Out
Of
My
Reach
You
Fell.

A
Prize
Lost
In
The
Machine.

I
Can
Ne­ver
Claim
You
Now,

Only
Wonder
What
Could
Have
Been.

I was a tiny bird afraid to fly
You were the kindest, warmest breeze
Carrying me into the sky
With remarkable ease.
You took me to heights I never knew
Showed me sights I had never seen
You told me my hopes and aspirations
need not be locked in gilded cages
and I should set them free.

The truth is;
I spent my life locked in a cage
of my own making
It was you who set me free.

Unable to stretch my wings
I heard the birds outside my cage
Singing about how it's a wonderful world
And I squawked with impotent rage.

It was you
who broke open my cage
and took me into your gentle hands.
It was you
who made me believe
I could fly if I just took the chance.
It was you
who showed me the love
I had never learned to show myself.
It was you
who gave me the greatest of gifts;
the opportunity to love you in return.

Now the sky is black and the night is cold
And the distance unfathomably wide
But I realise that I will never fly alone
You are always by my side.

So let us take flight again.

In the morning it will be better
that's what I tell myself.
Who am I trying to convince?
Each night after it gets dark,
I wish my lips were close to hers
instead of whispering into the chilling wind.
The words are immediately lost
just like she is to me
and I might as well be talking
to the half-moon and barren trees.
I was foolish to hope they would take wing
like a flock of doves or filthy pigeons
and find their way to her ears.
I whisper "I love you"
and the empty trees sway in response
their branches trying to brush away my tears.
In the morning it will be better
that's what I tell myself
but I know it's a lie.

If I had a chance again, I’d tell you
how much I adore your eyes.
I’d tell you how, in this dark dark world,
you are the brightest light.
I’d tell you that, although I’m overweight,
you make me feel like I could fly.
I’d tell you that I was the happiest I’d ever been
when I could call you mine.

If I had a chance again, I’d hold on tighter
to both your loving hands.
I’d lie with you and listen
to all your favourite bands.
But instead I am feeling blue
And listening to a tune that reminds me of you
The one that said I saw the crescent
But you saw the whole of the moon.

My guitar clattered to the floor
the moment you said
you don't feel the same anymore.
My fingers forgot how to make the shapes
that make the sounds
but my hands still remember how yours felt
when you were still around.
I no longer play guitar
because I do not know where to start
and there is no song that I can play
as beautiful as the song of our hearts
beating together.
It became my favourite tune
A soundtrack for the sun rise
bidding the flowers bloom.
Now my only song
is it's lonely echo
and my guitar is ashes.

It is 9:59PM
The drumming in the darkness
is only the rain,
there are no stars in the sky tonight;
just nosediving planes
in a hurry to meet their fate.

It is 10:04PM
The aching behind my eyes
comes from squinting at a screen;
This heart full of holes
comes from daring to dream
when dreams are out of reach.

It is 10:24PM;
Twenty-five minutes ago
The existential crisis engine roared into life
And I danced to its industrial tune.
The streetlamps all flickered
As if flirting with the half-moon.

It is 10:33PM;
And I drag myself outside
to feel the rain on my face
but the rain has stopped
and so has the aching behind my eyes
And my heart is whole.

And all is silent.

I may not always understand
the why’s of your behaviours
And the reasons for your thoughts.
I may not be able to see or feel
the burden that threatens to break you
while you smile and laugh at my bad jokes.
I may never find the magic words
that will erase your pain forever,
but I will keep writing until I do.
Because there is a song that reminds me of you;
that one were David Byrne sings
“you’ve got a face with a view”.
I may never fully understand
The condition casting black clouds on your days
But remember, the skies will always get clearer
And I will love you always.