nervous, excited, tapping fingers on the desk
moves your hand to start, just to put it down
the first stroke on a blank canvas
but it's more than that
it's the first canvas to go on a blank wall
one that has no personality or feeling yet
the first thing people see when they come into your home
like standing behind a curtain, waiting to show yourself
how do you dress that day?
what do you let them see?
first impressions are so important
nobody knows you here
nobody's opinion comes from things you've done in the past
nobody knows anything other than what you tell them
it's a fresh start
so what's your first words?
who are you without the past clinging to your ankles
how fast can you run when you're somewhere with no chains
the traits you had to make to keep yourself safe
can be left at the door
this is you
purely yourself at it's truest form
no reason to hide anything
you can let your heart bleed onto this paper
with no fear or hesitation
you can take off the armor you've built

so why am I still scared...

why is it so hard to remember who I was
before the walls went up
before the act started
before surviving became the first priority
even above being happy or comfortable
even above being me

so who am I

am I ready to meet myself?