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188 · Mar 2018
A Beggar and God
- JP DeVille Mar 2018
May be I've written all I had to write,
may be I've said all I had to say...

The gate was closed,
the river dried,
the portal sealed,
the poet died.

I've packed my things while there's still time,
soon they'll march in here and take this too,
I don't feel nothing I've lost the key,
but then again what's it to you?

God if the crime I commited was charged with sin,
by heaven's gates take anything,
anything but my palpitating fingers,
return to me the empty words,
the shattered puzzle I cannot complete,
to form the feeling that still yet lingers.

For what's a singer without a song?
What's a knight without his sword?
What's a writer without words?

Take the sunrise from my eyes,
or the music from my mouth,
take the songs out of my ears,
take it all that I adore,
but oh God let me write once more!
186 · Apr 2017
Passionately
- JP DeVille Apr 2017
I love,
But not like others love;
I don't speak the words for the sound.
I love,
But not for a kiss.
I love
strongly and fall even harder.
I love,
But not simply.
I love,
passionately.
184 · Aug 2017
The Bukowski Effect
- JP DeVille Aug 2017
Help me if you can I'm feeling down,
I can't seem to pick my pencil off the floor,
all my papers are scattered on the ground,
I can feel my magic talent walking out the door.

I was once the great Hemingway,
now I feel as alone and empty as Poe,
These streets are endless and I can't find a way,
now I realize that I am my only foe.

I could write like the romantic Neruda,
or narrate just as good as Thompson,
but I've been stranded on this beach Bermuda,
to inherit the kingdom of the long lost son.

Angel of poets please grant me more time,
give me enough inspiration to write once more,
just the right words to make her mine,
to let her know she's the one that I adore.
183 · Sep 2017
The Little Things
- JP DeVille Sep 2017
Listen to the crinkling sound of bubble wrap being stepped on by a pair of fresh socks.

Imagine the sound of a chalk pounding against a slate stone on a classroom wall.

Look out for the large raindrops falling and bouncing on a cardboard box.

Watch carefully the tapping of two high heels dancing a slow song on a wooden dance floor.

Feel by hand the impalpable wind vibrating under an exit door.

Sense the rapid movements of a humming bird's wings while he does his God-given duty.

Admire the sound of two lips meeting each other for the first time like two strangers.

Speak with your mouth and produce a melody for the heart, and let your words be the little things others sit back to:
Listen. Imagine. Look for. Watch. Feel. Sense.
& Admire.
181 · Sep 2017
C'est La Vie
- JP DeVille Sep 2017
She left me with a red mark on my face,
called me an idiot and a hypocrite,
then said she never loved me,
but hey, c'est la vie.

The other one made out with a friend,
so much for him being the best,
they both said it was just a kiss,
but hey, c'est la vie.

Number three said let's just be friends,
and within a week she was dating someone else,
he cheated on her within a month,
but hey, c'est la vie.

The other one claimed that she was gay,
yet everyone called her chicken hen.
I hear she's got secret lovers,
but hey, c'est la vie.

I bought a rope and found a chair,
I broke a ceiling fan and pulled my hair,
seems not even that worked out for me,
but hey, c'est la vie.
178 · Sep 2017
Last King Of France
- JP DeVille Sep 2017
I saw a rocking chair today,
nobody sat on it,
but the wind blew hard enough
to make it move.

I imagined you sitting there,
with your Jack Daniels bottle;
crying for an old lover,
and between us,
sometimes I missed her too.

I saw her early one morning,
she seems happy, she doesn't need us.
Her indifference became my gain,
I've moved on, I hope you did too.

Something else while I'm at it,
you were a great ally,
a father and a son.
Who would've known we'd become friends,
you were coal and I was fire,
but I guess we both burned out.

Remember that crazy night,
we fought for an eternity,
like bear and tiger, with claws and teeth.
We were both so filled with pride,
trying to prove we both were right,
seems though we both lost the fight.

Though both so different,
we both were so alike,
maybe that's why neither would surrender,
but maybe if we both had,
we'd still be eating at that same old table,
probably fighting for that last slice of pizza.

"Enjoy every sandwich". Remember that?
I took a bite and poured you one,
maybe one day you'll come back,
then we can finish that last bottle.

I played the man in black,
and he spoke for both of us.
"What have we become,
my sweetest friend.
Everyone I know,
goes away in the end."

So here's to you,
my bestest friend.
I hope you still need me,
I surely still need you.
Take care old pal.
178 · Jul 2022
Love Temporal
- JP DeVille Jul 2022
I think I love her
But she will never love me
Two boats lost at sea
177 · Jul 2017
Labios Partidos
- JP DeVille Jul 2017
Mi labio está partido,
y derrama sangre hasta el suelo,
de tanto que lo eh mordido.
Mi labio está herido,
porque extraña el toque de los tuyos,
de tus besos, tus cariños.
Mi labio como mi oido,
buscan el vibramiento de ti,
de tu voz y de tu aliento.
Mi labio seco y frio,
muere por las aguas dulces de tu amor,
y el cálido refugio de tus labios.
174 · Sep 2017
Luna Bella
- JP DeVille Sep 2017
If I got lost in your eyes,
would you help me find my way back?
If my hands held yours too,
could we dance a song or two.
Could you? Would you?

