I'd rather be lonely than be by myself
I hate my room
I already put my pride on the shelf
Because I don't need help from anyone else
Everyone knows I've been feeling so low
I'm still out of character
"Reckless kid"
Now I'm a lost cause and truth be told
I lie too much to everyone, my bad
Do I even have to start working on it?

I thought I'd die young
All the things I liked failed me
I'll go to hell, I don't even care
I'm staring at a screen where no one stares
I wanna rip out all my insides
Feel every fiber
I don't know how to be myself
I know that it's all costumes
Funny dances that play in my mind
I won't hold on to something familiar
They keep letting me down
I'm just gonna acknowledge the gifts from my past


Until I run out of time

I think I'm out of luck
They left I'm so shaken up
Indecisions embracing
Incisions embroidered
So undecided
Is that how I walk?
I think I've lost myself
Went on a separate way
Feelings were never the same
I held onto you
With nothing to prove
nothing to prove
We held on longer
but now you're out of reach
said you'll hold on
but is it necessary to let go of me?
all the time I left wasted
how can I regret it?


this endless sea


The season continues
and it's hard to grieve
When the night comes fast
and I keep looking at strangers
I don't know how to cope
Close your eyes and pretend it's them
It's a lost cause
I wanted you to know
There's nothing to prove
But I keep on changing
I had a choice and I put a tie on it
Still feeling I'm still waiting
Hold that regretting

this endless sea
this endless sea
this endless sea
this endless sea
this endless sea
this endless sea

This thing is a no hope, close case, long road, and I'm pretty sure things have changed
Started getting that feeling that the time got stabbed and everything is bleeding out
Watched the color turn into yellow morphing into black and grey
The light's leaking
It's confusing how I see it now, can't afford to waste anymore because Every step gone forth is always a step back
and you can see it on my face
Do I still hold for longer?
It's not fair when you're out of reach, said you'll hold on
but is it necessary to let go of me?
all the time I left wasted

how can I regret it?
how can I regret it?
how can I regret it?
how can I regret it?
how can I regret it?
how can I regret it?

I think it's time I had a reset
It wasn't something I didn't foresee yet
Deep breath, reset.

It really hurts to play the part
I kept on running from the past you
I guess I didn't really have too
And I miss the clouds up high

Skyscrapers I am running
And I miss the sounds of the night

Saying that I could be something to you
or maybe I'll be nothing
I've nothing to prove

It all hurts the same way

i've lived
in a short time
all of it
for a moment
i am
but i am

ALWAYS CATCH ME PICKING SIDES
******* HATE THESE TEARY EYES
OVERDOSE WHILE TELLING LIES
ALWAYS TEARING UP MY ******* HAIR
DOING THINGS LIKE I DONT CARE
ALWAYS LOOKING FOR MORE DESPAIR
I DONT WANNA ******* CARE

i have no more direction
**** all these perfections
i have no more direction
and i'm so ******* scared

ALWAYS CATCH ME PICKING SIDES
******* HATE THESE TEARY EYES
OVERDOSE WHILE TELLING LIES
ALWAYS TEARING UP MY ******* HAIR
DOING THINGS LIKE I DONT CARE
ALWAYS LOOKING FOR MORE DESPAIR
I DONT WANNA ******* CARE

go pull up stare at the scene

In the table taking big shots
Making my eyes get blurry so I can't see
Making it more seems I don't wanna be alive
There's a hole in my being and you keep putting your hand in
Testing the waters like we always did

Is this the part where we hit up?
Always spend it on a *** talk
I don't wanna talk with a feeling
I don't wanna sit with my feelings

Come right at me and I can tell where this is headed
I wake up with you and I know where it'll end up
I don't need you like I did every winter
Always taking me way too long to recover
You keep remembering my hands around your neck
And I keep replaying it in my head

Your smell made me weak in the knees
If I keep thinking it's a game maybe I'll figure it out
Now the ringing is too loud

So **** that
This isn't an attachment
It's a trauma response
They said I need a therapist
Making up for the past again, and again, and again

I'll be honest, seeing you is a contest
And I don't wanna do it anymore

Crying my eyes out
And you keep showing me you're an empath
I'm sorry if I didn't like that