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620 · Sep 2018
Little Girl
Jacob s gurrola Sep 2018
Little one I see you laying there
Dreaming in your bed without a care
Daddy watches over you I swear
My life is your life without a dare
Let my arms swallow you up
As you were a baby sipping your cup
I see my self in you as I was
For love in you is all so much
Reach out with my lips-your cheek gets a touch
Soft as a rose peddle
More beautiful then a flower meadow
My eyes become heavy
Like a waterfall
The tears are steady
For when you awake
I'll be ready
Day by day & year by year
Know that daddy will always be here
FOR MY DAUGHTER
490 · Sep 2018
Endless
Jacob s gurrola Sep 2018
-Why is my mind such a fog
-like an alley with no end
-dark thoughts & evil make my knees bend
-my outlet is my pen
-endless letters but no where to send
-my feet are stuck in stone
-love in life still unknown
-blessed with you a light
-again my mind can't handle its might
-follow the darkness without sight
-lower my heart & open my chest
-why is my mind such a mess
-things are hard cause lifes a test
-fail every class less then the rest
-why do I only see the ugly
-people ruled by greed & money
-please open my eyes an cast a shadow
-blindness & darkness, Which are lies?
-**** life I'm paralyzed
-these demons say I'm trivialized
-its just my head, enough said!!
-still a fog back in the alley on an endless jog
-knife,wrist,throat-check!!
-blood flows from my neck
-Finally I'm clear because my death is near.
I was struggling with a very bad panic attack.
463 · Sep 2018
The One Girl
Jacob s gurrola Sep 2018
I once gave a girl my heart
But in return she took my soul
Young and brave I was
Hands clenched, palms sweaty, love was the goal
For this girl was so pretty, smart & witty
With her I was so proud & giddy
She would stand in the mirror with a grin
I am her bird - caged & locked
Drowning in blindness - the youth in me
Screaming & crying - alone and dying
False love - used & abused
Forever stuck in this loop
Theres always that one love
354 · Sep 2018
The Sun Set
Jacob s gurrola Sep 2018
Clouds Gather
Mountain High
Sun's Reflection
Orange Complexion
Seeping Low
Faint Glow
Slivered Light
Out of Sight
Now its Night
Just felt like it
322 · Sep 2018
Without You
Jacob s gurrola Sep 2018
I run towards the fire
Act as an hero
Count the life's
Start at 10.....No make it zero
Will I live as a widow
Feel my pulse running wild
To think that way makes me weak
Ankles, knees be strong
Hold my breath it won't be long
See my life wither away
I just held you earlier that day
Oceans fill my eyes
As fire melts my flesh
That doesn't matter my life is at a end
No future just past
My peace is final
Without you
There is no me
Count the bodies
I see 2
You & Me!
My daughter and her mom were stuck in a burning house and all I can do is run in
264 · Sep 2018
First Time
Jacob s gurrola Sep 2018
Music fills my ears
Like poured from an empty glass
Sung underwater if to be masked
Forms of a rhythmic beat
Drums pounding with indecisive heat
A smile tip-toes across my face
Guitar fingered at a dizzy pace
Hands sprinting through piano keys
Controlled by wrist on stormy seas
Heart pounding
Bass mounting
Such wild, untamed noise
But the band keeps its poise
228 · Sep 2018
My Tiger
Jacob s gurrola Sep 2018
Dreaming a dream........a dream of you
Watching & looking is all I can do
As you smile at me my heart will freeze
Im falling for you down to my knees
Biting & Kissing I just can't stop!!
From your neck to your feet
**** girl your making me weak
For your love is all I seek
I would follow you to the highest peak
Hold my hand
As I'm holding your heart
For this journey with you in ready to start
Can't lie, I'm truly scared
To be hurt, I'm not prepared
But babe , come to me
Slow dance & Soft kisses
I can't wait to call you my misses
Taking are time to make it right
But i already knew when we hung out that night
That you had my heart on a string
Like a kite
VERY BEAUTIFUL WOMEN I JUST GOT TO KNOW AND THIS IS FOR HER MY
225 · Sep 2018
Reactive Depression
Jacob s gurrola Sep 2018
People around
All alone
Never accepted
Always rejected
Cast to the depths
Exceeded feelings reps
Wiped clean
Never seen
Used machine
Broken part
Verbal shopping cart
Bumps and bruises
The one everyone uses
Contamination - Evaporation
Less then able
Bridge - Broken cable
Life of dismay
Just another day
?