Tell me can you feel it?
The beating of my heart,
Tell me can you hear it?
The tempo of our feet.
Hear it. Feel it.

The lights shine brightly,
your lips seem to glow,
hold me darling a bit tighter,
let the dance floor grow.
Brighter. Tighter.

If I kissed you, would you forgive me?
And if you liked it, could I have one back.
If the camera's on us, let us be actors,
forbidden lovers for play pretend,
just hold me closer,
don't let this end.

So take this night and hold my hand,
freeze the whole world,
capture the moment,
for when it's gone and I awaken,
I know I'll miss you,
I hope you will too...
171 · Sep 2017
Lonely Old Man
- JP DeVille Sep 2017
Lonely old man,
what do you see?
From your old chair,
when you look at me.

Lonely old man,
you live all alone.
What have you lost?
What do you own?

Lonely old man,
what has time borrowed?
What has he taken?
What do you sorrow?

Lonely old man,
life went by so fast;
leaving you stranded,
holding on the past.

Lonely old man,
what do you regret?
Tell me so quickly,
before you forget.

Lonely old man,
you passed away
on a winter morning,
on a lonely day.

Lonely old man,
what will I see?
When I sit on that chair,
and they all look at me.
171 · Aug 2022
Strangers
- JP DeVille Aug 2022
I saw her today
She seems better without me
Her eyes glow once more
171 · Apr 2017
If
- JP DeVille Apr 2017
If
If only I had all the money in the world.
If only I was the best pianist,
or maybe the best composer.
If only my poems got me famous.
if only my words got trough you,
if only,
if only I had you.
164 · May 2023
No Queda Nada
- JP DeVille May 2023
No te culpo por lo que pasó entre nosotros.
Nuestro amor náufrago se había quedado varado en momentos vacíos.
Como páginas rasgadas en libros que compramos y nunca leímos,
los colocamos tan alto en libreros ahora cubiertos de polvo.
Las mismas canciones tristes suenan una y otra vez en el fondo de mis pensamientos,
pero no hay un acorde secreto que levante y encienda el fuego que una vez ardió tan brillantemente.
Llegó el invierno y con el se llevó el calor de tu cuerpo,
la luz de mis ojos,
el sabor de tus labios,
el mismo aliento de mis pulmones,
y hasta el sonido que produce tu boca cuando me dices
"Te amo."
Las estaciones cambiaron,
y la primavera llegó sin sus flores de cerezo.
Los barcos que contenían nuestras esperanzas zarparon,
mientras todavía estábamos a kilómetros de darnos cuenta de lo lejos que estábamos.
No queda nada,
mas que el silencio ensordecedor de nosotros,
cara a cara,
sin nada que decir,
Solo el recuerdo de nuestro amor caído,
lo que una vez fue, lo que pudo haber sido.
Tú y yo, no más.
164 · Jun 2018
What is Poetry?
- JP DeVille Jun 2018
Poetry is beauty,
Poetry is the essence of expression
When simple words will not suffice.
164 · Sep 2018
Hold On To Me
- JP DeVille Sep 2018
In those lonesome moments,
When the distance closes in on you,
Look up at the night,
And notice we share one sky.

No matter how far we are,
The moon shining brightly upon you,
Is the same moon that reflects on me,
It connects my love to you.

Close your eyes as if waiting for my lips,
And feel the wind kissing your cheeks,
Reddening them the color of cherries,
Know that it's me blowing kisses your way.

When the morning breaks,
and you're still awake,
Forget time exists,
Simply think of me,
I'll be there with you.
164 · Jan 2018
The Most Beautiful Death
- JP DeVille Jan 2018
She danced around on the balcony floor, then balanced herself on the metal railing, tip toeing like a circus acrobat.

I was walking home down on the street and noticed her presence when her keys fell just beside me.

She ordered me to come in with her index finger, then blew a kiss my way, jumping carelessly on one foot.

I ran to the fourth floor tripping over steps, dropping my suit case on the second floor,  
I threw myself to unlock her door but noticed it slightly open.

She blew a kiss once more from the balcony, her small round lips now locked to the mouth of a small caliber gun. She winked with her green eyes blood red, salted with tears. For an eternity of a second nothing but silence, then a flash, then crimson red, then nothing.

I walked towards the tiny acrobat, hoping some sort of net had caught her in her fall. Past the railing, down on the street, she posed towards the stars, as if she were one of them,
finally returning home.
162 · May 2022
Uvalde
- JP DeVille May 2022
I'm sorry we failed you
I'm sorry we as a society
Did nothing to protect you
It wasn't your fault
It never was
Children are not politicians
Children are not republicans
Children are not democrats
Children are not targets
Children are not targets
Children are not targets

