My head is spinning, and i cant seem to stabilize.
I feel the constant pressure of stress that continues to rise.
So much to do but i am held captive by my fight or flight.
Frozen in place not sure which movement is right.
Feels like a heart attack this level of anxiety! Full force panic i don’t know how to break free!
From one task to another i coast through my day.
Nothing ever getting finished my failures on display!
I go to bed at night exhaustion overwhelming me,
but lie awake antagonized by the voices i cant break free!
Sleep does no good anyway when peace is what you need.
Ask myself if you believe the smile or enjoy watching me bleed?
Look in the mirror at my eyes then quickly look away.
When did the hollow grow so deep i fall down and pray!
God i am not sure i can take another lesson…
i feel blown apart lost with no direction..
I know growth is painful and change is hard…
But i feel so shattered nothing but a shard..
Where are you God?  Please don’t leave me in this place.
Sitting here afraid and hurting but seeking your face.

My heart is so heavy i can hardly breathe, just weighted down by the loss of things i haven’t had time to grieve.
Keep moving forward whatever you do don’t stop . Tuck this in, don’t think about that, juggle don’t drop.
Ignore the pain,  just cover and cloak, tell yourself a lie. With the truth you wont be able to cope.
Too much too much and then theres more.  More days than not just breathing is a chore.
In a world of brokenness and regret there seems to be so little compassion or respect.
Carrying more than i ever let show trying hard to learn to let go.
Don’t want  to be a burden, but i need a soft place to fall. Not asking for pity but answer my call.
Hope is fading and i am drowning, but i love you i am here keeps resounding.
Out of your own pain you hold me in mine, through your own darkness a light you shine.
Though you struggle you wont  leave me to drown. With love and a smile you straighten my crown.
Without these women where would i be? I have no words for what you mean to me.

I feel the adrenaline rush within my veins.
I'm angry, you're angry, we act insane!

You say words you can't take back.
I say words, smack for smack.

Your sullen and grouchy when you get home.
Taking everyone's head off, like a dog gnawing a bone.

I'm quiet and resentful, pulling away.
Swearing to myself I will not stay.

Our house is like a battle field.
Each member just a casualty of war!
But we've been so busy fighting,
we don't even remember what we should be fighting for!!

My body is drawn to tight like a rubber band about to break.
I feel the desperation, the longing this staggering ragged ache!
My heartbeat is frantic, my mind such a jumbled slur.
Too much! too much! I know I’m not enough this time for sure.
There is no putting out the Fires that are raging beyond my control.
The build up and stuffing down of anxiety and stress is taking its toll.
I Do not know where to start...  i do not know where it all ends.
But i know i am at my limit beyond the reach my body bends.

Secrets and lies!
Betrayals and alibis!
No one to trust!
No where to turn!
Don’t put yourself out there unless you want to get burned!

Heartache and pain!
Thunderstorms with acid rain!
It washes away dreams, hopes, all traces!
Nothing left just empty spaces!

You give it all, and when nothings left...
You find you’ve died, and no one is bereft.

We start out young so full of hopes and dreams!
By the time we are old we know nothing is as it seems!

Disappointed,
Disillusioned,
Heartbroken,
Lost!
Whats the point? When you add up the cost..

No one who you can feel at home with.
No one who understands.
No one to guide you.
No one to hold your hands.

How did you get here from where you started?
Peace and hope from you seems long ago parted!

Innocence lost and been replaced
Cynicism and denial taking up the space.