There's no point in trying
I waste my feelings
As you waste your time
I'm not a saint
Nor am I a sculpture
I'm not the guy that anyone has asked for
I'm a terrible character
With not a flat to spare
I just wish one day
That I didn't care
But until it comes
I'd hang myself
Just for fun

as I lay awake
i've drank for days
today will mark 11
and its sad to say
that no matter what
its the only time im ever happy
some may think that im giggly and sweet
but when i lay asleep
my mind eats at me
every second every hour every day
it never goes away
so i deal with it in a less harmful way
than to live in a puddle of every self inflicted bruise
clawing as though it gives me life
worshiped as a savior
but hurting like a demon
I know that I will burn

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I swear
I never will be.

It's 2 p.m.
I still don't know what to think
I'm torn between two seraphs
Ones an open book
Ones a mystery
If I they say its true
And learn from a cat
Curiosity will go away
And my mended heart
Will surely stay

The last will and testament
Of
The willingly deceased.