I'm expecting too much from this enlightened situation

I shake the feeling

Doesn't every girl deserve to be given what she wants in return?

The clear fire doesn't sting on its way down this time

Laying in bed, staring at the ceiling I realize in my drunken state of mind

Three things are certain:

Grey Goose and poignant thoughts create waterfalls from my eyes

Truth is a mystery because life is merely a pretentious lie

I'm in love with a person that only exists in my heart.

I Dream In Turquoise and I have yet to discover what that means. Every time I get close enough to touch you fade away from me.
I'm coming I know its six months too late.
What is six months in a lifetime?
Enough to lose the chance of being with the one you truly love.
Why was the timing off but perfect enough to get the chance?
I'm sorry I make you cry at night, I'm sorry for the lies.
A selfish creature is one I warned myself of for most of my life and I have become the monster I truly despised.
I hate the things I cannot control like distance fate and destiny.
What does it all come down to in the end?
All I see is flesh and bone the blood has already soaked into the soil. Hold me to this one last line because I promise my darling I'll prove myself this time.