I stare into the walls and they stare at me back.
Blackouts are starting to occur and my mind goes blank.

I close my eyes and the time sure flies,
I look at the clock and realise it's sunrise.

Where'd the night vanished to? Memories seem to fade, feels like a dream that's quite too vague.

My mind so grey, my heart so heavy, what kind of dream was I having?
I gaze away into nothingness and the disparity in my mind and heart grows stronger.

My sleeping mind is awake and I am journeying into a world where no conscious man walks, with my mind both asleep and awake.

Everything is so real and yet so fake, I know I'm dreaming but it's like I'm awake.

A smile now, an angry face later, from being a fan to a hater? Love should be a giver not a taker what kind of love is this? The kind of love that takes is not right, it is not pure love. It will only hurt us and drive us to insanity and we'll end up doing damage to ourselves. Our love is toxic, our love is the kind of love that brings out rage, jealousy, the kind of love that brings out the absolute worst in us the kind that breathes poisonous hope into your lungs killing you slowly....but surely reassuring you that It will all work out. It is a forbidden love, it's unacceptable, it's corrupt, it is a disease, and yet it's tempting,captivating not having it is painful, i crave for it, i want it, because it is better to experience love even if it is corrupt and toxic than to be completely deprived of it and have  your heart completely dried of it like a raisin, even ***** water makes the plants grow and now I guess the challenge is finding out whether our kind of love is worth risking losing part of ourselves just to find each other. Will losing part of ourselves make us whole? Are you willing to find out? Because I am not sure whether I want to let go half of myself in hopes of being whole with you, with that being said, I love you.

They tell you you don't look good doing em until a year later when you don't look good without em. A fix that breaks you, a slow moving bullet that can take years to reach a point of killing you . A nasty habit that never wants to leave your body peacefully. A habit that is obsessed with destroying your mind. Like an obsession they're always in your mind haunting you haunting your body making you itch as you leave you, wanting you to scratch them with another.

An antidote to some, a poison to others, A virus that eats the body inside out showing the results of their consumption. One sniff, one line,one life, the cycle continues with your life span fading to oblivion with each line with each blunt with each needle. A gamble with your life on the line, sniff it away. Be a victim of your own abuse. You're not a user you're an abuser. You're not a loser if you're not a user.

My friends call me weird and say I'm strange, I am the black sheep in my family I only bring them shame. I am an outlier, a misfit, an outcast who does not belong.

I am not popular, I am like a flower blooming in the darkness it's beauty undiscovered, I do not have a place. Are there others like me? I don't like people and they don't seem to like me and yet in my solitude I seek the company of others. I live in a house fill of brothers and yet I am the only one who doesn't fit it.

I have spend days pondering the meaning of my life and I have not yet reach a conclusion. Tis said that "home is where the heart is" but my  heart seems lost and without a place to call home. I walk around like a restless ghost trying to find an answer to my existence and with only one place in my mind: "Where is my place?"

I have heard your cry, I have felt your pain. Your wish and yearn for companionship shall soon be realised, your days of solitude shall come to an end.

The sun shall shine and light will shed banishing the darkness that surrounds you and soothing your wounds and take away your pain.

You shall soon know love and let the pain go away, you shall soon learn to care and cherish another. The warm feeling of love shall melt the stone cold ice that surrounds you.

No longer shall the void in you be filled with narcotics and alcohol but love shall make you content. No longer shall you be vengeful and fill of hate but you shall be jolly and full of love, because I have heard your cry of solitude and your desire to know love and I say, yes to love.

The world is darkening, evil reigns over the earth like vultures hovering over a dead animal. We have lost our ways and we seek your guidance. We need you we need your power we need your wisdom to guide us through these dark times. Life has lost meaning. We have lost the only thing that makes us human- we have lost our humanity. We're killing one another and living contrary to what your word says.

There can be water on mars and life on Pluto but if there is no love And peace in our hearts we will forever destroy the gift of life.

Father I pray that you save us, save us from our own wicked ways, save us from our own self-sabotage and self self-destructive ways, save us from the evil and darkness that reigns over us.
You gave us the gift of life and in return we showed our gratitude by smearing your name in our own vanity and sanity. Your gave us life and we gave you hate. You loved us and we renounced you.

You gave us your word, you gave us your rules to abide and we broke all the rules written and those that haven't. We broke laws meant to keep us human. We have lost our ways. I pray that you save us from ourselves.

The world we live in, so cold so cruel and so calculating. Where's the God we believe in? Good people suffering while the wicked are living in luxury, the world we live in, so conflicted.

We pray, we believe, we say better days are coming, but the sun awakens and sleeps again and again and the world grows more wicked day by day.

Kindness has become a lost artifact, peace has become an ideal that only exists in fairy tales, happiness is temporary and the suffering seems forever.

The days get sunnier and hotter and the world grows darker and colder. My heart yearns for peace but my mind knows only pain, chaos and destruction.  Painful it is to say it's gonna be okay without the hope of a better day, but that is the world we live in today

Temptation-a shameful and yet fascinating craving that captivates the body, heart and soul but leaves a nasty feeling of shame lingering in your mind.

Temptation-a want you do not need, a lust you do not love,temptation the pervesed desire.

Temptation-a cup filled with fun but oozing regrets. Do you dare take a sip and experience a tickling feeling, enticing and exciting  thoughts of doing what's wrong with the feeling of it being right?

Dive in and experience a world of instant gratification and eternal damnation to recall upon your regrets.
Temptation, the ever so alluring aroma of the forbidden fruit

To me poetry is not an escape, it is a release. Poetry is not me hiding behind the curtain, it is me unveiling what lies behind the curtain.

Poetry is all my fears, sadness, my demons, my absolute inability to connect and my debilitating loneliness brought forward to meet their maker. Poetry is my conscious statement to my subconscious horrors that the day of reckoning is coming.

Poetry isn't me adding a silver lining to my dark-clouded life, to me poetry is darkness brought to light.

I aimlessly walk like a blind hunter in the wilderness, without any direction nor certainty of my purpose or future. I have many questions and yet no one to ask i have many stories but no one to tell. My heart beats not for my desires but for the ones I love. My regrets haunt my mind and tire my soul I am left alone.