You went to school
Like any other day
Mom or dad or a loved one
Dropped you off and waved good bye
For the final time
You were just a child
And now
Just another casualty
Maybe one day
We will do something to fix this
But not today
Today we will sit here
And wait for the next one
And the next
And the next
And children just like you
With hopes
With dreams
With loved ones
Will be nothing more
Than targets
162 · Jul 2017
The Feet Under My Door
- JP DeVille Jul 2017
Never think you're old enough to handle,
lying awake at night past four;
don't scream, don't cry, don't cause a scandal,
simply beware of the darkness you adore,
for the man with the black candle,
always stands behind your door.
162 · Apr 2017
In the Closet...
- JP DeVille Apr 2017
I awoke, but not as usual, I opened my eyes, but I wasn't facing my bedroom wall, I wasn't under the comfort of my blankets, I was not on my bed. I was laying on my bedroom floor; I was restless. I must've slept all night long, but my body didn't feel like it had any fresh energy, I could feel an intense pain in my stomach, as if someone had poured acid down my throat. I sat up, I was wearing only my underwear, like usual; but I had blood all over my chest. I looked to my left, and on the floor sat the bottle of pills I hid behind my computer, completely empty.
I heard knocks on the door, it was my mom's voice telling me it was past 12, when was I going to get up. She'd walk in and see me covered like this, she'd think something's wrong with me, she would finally want to take me to a psychologist. But I couldn't let her see me like this, I forced my body up against my aching stomach, "I'm awake", I yelled, but she kept on knocking, I could hear her getting the spare key from under the rug, she began unlocking the door. I had to do something before she saw me, I reached for the dead bolt knowing she didn't have a key for that one, but it was too late, she walked in.
"I can explain" I said, I began talking but her eyes never stopped to meet mine, she stared directly at the empty bottle of pills on the floor; the floor, was covered in blood. She screamed when she realized my bed was empty, music played from my phone, -I hadn't heard it until this moment-, almost as a perfect background. I kept talking to her but she wouldn't hear me, "Mom I'm sorry, please stop ignoring me", but she wouldn't even look at me, she opened my closet door, and stared at something I couldn't see, she fell to her knees and began wailing. I walked towards my closet and found, myself.
"But how?" I yelled, I'm right here, I could see my body, covered in blood, I laid there with a tie around my neck, my mouth covered in saliva; "Momma I'm right here momma!!!".
But she never turned around, I tried hugging her, but my arms just ran through her. I couldn't even remember what made me do it, I was sad, but I didn't know why. I had tried it before, but I would always end up chickening out, what must've been hurtful enough to make me do it; why would I do it! She began calling 911... she just sat there, -it felt as if time stopped for me-. The ambulance arrived, I tried telling the paramedics I was right here: Maybe they could hear me, maybe someone would tell me this was just a prank, maybe I'd wake up staring at my bedroom wall; but no matter how many times I closed and open my eyes, it was still the same sad scene.
They picked the body up and put it on a stretcher, the medic checked for vitals, but he just stared at my mother's eyes, "I'm sorry", he said. They walked out of my room, and my mom followed them holding... holding MY hand, I couldn't deny it any longer, the person going into that ambulance was me. I screamed and I hollered, but they never returned, "I did it", I thought. I stood there all alone, crying. Suddenly a dark figure stood on the doorway, she raised her long thin fingers, extending her bony palm towards me; I held it,
I was no longer.
159 · Apr 2018
Shitty Poetry
- JP DeVille Apr 2018
"I'm tired of reading ****** poetry".
I say as I read back and forth,
"Poems aren't what they used to be",
They used to spark an emotion as powerful as a tempestous sea.
"They just don't make them like they used to before",
Not the type that made you cry or fall in love, not anymore.
Poems are not diaries, at least,
Not in my beliefs.
Then again, what can I call this?
Where's Whitman? or Hemingway?
Or Bukowski? where's Neruda?
Where are they when we mostly need them?
And who to replace them?
I just, for once, want something worth reading.
"I'm tired of reading ****** poetry".
I tell myself as I read this one.
159 · Aug 2017
Forgetting to Live
- JP DeVille Aug 2017
Once upon a time,
there was a man who wanted to live forever.
So he set out to find a way;
he visited monasteries,
studied many religions,
countless beliefs,
he even spoke to many mystics and magicians,
elders and morticians.
He spent his entire life
looking for a cure for death,
but he never could.
He realized death is the cure,
not a disease.
We are bound to be alive,
prisoners of our living freedom.
He spent so much time looking for
a way to live forever,
he forgot to live at all.
159 · Sep 2017
Seven Minutes
- JP DeVille Sep 2017
Seven:
They say you never hear the bullet that kills you,
and right now, I can't hear anything.
I can barely feel my hands,
My legs are numb.
I feel as if I were underwater.
My vision is turning crimson and darkening.

Six:
I'm so dizzy,
I can almost feel the earth rotating,
time is moving too fast for my perceptions.
In the distance between the smoke I can see a figure coming my way,
but no more than that.
God what did I do wrong?

Five:
My mother warned me about this,
this was exactly what she feared.
Father said to make him proud,
but I just ****** my pants.
What was my mistake? I was careful,
I fired my rifle just like I was trained,
I kept my eye on alert;
yet here I am laying in the middle of this field.

Four:
I remember playing this game many times as a child,
but I can't seem to find a way to call times out.
I've been tagged and it's no fun,
war is not a game,
I'd like to go back home.

