My Grandson is now ten and
growing like the proverbial ****,
but still young and sweet enough
to yet sit upon my knee,
to share moments of joy
and reflection, or for me
to tell him a story.

He still giggles when I tickle him,
and thankfully he's not too old to
give and receive hugs and kisses.
Best of all he never fails to tell me he
loves me whenever he arrives or leaves.

Dishes served full are well laid on the table
prawns are glittering adornments
though only yesterday
their tentacles were tasting the river
not knowing they would be in another water
in the river of saliva
grinded and pulped for a tasty moksha.

The rain falls unabated from last night.

Who'll go out to feed?, asks a voice.

Does never being hungry feel the same stress
as being hungry most of the time?

The answer is in the clouded eyes
watching the eyes
joyful for one more chance.

I've changed because of you.
So much about me has changed.
I'm not even sure who I was before I had you.
I'm not even sure if I want to be her again.
I've grown so confident.
So calm.
I've developed patience and honesty.
I know who I am, and have accepted myself.
I enduldge in the things I love and don't hide what those things are.
I've matured and learned how to love in a truly healthy way.
I no longer rely on others.
I don't need someone in my life to take care of me any longer.
Though just because I don't need doesn't mean I don't want.
I can't imagine living through a day without talking to you.
Without proving how much I love you and want you in my life.
You're apart of every part of my world.
Everything about the person I've become has been supported by you.
I want to live the rest of my life spending everyday being influenced by you.
Maturing with you.
Changing with you.
Being in love with you.

However I've lost you..
The one constant I will never want to give up.
I just pray that one day I'll get you back.
The world dulls more and more each day without you by my side.