B - Hello Poetry

B 2d

Once in a while I realize
I am really addicted to the pain
This addiction gives no prize
Only giving me more to strain
The red corner
Stares at me blankly
I should be dead at the shore
I’ll just have to use this shank
CPR on wounds will never go so great
Bleeding more will my nails have done
The one I love is not my mate
He's just there to have some fun

#selfharm #cutting #pain #love #addiction #hurt #sadness

B 5d

Gaining From the Pain

Its getting worse, I know
Worse enough to never show
Hurts with only the lightest blow
The scars can only continue to grow
I’ve never been good at life
Stand back and watch my knife
The emotions I feel can only stife
When I lean back, and feel the knife
Knife and knife go together
Feeling down and dank in this weather
It's sunny out but oh so tethered
The head brings my blade out
Makes my wounds peel
And kills my spirit
The deeper I go, the better I feel
The lingering pain, will only make me gain

#selfharm #cutting #pain #emotions #hurt #sadness

B Apr 5

Becoming Bear

This ain't love but what I feel
Hatred anger and more to steal
Every glance upon your neck
Is just me making sure, to check
I need to know who you are
Before you go and step to far
Don’t you smile that at me
Soon enough, you will see
My stomach hurts and feels obtuse
I will only ever break our truce
Anger fills my eyes and breaks my nose
I’ll never be you, I suppose
No, one day I will, don’t forget it
Steal your body and take your bit
It's not an act of malice, swear
More than one of need, I’m the bear.

#love #hatred #feelings #confusion #longing #want #gender #hurting

B Mar 29

I Really Hate Summer

I will come back to you
A little taller than before
You will never know what's true
How my legs and arms tore
I really hate the summer
The breeze makes me sad
I’ll try not to be a ******
But you know I can’t make you glad
I’ve always been scared
That summer brings death
(Sticky hot and flies buzz round
Upon the roadkill on the ground)
I’ll never know if you cared
Getting close so I can feel your breath
The summer is worse than spring
In that the birds won’t sing

#summer #sadness #feeling #spring #longing #transgender

B Mar 7

Sorry, Mr. President, Not Mine.

Can’t I be free? Can’t I speak to my “president” and tell him to please, please, free me? Mr. President, what do you wish for me to do? Mr. President, what do you want to tell me? Mr. President, I never did anything to you, right? Mr. President, you are not my president. You are not my ******* president, got it? You won't be. Ever. Try as you might to take over my country, and try as you might to take over my body, you will never have power over my mind. I'm banned from sports but I'll still watch. From the sidelines I'll be watching yearning to play. Hope you know I wish for your demise every night. I wish for everything you stand for to crumble. So you’ll be right on my level, and I can say to you, “You are not my president, Mr. President, sir.” Even though I still can’t vote, I know whose side I’m on. So sign that order, Mr. President, ‘cause soon I’ll be there to spit on it. What have you got other than a pen? Money can burn.

#america #president #hatred #anger #dictator #transgender

B Mar 6

But A Dove

I think I cut too deep
Look at that cut on me
It hasn’t healed for fourteen days
It won’t never go away
Maybe they’ll finally notice
How I’m far past my lowest
Look into the open wound
Staring back with eyes of stound
Watch it drip honey
And gush out sounds of
A time when I was funny
And not the time now where I am but a dove

#selfharm #cutting #deep #remember #thepast #depression #sadness #emptiness

B Mar 5

The Shape of Pain

My fingers grab at it
             So tightly i think that they
                     Might break off into
         Tiny little pieces and
              Scatter everywhere
                     Littering the floor with
            Sharp metal shards

#selfharm #sadness #cutting