Don't panic
It's been a year
And then some over
You're crossing lines
Missing spirit
You've outgrown her

And you've said to God
“Give me hell
If I reject my own handed death
Through this mess
I will live free and well”

But when She drew the cross on your back
You felt your spine bend and crack
As it took your breath away
And the world left you alone
For you to atone
Blackening out your day

And God watched from Her place in the sky
Entertained
Would you live or die?
Outlined that cross
In bolder lines
Watched fall to your knees
Smiled
When you grit your teeth
Instead of screamed and cried
And reminded you of that out
Over and over in your head

And you said
“Take a piece of me
And plant it under your holy tree
Bury it in the deepest hole you can
And I may wonder if I'll be whole again
Take my ability to love and then
Cut away the the best parts of me
Even wicked to see the end”

She replied
“Being of the dark
Standing bent and stark
Would you ever live again in the light?
You've traveled across my abyss
To find your way home
But even in this house of God
You would remain alone

You know the of tome
That's engraved in your bones
That fate would kiss you this way
Broken and marred
With all your scars
The light would never again love you anyway”

Then the sun that lit up your moon
Went out and made it new
Darkening those cursed eyes in your mirror
A mere ghost of you
Cut down to survive
And survive you do
Full of aching echo's
And pretend “I love you’s"

Your VCR static
Replaying that past
Again and again
Scorching your mind
The blood of your friends
To blur the lines from beginning to end

Don't panic
My friend
You won't die here
But you'll never feel alive again