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Mikko Mar 2023
i've lived
in a short time
all of it
for a moment
i am
but i am

ALWAYS CATCH ME PICKING SIDES
******* HATE THESE TEARY EYES
OVERDOSE WHILE TELLING LIES
ALWAYS TEARING UP MY ******* HAIR
DOING THINGS LIKE I DONT CARE
ALWAYS LOOKING FOR MORE DESPAIR
I DONT WANNA ******* CARE

i have no more direction
**** all these perfections
i have no more direction
and i'm so ******* scared

ALWAYS CATCH ME PICKING SIDES
******* HATE THESE TEARY EYES
OVERDOSE WHILE TELLING LIES
ALWAYS TEARING UP MY ******* HAIR
DOING THINGS LIKE I DONT CARE
ALWAYS LOOKING FOR MORE DESPAIR
I DONT WANNA ******* CARE

go pull up stare at the scene
Mikko Mar 2023
In the table taking big shots
Making my eyes get blurry so I can't see
Making it more seems I don't wanna be alive
There's a hole in my being and you keep putting your hand in
Testing the waters like we always did

Is this the part where we hit up?
Always spend it on a *** talk
I don't wanna talk with a feeling
I don't wanna sit with my feelings

Come right at me and I can tell where this is headed
I wake up with you and I know where it'll end up
I don't need you like I did every winter
Always taking me way too long to recover
You keep remembering my hands around your neck
And I keep replaying it in my head

Your smell made me weak in the knees
If I keep thinking it's a game maybe I'll figure it out
Now the ringing is too loud

So **** that
This isn't an attachment
It's a trauma response
They said I need a therapist
Making up for the past again, and again, and again

I'll be honest, seeing you is a contest
And I don't wanna do it anymore

Crying my eyes out
And you keep showing me you're an empath
I'm sorry if I didn't like that
You hate it, but you still end up doing it.
Mikko Feb 2023
If home is where my heart is
Then I'm living in my own denial
Got no place to call home
I feel foreign in my own mind
I'm tired of living like this
Everything is hardly mine
Dreams getting smaller
The blue is getting stained
Even when I rearranged it
My name doesn't even make sense
I can't do this anymore
All things weigh me down
If home is where my heart is
Then I'm living in my own denial

I'm not stuck, I'm just tired
Even familiar places are getting foreign

I know I don't belong
I'm better when gone
Mikko Jan 2023
My spirit is disturbed by you
Because you treated it so well
So throw me a lifeline
Is it all sci-fi to you?

Gorgeous like cypress
How do I serve you
I’m under your spell
Be my devotion

Waiting for an omen
Drowning in an ocean
Floating to the moment
Mikko Jan 2023
Another day, another week, another year
I’m not a mess I’m just depressed
I wanna disappear
I stay inside so I can hide

Keep suppressing depression
I don’t want to see my reflection
I run to hide from the pressure
A temporary surrender

I’m not a mess I’m just depressed
I wanna disappear
Think I just need some rest

Don’t need no friend to depend on
Don’t want nobody to check on
Just me and my depression

Lately my heart feels hollow
Maybe I’ll fix it tomorrow
Until then I’ll wallow

Another day, Another week, Another year
Mikko Dec 2022
I'll be missing you for a lifetime
but 12 months is better than none

I swore to god I'll never beg and cry
I can't see how it's anything more than a lie

And I'll be here
I won't let them all go

I'll get on fine
I've always found it easy
to hide these thoughts of mine

We both hurt
But time heals nothing at all

Selective amnesia
To keep you away from me

I'll be missing you for a lifetime
Mikko Dec 2022
23
You were my oxygen and now It's hard to breathe
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