Am I️ alive?
Functional?
If so,
It doesn’t feel like I️t.
Empty and dark
Counting the clock
How much longer?
You ready?
Here’s my body plant your seed and leave.
Leave me with the scars but silent the pain with your touch.
Who’s touch?
I️ don’t know any of you
But some how I️ find myself next to you
Why am I️ here?
Why are you here?
My body my soul my heart
Empty
Just like my car that’s parked
Am I️ live?
You heal me so well
But why in the moment?
Where’s my forever?
Oh its just my never.
You’re here for one thing
It’s not me, but
My twin he looks just like me lying there
Senseless and emotionless
Here’s my body take care of it
It’s the only thing I️ have left
I️ know I️m your feast
But feed slowly as I️ dissolve like a leaf
If I️m alive..

I’ve lived in fault for a long time.
I️ suffer from the hungry hurt that lies within my bones for a happy soul only to consume it.
The darkness that lived inside is erupting and taking over.
Your wishes are here the great positive things you all said and did have now become so true to be real huh? Don’t look confused I️ told you to watch out.
If you are confused just pay attention to the “Happy” moments I’ve had in life.
Cherish them.
Remember them.
Simply because...
They were all fake.

Why do we have to have feelings or emotions? Why can't we just love how we want? Happy? Why is that so hard to accomplish? Why are we put on earth just be demolished by the time being. If we had no feelings and no emotions life would be amazing. At least to me maybe feelings for the one you love the most and most likely spend the rest of your life with but besides that I only want the good feelings and emotions I don't like pain and hurt why do they exist? Why is loving so hard? Why do it take you through so much to end up no where? After a person leave why can't the feelings and the love you had for them get up just as well as they can? What is love? Is it something special? Is it a gift? A feeling? Or is it just apart of life and you have to meet it? But when you meet it why do he leave like that? Why do he think he can just walk through people the way he does? How come he can leave such a heart chilling feeling on people and leave them with the chills of hurt and pain? The past why do we have to keep the bad ones? Why can't the past leave like we do in order to meet the future? Why can't my memory dump out the old trash like a garbage truck? Is it just me or is life really something different? What is life? How do you live it perfect? How do you live it happy? How do you escape the madness? Life it's something else.

Does time really fly, or was I️ too late
You left so fast
I️ knew you wouldn’t last
You just couldn’t wait to get to  my past.
Give me more time
To do your heart like you did mine
Or was I️t yours?
When I️ felt you in my pores
It’s my turn
To show you what was really yours
My ace, couldn’t be my King
But you owned my being.
Giving myself to you
Thinking you’ll keep me blue
Your pain was so true
Now it’s too late boo.

It hurts.
It hurts even when you don’t think about it.
It hurts when you try and sleep
It hurts knowing that you can’t eat
It hurts knowing that suffocating pain is only getting worse and no one pays it any attention.
I️t hurts to know that I️m alone.
I️t hurts.
It’s hurting.