Secrets and lies!
Betrayals and alibis!
No one to trust!
No where to turn!
Don’t put yourself out there unless you want to get burned!

Heartache and pain!
Thunderstorms with acid rain!
It washes away dreams, hopes, all traces!
Nothing left just empty spaces!

You give it all, and when nothings left...
You find you’ve died, and no one is bereft.

We start out young so full of hopes and dreams!
By the time we are old we know nothing is as it seems!

Disappointed,
Disillusioned,
Heartbroken,
Lost!
Whats the point? When you add up the cost..

No one who you can feel at home with.
No one who understands.
No one to guide you.
No one to hold your hands.

How did you get here from where you started?
Peace and hope from you seems long ago parted!

Innocence lost and been replaced
Cynicism and denial taking up the space.

I feel the adrenaline rush within my veins.
I'm angry, you're angry, we act insane!

You say words you can't take back.
I say words, smack for smack.

Your sullen and grouchy when you get home.
Taking everyone's head off, like a dog gnawing a bone.

I'm quiet and resentful, pulling away.
Swearing to myself I will not stay.

Our house is like a battle field.
Each member just a casualty of war!
But we've been so busy fighting,
we don't even remember what we should be fighting for!!

When you throw a stone in the water it sends ripples out, not one place is left untouched no matter how stout.
Imagine each of us are water, and things we say and do are the stones. We are constantly sending out ripples the affect unknown.
We tell ourselves in the moment, "only I will feel the change.", but so many others lives it tends to rearrange.
If we stopped even for a moment to consider the cost. To think about the effect what might be lost!
If we felt the connection to the others who are around. If we realized the ripple might be profound.
Each one of us connected to another in some way. So many stones the waters intensely sway.

My body is drawn to tight like a rubber band about to break.
I feel the desperation, the longing this staggering ragged ache!
My heartbeat is frantic, my mind such a jumbled slur.
Too much! too much! I know I’m not enough this time for sure.
There is no putting out the Fires that are raging beyond my control.
The build up and stuffing down of anxiety and stress is taking its toll.
I Do not know where to start...  i do not know where it all ends.
But i know i am at my limit beyond the reach my body bends.

Im so sorry that i let you down. It hurts more than you know that I’m responsible for that frown.  

You cant please everyone thats what they say, but i serve up my heart on a silver tray.

I try not to breathe afraid of this ache. scared to move, one wrong step might cause the glass to break!

Walking on egg shells everywhere, all around, don’t say to much, hold it in, don’t shake the already unstable ground.

I can pretend i don’t have to be truly me, i can only show what they want to see.

Dial it back, hold it in, “we don’t air our ***** laundry you know.” Smile, just pretend, put on a show.

I long in my heart to be authentic with you, but i dont think you want the version that is true.

Pain in waves...
Lost inside...
Nowhere to turn to.
Nowhere to hide.
Desperate to make things better,
Unsure about how.
Where do i start?
What do i do now?
Children are a blessing,
But apparently i am doing it all wrong!
So much keeps coming....
And i am just not that strong!
Losing the fight to an ache that overtakes me.
I know the Lord provides.....
But right now i just cant see.

My heart is so heavy i can hardly breathe, just weighted down by the loss of things i haven’t had time to grieve.
Keep moving forward whatever you do don’t stop . Tuck this in, don’t think about that, juggle don’t drop.
Ignore the pain,  just cover and cloak, tell yourself a lie. With the truth you wont be able to cope.
Too much too much and then theres more.  More days than not just breathing is a chore.
In a world of brokenness and regret there seems to be so little compassion or respect.
Carrying more than i ever let show trying hard to learn to let go.
Don’t want  to be a burden, but i need a soft place to fall. Not asking for pity but answer my call.
Hope is fading and i am drowning, but i love you i am here keeps resounding.
Out of your own pain you hold me in mine, through your own darkness a light you shine.
Though you struggle you wont  leave me to drown. With love and a smile you straighten my crown.
Without these women where would i be? I have no words for what you mean to me.