Three:
I wonder if she'll miss me,
-why do I think of her now?-
I wonder if she loves me, or if she ever did.
I hope she'll move on, but maybe she already has.
Oh God it's cold, I'm frozen solid;
here in the middle of this desert, nor
the sun nor the sand can warm me up.

Two:
I see the shadow now much closer,
it's my buddy back from camp,
I carried him once back in training,
"I'm only returning the favor", he says. I can feel my body being lifted,
but I can't move my limbs.
My world is getting darker,
I don't think I'll make it.

One:
They say you never hear the bullet that kills you,
but I heard that one,
It wasn't meant for me.
I fall to the floor once more:
I can't see,
I can't hear,
I can't feel.
God if you exist, have mercy on my soul, and for all there is to know, protect my buddy.
I hope they'll know I love them,
take me in oh Lord.

Seven:
They say you never hear the bullet that kills you...
158 · Nov 2017
Blind Gardener
- JP DeVille Nov 2017
Oh my sweet flower,
I confused you for a rose;
I see now you were just a ****:
I saw you spreading on my neighbors backard.
I think it's time I cut you out.
158 · Sep 2018
My Machu Picchu
- JP DeVille Sep 2018
The sun can fade,
The skies can clear,
But I wont care,
Because I know,
You'll still be here.

We could grow old,
The years could roll,
But I'll be fine,
Because I know,
You'll still be mine.

Our paths could spread,
Our knots extend,
But I have faith,
If you love me now,
You'll love me then.

One never knows,
So we both stare,
I say I do,
Because I know,
I'll still be there.

They don't believe,
And call us fools,
But they don't know,
That even then,
I'll still be yours.

My love for you,
Will grow times ten,
Because I know,
If I love you now,
I'll love you then.
155 · May 2018
Within Me, Without You.
- JP DeVille May 2018
"It makes me wonder"
You whispered in my ear,
So many questions, so many answers.
Too many songs to hear.

So we let the guitar solo play,
Silent both at the red light.
Traveling without a destination ,
"Who cares? We have all night".

The lake looked dark and empty,
So you reached for a hand,
"Hold me tighter, I'm sinking down".
I lifted you, but I could barely stand.

"I never learned how to swim",
The land was too far, the waters too deep.
We'll find a way, so long as you stay,
"I'm scared". Hold me. Now sleep.

I won't fail you, reach over my shoulders,
"You must go, or we'll both drown"...
I tried, believe me, I couldn't swim.
I'm sorry, I let you down.

And as I head back down the road,
I can still hear your voice like a track,
Your whispers still echo in my ear,
"Don't go! Please! Please come back!

"Good bye, kid", so long my friend.
Must've been time for a new eve,
Guess this really is the end,
"I'm sorry still, but I must leave."

We only wanted to have fun,
But it was half past seven,
"I really must get home".
It was my fault, but now,
Now you're in heaven.
154 · Nov 2017
Your Silence, My Love
- JP DeVille Nov 2017
What do you see when you look at me?
When within your eyes you reflect my soul.
What do you taste when you kiss me?
I taste the burning passions that are now cold.

What million thoughts go through your mind?
When the words I love you sprout from my lips.
What countless secrets did your heart bind?
When it was someone else holding your hips.

What won't you tell me when you hold back?
Why is silence better my dear?
What did he do that hurt you so bad?
Why do you cry or what do you fear?

What was so wrong when I kissed you last night?
You quickly moved back and covered your self,
What darkness within you extinguished your light?
You've been hurt darling that's easy to tell.

I don't expect you to share your past,
I promised to love you that much is true,
I'm not your first but I'll be your last,
know pretty girl I'll be here for you.
154 · Oct 2017
Heads Or Tails
- JP DeVille Oct 2017
The moon sideways smiled at me,
but on the harbor it reflected the sadness I felt.
The ocean looked so vast and mysterious tonight,
almost as a clue begging to be discovered.

The pocketwatch under my shirt beat to my heart;
but I knew well the batteries were dying out.
My car behind was out of fuel,
there was no way back.

I had traveled far too many miles,
too many to walk,
too many wrong turns.

I could find a ride and be home by sunrise,
may be you'd still be there underneath the blankets;
but you swore I was out of time,
it was better to forget you.

To get you out of my head.

It's too late now,
there's no way out.
The moon cried beneath the sea,
and the shore looked so vast and mysterious tonight,
almost as a clue begging to be discovered.

The metal rails were cold and wet,
too slippery now to regret:
But I think I got it right this time.
Maybe if I don't exist,
you won't either.
153 · Oct 2017
Mi Raridad
- JP DeVille Oct 2017
Amor...
si un día te ofende el espejo,
ve por mis ojos,
y por ellos mira tu reflejo,
y ve lo hermosa que eres.

Si un día tu corazon es quebrantado,
toma el mio,
que siempre estara a tu lado,
y siente lo mucho que yo te eh amado.

Si un día el frío te congela,
siente el calor de mis manos,
cuáles tanto te anhelan,
y queman por tocar tus manos.

Si un día el cansancio te llega,
sube a mis hombros,
y toma una tregua,
que por ti sostendria hasta el mundo.

