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Mar 2014 · 509
I met you
Jacob Mar 2014
I met you once
Once,  one night
You changed thoughts inside my head
And I wished that night we could have
Layed in the bed
And talked a lot
Talked a lot
Of things we wished we would have said
You took away all the bad thoughts
Regardless what happens from now
Till then
Just know you were a present
not a mistake
Everything I said were all the things I
Meant
Mar 2014 · 354
Something
Jacob Mar 2014
Something to look forward to.
Someone to see my happiness glisten in her eyes. Someone to hold.
Someone to carry.
Someone to lift their life when their head is heavy. Someone to mend my wounds
and someone to set me free from my demons
and back towards the truth.
She was someone I sought to have
and someone I sought to love.
But now I lay in a bathtub
Drowning in my self inflicted blood.
Mar 2014 · 330
Dream
Jacob Mar 2014
I woke up one day
In a sudden haze
To realize I stepped back into reality
But the fog had not cleared
From my fragile mind
My dream that I had
Is what I want this time
Then I slept 5 days in a row
To lay down in bed
Processing the same dream
Over and over again
It was the most beautiful thing
A bittersweet fantasy
To dream of lying with you
Was enough to keep my sanity
Feb 2014 · 430
Untitled
Jacob Feb 2014
"Now get down on your knees on the tracks where you shamed me.
But this time, the dodge ain't going to end so pretty.
Either a bullet or that train steaming just ahead is going to end your days.
You coward little kid."
You sit and you stir, while he waits for his death.
You'll never forgive him, and you never did forget.
He'll never see the sun again.
Make him pay off his debt.
Stand on those tracks, cold steel under your feet, barrel to his temple.
"Your addict mother, you will soon re-meet," you whisper in his ear,
Feel his whole body shake.
In an instant he's got your arm,
He's got your gun, you're held down by his weight.
You feel the cold steel above and below.
You feel your stomach tie in knots as the train whistle blows.
You feel the warm of the blood where the barrel digs in.
From your cheek to your mouth, you taste the sweat and the tin.

