In the table taking big shots
Making my eyes get blurry so I can't see
Making it more seems I don't wanna be alive
There's a hole in my being and you keep putting your hand in
Testing the waters like we always did
Is this the part where we hit up?
Always spend it on a *** talk
I don't wanna talk with a feeling
I don't wanna sit with my feelings
Come right at me and I can tell where this is headed
I wake up with you and I know where it'll end up
I don't need you like I did every winter
Always taking me way too long to recover
You keep remembering my hands around your neck
And I keep replaying it in my head
Your smell made me weak in the knees
If I keep thinking it's a game maybe I'll figure it out
Now the ringing is too loud
So **** that
This isn't an attachment
It's a trauma response
They said I need a therapist
Making up for the past again, and again, and again
I'll be honest, seeing you is a contest
And I don't wanna do it anymore
Crying my eyes out
And you keep showing me you're an empath
I'm sorry if I didn't like that
You hate it, but you still end up doing it.