B: Poems

6d

B 6d

Hear the call, ring around the corridor
I’m without one, what a bore
Gray walls thou don’t know my love
I wear blood on my hands like a glove
I know you’re soon to be here, my sweet
I’ve got a little thing for you, a treat
Remember how I love you so
I’ll tell you then to lower your bow
I did it for you, now do you understand?
This, all to us, lover, isn’t it grand?
We can be together, forever
I know I love you because I will **** for you
What ever would you do,
For the love, do you give upon to me?
If not, trust you would be free
Free from me and never again
Will you ever, ever have to bend
But know, the love is great and yours
Keep it well, let it fill you, let it pour
I’ve left you, but I’ve never gone
We can be together, to raise our fawn
That life for us, now open and allowed
Your father would never have bowed.

#love #killing #forbidden #gay #fathers #death

May 24

The Paper In My Locket Tore

B May 24

The Paper In My Locket Tore

Wine glass clang
Stick in time,
Still the same.
Reverberate around the pool
White or red,
Pick your tool.
Move and quiet together
I don’t need another,
Just one more feather.
Tonight I will sleep
It's finally the weekend,
I will have her love to keep.
Knowing while getting ready
Sleeping is soon easy,
Remember to keep steady.
A snack before bed
Orange and white,
They mess with my head.
Help me sleep for evermore
Hungry for the peace,
The paper in my locket tore.
Tired is the only feeling
Soon the last one,
Feeling out the ceiling.
Lock my door tonight
No body is getting in,
Except for the blight.
Can you tell I’ll be late
Tomorrow's meeting postponed,
Reschedule my date.

#suicide #hurting #pain #death #love

May 20 · 151

The Red Corner

B May 20

The Red Corner

Once in a while I realize
I am really addicted to the pain
This addiction gives no prize
Only giving me more to strain
The red corner
Stares at me blankly
I should be dead at the shore
I’ll just have to use this shank
CPR on wounds will never go so great
Bleeding more will my nails have done
The one I love is not my mate
He's just there to have some fun

#selfharm #cutting #pain #love #addiction #hurt #sadness

May 17 · 232

Gaining From the Pain

B May 17

Gaining From the Pain

Its getting worse, I know
Worse enough to never show
Hurts with only the lightest blow
The scars can only continue to grow
I’ve never been good at life
Stand back and watch my knife
The emotions I feel can only stife
When I lean back, and feel the knife
Knife and knife go together
Feeling down and dank in this weather
It's sunny out but oh so tethered
The head brings my blade out
Makes my wounds peel
And kills my spirit
The deeper I go, the better I feel
The lingering pain, will only make me gain

#selfharm #cutting #pain #emotions #hurt #sadness

Apr 5 · 290

Becoming Bear

B Apr 5

Becoming Bear

This ain't love but what I feel
Hatred anger and more to steal
Every glance upon your neck
Is just me making sure, to check
I need to know who you are
Before you go and step to far
Don’t you smile that at me
Soon enough, you will see
My stomach hurts and feels obtuse
I will only ever break our truce
Anger fills my eyes and breaks my nose
I’ll never be you, I suppose
No, one day I will, don’t forget it
Steal your body and take your bit
It's not an act of malice, swear
More than one of need, I’m the bear.

#love #hatred #feelings #confusion #longing #want #gender #hurting

Mar 29 · 231

I Really Hate Summer

B Mar 29

I Really Hate Summer

I will come back to you
A little taller than before
You will never know what's true
How my legs and arms tore
I really hate the summer
The breeze makes me sad
I’ll try not to be a ******
But you know I can’t make you glad
I’ve always been scared
That summer brings death
(Sticky hot and flies buzz round
Upon the roadkill on the ground)
I’ll never know if you cared
Getting close so I can feel your breath
The summer is worse than spring
In that the birds won’t sing

#summer #sadness #feeling #spring #longing #transgender

Mar 7 · 201

Sorry, Mr. President, Not Mine.

B Mar 7

Sorry, Mr. President, Not Mine.

Can’t I be free? Can’t I speak to my “president” and tell him to please, please, free me? Mr. President, what do you wish for me to do? Mr. President, what do you want to tell me? Mr. President, I never did anything to you, right? Mr. President, you are not my president. You are not my ******* president, got it? You won't be. Ever. Try as you might to take over my country, and try as you might to take over my body, you will never have power over my mind. I'm banned from sports but I'll still watch. From the sidelines I'll be watching yearning to play. Hope you know I wish for your demise every night. I wish for everything you stand for to crumble. So you’ll be right on my level, and I can say to you, “You are not my president, Mr. President, sir.” Even though I still can’t vote, I know whose side I’m on. So sign that order, Mr. President, ‘cause soon I’ll be there to spit on it. What have you got other than a pen? Money can burn.

#america #president #hatred #anger #dictator #transgender

Mar 6 · 1.2k

But A Dove

B Mar 6

But A Dove

I think I cut too deep
Look at that cut on me
It hasn’t healed for fourteen days
It won’t never go away
Maybe they’ll finally notice
How I’m far past my lowest
Look into the open wound
Staring back with eyes of stound
Watch it drip honey
And gush out sounds of
A time when I was funny
And not the time now where I am but a dove

#selfharm #cutting #deep #remember #thepast #depression #sadness #emptiness

Mar 5 · 891

The Shape of Pain

B Mar 5

The Shape of Pain

My fingers grab at it
             So tightly i think that they
                     Might break off into
         Tiny little pieces and
              Scatter everywhere
                     Littering the floor with
            Sharp metal shards

#selfharm #sadness #cutting

Mar 2 · 315

The Thorn To A Rose

B Mar 2

The Thorn To A Rose

Flower petals do not die
Fold them neatly
And place them on my upper thigh
Think about how they do treat me
Like I’m the thorn to a rose
Wishing to ***** their pointer finger
They don’t know me I suppose
Maybe when I grow up I’ll be a drinker
Drink myself to death and beyond
slouch upon my ***** couch
Thinking about the time when I was blond

Being Blond = Being Young

#flowers #growing #up #transgender #wondering

Mar 1 · 295

The Fruit From The Tall Tree

B Mar 1

The Fruit From The Tall Tree

I cannot reach the fruit on the tall tree in the woods
And all the men next to me are always telling me
C'mon man, just reach up high and grab one
C'mon man, the fruit tastes so very delicious
C'mon man, every real man here can, go on
C'mon man, you can't be that small, grab one like the rest of us

Well I am
And I cannot reach the fruit they can
So I will walk further in the forest
To find a tree small enough for me

And I see
Another boy like me
Picking the fruit of the small tree
And I will say
C'mon man, let us eat the fruit together
Because surly
The tall tree is not meant for us boys.

#transgender #isolation #height #different #sadness

Feb 27 · 133

Gone With The Flood

B Feb 27

Gone With The Flood

Wading through the waters of the past
You know this feeling will not last
But the rain just won't cease to pour
This life is known to be just a bore
Filling up your past with water
Gone with the flood is your poor old daughter
Raveging through cities and towns
Stand up on your roof so you won't drown
But in that tall wall of destruction
Is a body in need of reconstruction
Begging you to jump into it
Tell your mother you’ll be back in a bit
Back with a new friend that she doesn’t like
After the flood strike
You’ve changed beyond recognition

#transgender #changing #mother #transition

— The End —