Y si un día la edad nos desvanece,
recuerda que como el sol,
que cada nuevo día más fuerte amanece,
así es mi amor por ti.
153 · Apr 2017
Bone smile
- JP DeVille Apr 2017
My grand uncle was a painter, he was a pretty famous artist in his town, he could draw anything from fruits, to flowers, even people, and he was very skilled at it, there was nothing he couldn’t paint, still he often called his skill a talent and a curse.
But my grand uncle was a very antisocial man, he never spoke to the family, never married after his wife left him, he lived alone with his paintings, so when his funeral came, no one from the family wanted to attend, but I couldn’t do that, he was simply an introvert, just like me, so I alone went to his burial.
It was a very small gathering, mostly people interested in buying his work, which obviously, me being the only attending relative, had the “honor” of deciding what would be done of the drawings, truly I didn’t care, but the way the funeral attorney handed them to me, it seemed though they were a lot more valuable than I knew, plus maybe with some research they could be sold at a much higher price than I was being offered.
Once home after a six hour drive, I decided to take a look at his painting, all wrapped in old fancy yellow covers, each with an odd yet fascinating title, metal horse, cold fire, color less hearts, and so on and so on, one by one I critiqued them with great detail, I could surely make at least $10,000 of them, I thought while gathering the wrappings, I picked up the package they came in and another canvas hiding at the bottom made its way out, falling on the carpet face down, and “Do not open” written all over it in red tint.
Intriguing I thought, this must be my uncle’s most precious painting, and probably the one I’ll get more money for, dropping everything to the side, I quickly picked up the canvas ready to view this man’s greatest work of art, when  a deafening knock on the door chilled me to the bones, who could be knocking this late at night? I asked myself, placing the painting next to the others.
I opened the door to find nothing, nobody, no sign of life, strange I thought, maybe it was just the wind or the sound of the television in the background, I walked back inside intrigued and anxious to view the painting, but it was gone, I had just placed it above the table, where could it have gone? I search frantically all around the living room, only to find it hiding under the couch, and the words facing up as if repeatedly warning me.
It’s very late at night and my mind surely was playing tricks on me, all I needed was a good night’s rest and I’d feel better in the morning, or so I thought. I took the picture with me back upstairs to my bed room, placing it under a watch in the night stand, assuring myself it was just an accident, it was just the funeral still in my mind, I closed my eyes and finally fell sleep.
It was three in the morning when I awoke again by the sound of someone knocking at my door, drowsy I made my way downstairs turning on every light as I go, I opened the door with my right hand clinching my phone on the left, again, nothing, I felt a cold breeze blowing through my robes, almost as if pushing me back inside, quickly I made my way back upstairs and instantly fall asleep.
       In my dreams, or better, nightmares, I saw my grandfather drawing another painting on the corner next to the window where he always placed his canvas, yet I couldn’t see which painting it was, all I could see was the window quickly changing from day to night, day after day, night after night, but he wouldn’t move, it was as if the painting controlled him, I could hear the phone ringing in the background, then sent to voicemail, the voices of family members worried for him, the same family members who refused to attend his funeral, but he was so concentrated on his work he wouldn’t even break concentration, not even when I screamed at him to wake up.
         But it was I who woke up, I could swear I heard a voice screaming at me, just as I screamed at my grandfather to wake up, I reached for the flashlight inside the nightstand but it wouldn’t turn on, I tried inspecting my room with only the light from the moon, but it was still too dark, I blindly reached for the painting, and instead found my watch with nothing under it, fear finally shocked me when I began hearing a scream in my great uncle’s voice, Don’t open it! Don’t open it! Return it to me! It’s the only way! My body began to shake and shiver, sweat dropped from my head, I fell back to my bed stunned with fright, not being able to move until my body fell asleep on its own.
I woke up in my living room couch, the wall clock marking 11:30, the paintings still on the table, I picked up the package and a picture fell, it read “Do not open”, I thought to myself maybe it was all just a horrible dream, when suddenly a loud knock brought me back to reality, who could be knocking this late at night?...
I have the painting that inspired this but can't seem to add the picture of it...
152 · May 2017
Pill number 13
- JP DeVille May 2017
I'm addicted to pain.
Maybe cause I'm immune to it,
I suffer what three souls couldn't handle.
but no matter how many times
I put on the rope,
how many pills I swallow,
how many times I pull the trigger,
the **** bullet will not come out.

Death herself does not want me,
so I lay here, and suffer.
I go to sleep every night, wishing for death.
Hoping to never wake up again,
and I wake up every morning,
wishing I hadn't,
wishing I had died painlessly in my sleep.

In the night the demons follow me, during the day they wear masks,
"I am tired",
"I am fine",
"I'm just tired",
"I'm fine".
Well I'm not!!!
I am dying inside, I am miserable,
and I only spread misery.
I don't want to suffer through death, but I want to die.

I don't want pity,
I just want things to be different,
I don't want to fail at what I hope to do, because,
almost dying changes nothing,
dying changes everything.
I am screaming at the four winds, hoping my shouts will stop it.
I am begging for help;
but I don't want attention.