200 · Sep 2018
How I Write
Jacob s gurrola Sep 2018
For I dont force these words from my hand
They leak from my heart
They drain through my mind
Pen to paper is the magic
Teleportation to one's imagination
Descriptions of moving pictures
Textures of illustrated script
For that's my voice
Scrutinized evidence of intelligence
Actuality of fiction
Using my mind to alter sentences
Utilizing & analyzing my subjects
Making something form nothing
Perfectionist of corroded words
For this is how I write.....
197 · Sep 2018
Converstions
Jacob s gurrola Sep 2018
There's a mystery in my voice
Theres a story to be spoken
No noise - Just an echo
Repeat, Reply, Rewind
Intersecting screams
Contradicting beams of sound
Nothing to be heard
I see the movements in your lips
Following your expressions for tips
Still nothing - Silence
Stuck in mud
Pulled down by violence
Miles apart in views
Im stuck looking for clues
For hours in the mirror
Arguments not with someone
But something
Myself
MY MIND IS A DEEP HOLE
188 · Sep 2018
Lonely Nights
Jacob s gurrola Sep 2018
The house draws cold
The soul seeps low
Where did my life just go
Like a snail from its shell
Like a butterfly from its cocoon
I am lifeless
Tried from nothing
My blood turns dry
My mind speaks lies
Tricking reality to believe fallacies
Never again
Rise again
No breath
No chance
I feel weightless
Outside my body but inside my mind
Trapped between realms
Blind by truth but have no alibis
Drink my words
Fill my soul
Don't worry my body will take the toll
Like a house on sand
It brings me down but-walls stay sound
Open doors let it in
This house draws the cold in
I come back down
****** back up
Wake in sweat
All alone
Loneliness is all that's known
A dream I had in which I was dead but my soul wouldnt leave my body but didnt understand what it meant and its drove me insane.
179 · Sep 2018
ANGER IN ME
Jacob s gurrola Sep 2018
-SO **** DEEP
-I CANT SLEEP
-DEVOURING FRIENDS & FAMILY TO EAT
-TRAPPED INSIDE - SPECTATOR TO ITS SEAT
-BUTCHERS BLOCK- FRESH MEAT
-HURRICANE OF HATE
-LOVE IN LIFE - NO MATE
-DARKNESS IN ME - MY ONLY DATE
-NO UNDERSTANDING OF THE BLACK
-KIDNAPPED BY RAGE - HIJACK
-SWIMMING IN QUICKSAND
-DANCING WITH THE DEVIL
-DESTRUCTIVE COMBUSTIONS OF DESPAIR
-DEVIOUS EYES THEY STARE
-HEAVEN IS HEAVY
-BUT THE DEVIL IS TWO TONS TOO!
-VERY WISE WORDS ARE SPOKEN
-FROM THIS ANGRY IVE AWOKEN
Angry can dictate your life
166 · Sep 2018
Force
Jacob s gurrola Sep 2018
The wind will never die
To me it blow so jealous
You even hear it sigh
Never did I wish this stone on your back
Never wanted to be that love you lack
My mind is so tired
Running in circles that never matter
Hands so tight
Fingers so stiff
You always give ny heart a little lift
My feet run but never move
On a mission with no purpose
Cant fight to change or change the fight
My daughter's breath is what gives me might
I stand over & watch you at night
My fist becomes clenched too tight
Crushing my dreams faster then light
Never the same
My past is gone
Today is a new
All I know is i will be with you
To die to dust becomes a must
I become the wind!
Thinking I was a horrible father because i didnt want to be a dad anymore and jiat want to give up BUT HER CALL OUT FOR DADDY BRINGS ME A SMILE

— The End —