You don't cry, you don't beg.
You've been waiting for this.
For the coward, or for death, just to see your wife again.
That train is so close, so loud and so clear.
Your hands stop shaking and it's all that you hear.
Just like father.
"You took him. If this is how it's going to be then I would rather die at the hands of my own family."
Feb 2014 · 398
Hope.
Jacob Feb 2014
Ive known you for such a short time
not for years
but one at that
the day I met you
I looked at you for less than a second
before I formed this insane impression
you're another one of those.....
but I was wrong
you're sweet
you're funny
you're genuine
you're beautiful
you're charming
i've been as close as I could get to you
physically and mentally
the day I got to just lay with you
was a day to remember
it took away all my pain
and focused it into something so much better
I can rant about how you're my dream girl
but your not
your real..
Feb 2014 · 470
Spark
Jacob Feb 2014
Ive been through hell and back
from start to end
its been three years of endless pain
not physically
but still the same
the fact that you came into my life
without a word to say
you somehow someway
took that pain away
and showed me the way
this could all be in my head
or I could just be insane
I could be falling for you
or complete just losing
but I know that if we were to try
things could work out
or we could crash
burn
and all begin to rot out
but thats a risk I am willing to take
to see if what It could be
could be great...
Feb 2014 · 318
3:14
Jacob Feb 2014
This isn't how it's supposed to be
And I'm sitting here holding my head
Laying in bed
Wishing one minute to eleven that I was dead. (I was dead)
Lost in thought
Out of my mind
There's no bad luck
Their just bad days
When you drop to the ground
And you dig your grave
Six feet
There's no way
That I left this earth
With less to say
A rotted mind
And bloated corpse
It's not that easy
Jan 2014 · 370
TOMB
Jacob Jan 2014
I want out
I left my path
Six feet long
And six feet In depth
The only bargain I have
Is with grim for death
What way when and where
All I got was loads of stares
But no one cared
They laughed and they pointed
To show that I was the weakest component
I was nothing
I meant no thing
I was lost
But i was free
Cut me down
The rope from a tree.
Dec 2013 · 374
Smile
Jacob Dec 2013
It's been a rough three years.
Tough as nails I've been.
I counted every second that I breathed.
And every minute that I've lived.
All the hours spent on you.
And all the days that I stressed.
But it's been years past two
And a little under three
I've learned that nothing was the same
My past was only meant for me
So I'll untie the knot
And step away from the seat
The seat that left me hear to hang
I've taught my ears to only hear
The truth that came out of me
Until you Came into my life
And forever
Saved me.
Oct 2013 · 1.1k
Withering
Jacob Oct 2013
I don't know what the **** it's called
Or if it's a phobia or not
But I know that everyday that I lay at night
I ******* fall apart
Afraid of my thoughts
And scared of who I am
I'm afraid of being alone
I shake and I quiver again
And I ******* hate who I am
And who I've become
A left behind
Misunderstood son
I seem to not give a **** anymore
Not six feet deep
But laying on my floor
Not by choice
But gravity falls
I'll be sure to destroy mine
Before I ruin everyone else's lives
Cause what comes first
Always seems to die
I've served my life in hell
But never left my home
Sometimes I wish death upon myself
That life would end
And no one would help
They'd stop and stare
But not say a word
Lead in my throat
And blood on my curb
I just sit and wonder why
Everything that I touch dies
Aug 2013 · 277
I'd be fine
Jacob Aug 2013
If you would stay by my side
Jul 2013 · 487
Hole
Jacob Jul 2013
This hole in my head has finally been filled
From the distraught and all that i've been through
The lies
The betrayal
The dishonor
I missed this feeling for a long time
Its been two years
And I have not felt this way in a long time
I wont mess up
and I wont lose you.
I hope for the best
*and expect the worst
Jul 2013 · 303
the wait
Jacob Jul 2013
It does not bother me
if its months to years
that I have to wait
I havent felt this way in a long time
not even about my first love
who crushed my heart
and its been 2&1/2 years to finally open up
and feel great once again.
you make me smile like no other
I cant wait for the months to come
so we can discover
that love can mend
and can treat me right
and that i know the future is bright
Jul 2013 · 287
I wished
Jacob Jul 2013
Upon a shooting star
I saw in the corner of my eyes
I wished on it
It wasnt too far
At least from my eyes so I figured the cause
I won't have to wait
My wish will come soon true
And it's been a month
And what can I say
I've finally began to wake up
And say
"I'm happy!"
Jul 2013 · 436
I give up
Jacob Jul 2013
There's no point in trying
I waste my feelings
As you waste your time
I'm not a saint
Nor am I a sculpture
I'm not the guy that anyone has asked for
I'm a terrible character
With not a flat to spare
I just wish one day
That I didn't care
But until it comes
I'd hang myself
Just for fun
Jul 2013 · 465
antici-
Jacob Jul 2013
as I lay awake
i've drank for days
today will mark 11
and its sad to say
that no matter what
its the only time im ever happy
some may think that im giggly and sweet
but when i lay asleep
my mind eats at me
every second every hour every day
it never goes away
so i deal with it in a less harmful way
than to live in a puddle of every self inflicted bruise
clawing as though it gives me life
worshiped as a savior
but hurting like a demon
I know that I will burn
Jul 2013 · 309
I'm not
Jacob Jul 2013
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I swear
I never will be.
Jul 2013 · 407
July, 12th
Jacob Jul 2013
It's 2 p.m.
I still don't know what to think
I'm torn between two seraphs
Ones an open book
Ones a mystery
If I they say its true
And learn from a cat
Curiosity will go away
And my mended heart
Will surely stay
Jul 2013 · 315
Done.
Jacob Jul 2013
The last will and testament
Of
The willingly deceased.
Jul 2013 · 654
High hopes for a low life
Jacob Jul 2013
Sometimes I wish I could sit and just be still
I rush into things
That I know that never will
Life has always been filled of pain
And for ages it stings
I feel I'll never be enough for someone
And that ill never amount to nothing
Jul 2013 · 408
Why
Jacob Jul 2013
Why
I was once so alive
and the world was so colorful
If I open my eyes will the color return?
I know this hurricane.
I’ve felt these waves.
Will You calm the storm in me?
I can’t help but think this is only routine.
I bow my head but where is my faith?

Where do my words fall?
Am I the last thing on Your mind?
Jul 2013 · 322
Repunzel
Jacob Jul 2013
Long Beautiful hair
locks and locks and locks
I cant help but stare
eyes of the fall
I want to prevail through it all
and win you over as quickly
as I wrote this poem
I just hope one day
I can not have the stress
to know we can both just go home
and not be alone
*~*~*~u guize I told you I couldnt write nice stuffz~*~*~*
Jul 2013 · 414
Gods Country
Jacob Jul 2013
You were never in my head
but you were everything
the thoughts that perish through my thickened skull
and my broken soul
you left an imprint
that was stuck in my mind
a waste of time
i thought the words that i said
made more sense in my head
and until that day comes
all shall always dread
the day to come
ill burn in hell
for the thoughts that i've had and the things that i've said
ill burn in hell

---------------------------------------

But I said
id never count the seconds or minutes
my time will come but i can only wait
but cant admit it
that when it comes
ill lay myself down to sleep
I pray the lord my soul to seek
my only choice now is
the gates of heaven or hell

— The End —