I don't want pity,
so I lay here and swallow another pill,
I reload the gun,
I grab the rope,
I'm miserable.
I'm lonely.
I'm dying.
I am,
but I want to be,
I was....
152 · Jun 2017
Writer's Block
- JP DeVille Jun 2017
I stand behind a wall,
a mural,
a long stretched out, great barrier,
a monument made of bricks,
but no cement.
A border,
a wall I cannot cross;
for each brick
must first be removed,
but for every brick I take off,
two more blocks are put to take its place.
This is impossible,
when will I be able to continue on my journey,
if no matter how hard I try,
I'm still trapped
behind this huge block.
150 · Apr 2018
Prima Donna (Sonnet)
- JP DeVille Apr 2018
Tell me darling do you still remember?
When I kissed you under the sky so blue.
And can you still feel that cold December?
Under the covers I made love to you.

Oh lover let your mind never forget,
Us two dancing under the heavy rain.
And oh dear may your heart never regret,
Or your sole reminder will be the pain.

Oh honey if you don't love me no more,
Don't kiss my forehead when it's all a lie.
Go on leave the nest and walk out the door.
Our love is a dying fire, so let it die.

If nothing else matters I love you still,
And thinking about it, I always will.
- JP DeVille Nov 2017
I'll fly and spill my blood over the canvas,
and I'll paint once more over this blackness;
to me the saints shall fructify what I now lack,
all this will happen, when I get my powers back.

I shall laugh and cry and feel once more,
it will come when at last I find my core:
I feel it soon my talent will return,
move out get out once it's my turn.
Inspiration will strike me like a fire,
and once more against this world I will conspire.

I shall live a writer,
Or I shall die a fighter.
149 · Oct 2017
The Accident Ghost
- JP DeVille Oct 2017
It happened unexpectedly,
one second everything was fine,
then suddenly it all went quiet.
Cries could be heard three streets down,
fractures bones and totaled cars captured the moment best.
Within minutes first responders arrived,
four patrol cars,
three ambulances,
two firetrucks,
one dead man.
I sat up from my vehicle,
with pain running down to my toes,
the officers were walking up and down the vehicles taking records,
meanwhile the firemen with the help of the paramedics tried to get the hurt people out of their cars.
I waited as they made their way down to my car, so they could pop this darned seatbelt of off my chest;
but they didn't stop at my vehicle,
"This one's gone!" yelled the medic to the sargeant.
I could swear that's what he said, even with the aching pain in the back of my head numbing my ears.
I watched them walk away to the next vehicle through the rearview mirror,
then I saw my reflection, I could not see myself, just a swollen ****** head resting on the car side.
148 · Oct 2017
Mirror Thieves
- JP DeVille Oct 2017
You say it's not original,
or that you've read that before,
you must do a hell lot of reading.

I've never strived for originality,
many search for that, I don't.

Its not possible.

I'm not Shakespeare,
I don't steal other people's work.

If I wrote what I wanted to,
well it'd be a whole different story,
if I wrote what I wanted to,
I'd be Cohen by now.

but I don't.

I don't write poems,
poems write me;
maybe by now my razor blade isn't sharp enough,
maybe by now my pencil has become blunt:

But I know one thing many don't;

my poems are an autobiography,
my life is the one I make up.
148 · Apr 2017
To my caramel eyes...
- JP DeVille Apr 2017
How can you love me when you don't know me?
I stopped.
How can I love you if I don't know you?
But I do, I know all I should know about you.
I know you have the most gorgeous hazel eyes I've ever seen.
I know your brown hair shines brighter against the sun.
I know you stop and gaze at the distance when you can't stop thinking about your future.
I know your favorite color by the shade of blue your shirts always have.
I also know you don't love me back.
I know you hate when my dirt colored eyes stare at you like an idiot.
I know you hate the way the curls in my hair cover my forehead.
I know you hate that I think you are my future.
and I know you couldn't care less that my favorite color has changed to blue.
But I never asked you to love me back;
I never asked for a reply,
I said I love you without proof.
But why should I need any?
Just like a blind man crosses the street, hoping nothing will turn him from his path.
I opened my heart to the gun you held in your hand;
hoping you wouldn't pull the trigger,
I don't care where you came from,
I couldn't care what others think.
I want you for who you are,
not for your body but for your heart.
Let me love you, how can that hurt you,
Let you be the air my lungs want to breathe;
be the inspiration for the beauty of what's life.
I'm not asking you to love me,
so why are you trying to reject me?
I don't ask you to be mine,
you already are in my dreams either way.
All I ask is when I'm quiet, don't think I'm lonely or I'm crying,
I'm simply dreaming I'm holding your hand.
148 · Mar 2018
Red Bird
- JP DeVille Mar 2018
"What kind of bird is that?"
I ask as she shows me the photographs she took.
"It's a cardinal. There's many around my house."
"You should stick to photography, make a career out of it, I'm sure you'd be a great photographer!"
I love taking pictures, but my odds of ever becoming famous are slim."
She says it not only admitting defeat so soon, turning away from her dream, but also the dream of her number one fan, myself...
That's a lovely cardinal then!
146 · Apr 2017
The Best Boyfriend...
- JP DeVille Apr 2017
I kept the candy wrapper,
the one you said to throw away.
I kept the notes you taped in them,
because between me and you...
I still love you.

