The purple lights hung above us,
Illuminating the impending doom.
My eyes begged, as they looked into yours,
Sealed eternally, in our lavender tomb.

I still see you in the hallway,
A nightly matinee just for me.
You hugged me three times goodbye,
As my heart fell between my knees.

A lump formed in the back of my throat,
As my mind said “just go with the flow”.
A million words circled in my head,
insecurity won, so instead I watched you go.

You can call me crazy,
You can shut the door in my face,
convince the jesters around you
not to believe a single word I say.

You can play pretend with your friends,
making jokes at my expense.
You'll laugh, while I go hide,
"It's just a joke" is your defense.

You can bury my name in the dirt, you can take away my choice.
You can try to silence me when I speak, but you cannot take my voice.

You can pretend you didn't beat me, hide it from the world
you know, the time you used your entire fist, to hit a 4'10" girl.

Remember when you knocked me down?
You hit me so hard, I saw stars.
As I fell to the ground, they circled my head round and round.

But you didn't stop there, you were feeling tough.
Lying on the forest floor, you kicked me in the gut.

I wish I could say that was the last time, sadly, that wasn't the case.
Your sinister ways always popped up,
Leaving destruction in their wake.

Running like a coward,
you never could learn from your mistakes. hurting women back-to-back to back.
Compliant friends and family,
Giving you the okay.

I know you probably think
I’m only trying to ruin your life.
But it's not as simple as that
I'm speaking up to reclaim mine!

I’ve been trying to grow from the fallout.
I masked so long, I burned my life down.
The flames took you with them when I threw in the first match,
There is no coming back from something like that.
I never knew what to say,
But you’re still on my mind every day.

I sit at the spot where I saw you last,
I’ve been holding on too long to the past.
I tried to be who they wanted me to be,
it was too much and I had to be free.

I never believed in myself enough,
Too soft for love, too hurt to be tough.
I did a lot of things and i live to fix that,
Sending clever messages, hoping you’d text back.

I didn’t mean take things that far,
I always had to mend my own scars.
My family left me battered and bruised,
and the world left me feeling used.
Somehow I got lost along the way,
Never knew how to trust, or whose hand to take.

It’s easy to say I’m ****** in the head,
But I’ve learned to give myself grace, instead.
I’ve grown a lot from the things I’ve said,
And even if you never forgive me,
I’ll find my own peace,
and I’ll learn to forgive myself instead.