I held the notes,
as you once held my hands.
I kept the why’s, you took the reasons;
because I promised to never leave you,
Even when you said I wasn’t.

I ate the candy, I hope you know.
You said you knew they were my favorite,
and from then on, they were.
I’m allergic to peanut butter,
so I can never eat any again,
maybe I should put some on your lips…
146 · Oct 2017
Bukowski's Lost Poem
- JP DeVille Oct 2017
What was it you crazy old drunk!
Will you ever tell me?
What words were written on those walls?
Was it love? Was it hate? Was it grief?
Am I too late?

How many beers did you chug that night?
Now we can't figure out the enigma
of what could have been.
And what words did you use?
What rhymes were they?
Did it even rhyme?

Does heaven have a memory card?
Will we find it then?
Grumpy old man you blew it!
If you ever find it in heaven or hell,
old man please do tell.

I pray you find it,
"Lets hope so,
for your sake and mine".
144 · Nov 2017
Loosen The Strings
- JP DeVille Nov 2017
When it's someone else kissing you,
and his lips just aren't enough.
When it's me thats missing you,
Will you remember me then?

When he makes love to you,
but he cant take your breath away.
When his home becomes your cage,
will you remember me then?

When silence is your only companion,
and the darkness in your room fills your soul.
When your heart calls my name,
will you remember me then?

When you finally think of me,
and of all the times that you hurt me.
Remember love the words I said,
beauty fades but love remains.

But by then, I won't love you.
143 · Oct 2017
What Would Warren Do?
- JP DeVille Oct 2017
I went down to the Hawaiian cafe after work on Friday night, as I usually do.
I sat down on the same wooden stool, ordered the usual plate, the "special" sandwich, courtesy of the cook.
And the same old glass of whiskey mixed with lemon and a shot of tequila; the bartender by then had memorized how I liked it.
The bar by then knew my routine.
I sat on my usual spot, the corner table near the window, it granted me a hint of fresh air, and a complementary view of the moon's reflection on the harbor; it also gave me a full view of the place and a front row seat to the stage of drunks fighting over the pool table.
The young brunette waitress with the romantic Spanish accent came by and placed the week's newspaper on the table, as she always did.
I took a bite of the sandwich, getting a bit of ham and avocado between my teeth, the bar didn't have avocado in the menu, but the cook was good at remembering who placed a few bills in the tip jar.
Finally curiosity got to me and I reached for the newspaper, silencing out anything out of my view, slowly reaching complete tranquility.
But a loud tud on the door and giant footsteps on the wooden creaking floor brought me back from trying to solve this week's ****** stamped on the front cover. A tall, fat, bald, typical, drunk guy in his thirties, maybe forties, walked in and sat by the bar area, promptly scaring away all of the new folks.
The bald man made it a point to prove he was the meanest dog in the pound, but he was too drunk to think, he must've already been drinking on his way here, and what he had for muscle in his brain he'd given it up for muscle in his arms.
He caught me glancing at him as I flipped the page, and by the character he carried it was clear he despised eye contact.
Still, I went on reading through the countless of murders and disappearances this shady town had daily, until I reached the last line and flipped to the next ******.
And to no surprise, there were his eyes, still locked in mine; without turning he asked the bartender for two shots, one for him, and one for the man with the newspaper.
Again came the radiant waitress with the glass, which I raised as a form of thanking him, and kept on reading, taking one more bite of that delicious sandwich.
Once more did the waitress return, with yet another shot, it was clear it was a challenge, but I'm not a much of a fighter, never been.
Still, it would've been dishonorable to deny his offer, so once more I poured one down.
"Keep it coming", yelled the tall drunk, and knowing how greedy the bartender was, I knew he'd abide.
They kept coming shot after shot, seems though we were playing till one passed out, or vomited.
I grabbed yet another glass, but using the cover the newspaper provided, I let the harbor take the shots, and as he kept them coming, I kept them going, but in a match against the seas, the seas always win.
Right after the tenth shot it seemed he got tired or was out of bills, so he walked towards me with a "dos equis" in his right hand, almost staggering my way.
"Do you think you're better than me?" he yelled through the smell of liquor in his mouth.
I took a bite of my sandwich and handed that gorgeous waitress the glasses back, I'm sure this place couldn't afford replacing broken glassware.
My silence angered him more than any insult I could've thrown at him, "Who do you think you are staring me down?" Once more he shouted, alerting the cook it was time to hide the knives.
He grabbed the newspaper from the side of the table and crumbled it, flinging it behind him, "Are you mute or are you stupid?" He mocked.
Still, I wasn't finished with my sandwich, so I took another bite and drank some more, threatened he chugged the rest of the bottle, trying to prove he could still outdrink me.
It was clear he was worse for wear, so I just watched the clock above the doorway, it was around the time the drunks began dragging themselves home; even the waitress was drinking away with the loners in the back table; while the morning risers began a new poker round; the bartender sat on a stool drinking his loneliness away with the rest of the factory workers:
Meanwhile I was dealing with this brute.
"You got one last chance to speak up!" Barked the drunk giant, clearly fading away.
I took a final bite out of my sandwich, washing it down with the last drop of whiskey.
Pushing the stool back I stood up and vowed heads with the cook, symbolizing I'd be back next week.
Walking past him I padded the now passed out bartender, probably my only friend; the only man that knew me better than my father.
The bald giant followed, blocking the door way, forcing me to at last acknowledge him, all eyes met in our direction, awaiting entertainment.
I placed my hands in my jacket pockets, he grinned.
With the bottle still in his hand, he smashed it against the wall, probably trying to use it as a weapon; but he made a big, bad, dumb, drunk, mistake, his face was far too close to the ricocheting shards, and the mighty giant fell and passed out covering his eyes.
The waitress reached for the wall phone and dialed an ambulance, so I walked out and went for a swim, after all, I had to congratulate the sea for such a victory!
143 · Apr 2017
Coma
- JP DeVille Apr 2017
I breathe in.
I breathe out.
I open my eyes.
I blink.
I hear a sound.
I listen.
A shadow touches me,
yet I don't feel it.
I cry out for help,
but no sound comes out.
The shadow walks away,
and I beg her not to leave.
But its all complete silence.
I try to reach for her hand,
but I can't move.
I am (e)motionless,
a statue,
all I accomplish is a single tear.
She abandons me, I'm left alone,
to the sound of my heartbeat,
slowly beating.
The night covers me.
I am but a shadow.
a memory.
I miss her.
143 · Apr 2017
And when...
- JP DeVille Apr 2017
When the sun rises from the west,
I will forget you.
When rivers run upstream,
I will let you go.
When spring comes in November,
and autumn falls in june.
When God himself tells me to stop loving you,
only then, and then will I go on.
142 · Nov 2017
You Before Me
- JP DeVille Nov 2017
I wish you'd feel the fear I have at night.
I wish you'd kiss my lips and make things right.
I wish you had the strength to hold on tight.
I wish my darkness had a ray of light.

If you could see the future through my eyes.
If you could see there's truth between my lies.
If you could see the things that my heart hides.
If you could take me in to paradise.

Maybe someday we both will have the time.
Maybe one day I'll find that perfect rhyme.
Maybe some day our spirits will entwine.
Maybe one day I'll finally call you mine.
142 · Jan 2018
Cloudy Eyes
- JP DeVille Jan 2018
Even in rainy days the sun is still out there,
somewhere...

Therefore I have faith that one day you'll return,
someday...
142 · Apr 2017
P
- JP DeVille Apr 2017
P
I precariously prepare the play poetry,
patiently pondering the plane paper.
Part by part I paint the possibilities;
to pertain this performance perfectly
I pick P.
It is poison; I proceed,
problematic,
-even-,
precise predicates
I place, it's a paradox. Perdition.
To picture my pain the persona must
posture my part: I progress without
precipitating my predicament,
pursuing the proximity of an end,
puzzling, pushing, and punching without progress.
Oh please let my precedent come to pass,
prefacing the end.
The plague is over.
141 · Nov 2017
Cancer Wins This One...
- JP DeVille Nov 2017
If by the time you wake,
I am no longer here,
darling please don't miss me,
don't even shed a tear.

You won't find me in other people,
don't bother searching for my face.
Sweetheart I hope you'll realize,
I'm in a better place.

I pray that you'll forgive me,
When you call and no one answers the phone.
I hope you won't forget me,
when you're living in someone else's home.

Darling I'm sorry I won't come back,
please know I fought the good fight,
but this time I lost the war.
140 · Jul 2017
Mailed to you
- JP DeVille Jul 2017
Baby I've met someone else,
she has gorgeous dark hair;
she likes to hear all my tales,
I think we make a beautiful pair.

Baby her hand fits in mine,
just like yours did back then;
but maybe I'm wasting her time,
comparing her to you back when.

Baby she listens to the same music you do,
she even likes the same singer as you;
her favorite song is the one we danced to,
Oh baby, I'm still loving you.
140 · May 2017
Little Kevin...
- JP DeVille May 2017
Like a cold morning on a summer day;
as fast as the wings of a hummingbird.
Within the blink of an eye,
you gleefully traced a smile on my face.
Then you flew back to heaven leaving no trace.
Until I see you again my boy
140 · Jul 2017
Party Crashing Heaven
- JP DeVille Jul 2017
I was looking at the night sky from a hill,
feeling the fresh breeze kissing my face,
with nothing running through my mind,
except for the portrait of you;
the one I keep on the right wall of my heart.

The moon looked like a giant disco ball,
and the heavens were the dance floors;
the passing satellites were microphones,
you and I were the dancers,
and the stars our record players.

We danced through the constellations,
forming love hearts with our feet.
The minutes became millenniums,
and it was just you and I,
dancing alongside the angels.

But a morning light began ascending,
and the sun arose from the horizon,
burning through the portrait of you:
The music stopped playing,
and my stars were dying out.

My dream became a nightmare,
but it was just reality waking me up,
I was alone in the mountain top.
And it saddened me to see,
you'll be happier without me.
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