Yes I do believe in destiny
Although it might seem silly
Because of 2 people brought together
They seem happy truly

They were both girls
And oh so beautiful
Each one with a spark
And I'd seem the chatting away
In a mall or in a park

I only see them now
On Facebook or in dundrum
And a few things have changed
There names for one

And they are no longer girls
But strapping young men
But they seem as happy
Just as they were then

They were both brought together
By the universe itself
But they both found there destiny
With each other, no help

And so this chance meeting
One in a lifetime
Has showed me love
Comes in all shapes and sizes

We change as we grow
And we never do notice
All the small little things
People who stay true to us

That destiny isn't for one
And love is for all
In all shape and sizes
In rain, snow and sun

I still see them sometimes
Happy as can be
And hope I can one day
Find someone like that
For me

"We want to support you through this time"
This time is now my life
I will never stop mourning
I can only try to get used to this
Empty heaviness that takes up half my heart
And you will never be able to support me through my whole life
You can't
And I don't want a crutch
But thanks for giving me a thought
For a split second that only appears when you saw me
And when you see me it's all you see
Not how happy I once was
(And am now)
But how miserable I must be
But I really am thankful
You care enough to acknowledge this happened
My own blood just swept it under the carpet
Like they didn't want there perfect friends to see
That I'm hurting
That years later I've never mourned
I have my family now that loves me
And I love them
But this thought is with at least once a day
Like a bad habit

I know there is nothing under my bed
I realise it is silly to be scared of nothing
But to me the things I dread
Are hiding with me in my bed
In my head I am scarred of the dark
I am wondering alone
On the streets or in the park
And in the carcass that is my mind
I am trudging in a minefield
And no words that are spoken are kind
I cannot convince myself to be of sound mind
And the shining of light that is day
Is course and harsh
And like a child I must play
Because to my parents I cannot say:
The day is false and I do not wish to stay
Because in the night I lie at home
And my demons play tag and chase
With the fears under my bed and in my head.

I saw a star tonight
It glistened with absolute certainty
Such I have never felt
And it made me feel powerful
If was just oozing off you
Floating like fog that you could not contain
And it seeped into my skin
And made it glow like yours
You gave me that confidence to be new
Inventive and not scarred of who I am
I am different
And powerful
And proud
And although it is a sin
Let the devil give me power
You must be because although I have never met you
Your radiance
Like a star to a child
Has given all that I need
To be myself
I will never have your confidence
But I will have the power to be myself.
Thank you for reminding me of that.

Would you still like a flower
If it did not let you pick it
Would you still find the mist mesmerising
If you could catch it
Would you still want me
If all I wanted to do was talk
Would you be satisfied like me
Or would you carry on with someone new
Because I'm a friend
And that's all
I don't want to be picked
I just want the pleasure of your company
But that's not why you came
So I'm afraid
You'll have to endure your days without me
Because I don't want this
And I think I've found the power to say no

I believe my new favourite is time
When I'm in the bath
Although it was cold
No, warm
Cold-warm
And I thought about everything

The paleness of my legs
agains the bubbles
The millions of them didn't compare

I thought of the days events
And the prudish nature of my nanny
Brought out by the open nature of my aunt

I pondered the riddle
"Why is a raven like a writing desk"
But the author didn't have an answer
So why must I?
So I pondered no longer

My thoughts went back to bubbles
And how much fun they are to blow around the air
Without someone saying
"**** off"
Oh woh to be a child

The feeling of my hair living in the water
The touch addicting
Looks, mesmerising
The thrum of mini soldiers
In my ears as the push
The water out;
I'm sorry men
Just a little longer

And I think of getting out
And oh I don't want to
The waters gotten warmer
Probably from my own body heat
We find comfort in each others warmth
The bubbles are still alive
And I'm happy with my bath thoughts
But I must

I stand
I don't get out
I make funny faces in the mirror
Pull the towel around myself
And then slip out

I watch the water drain in a whirlpool
With all my fun bath thoughts

I don't have a bath at home
So I'll be sad to see them go

Oh the pests that do rattle my chain
If I am forced to be here
let the lie down dead before me
let me beat them with an iron rod
and I will stay quiet til death
But be rid of their tongues and teeth
and I will truly be happy
Allow me to close the window
on their head
And their blood will keep me satisfied.

When you have the perfect song
But no one to share it with
No one to sing along
To dance with you
To put it on
When you're putting yourself down
No one to find the meaning
With you
But when you find them
Keep them
Because who you give your song to
Is the ones you share your dreams with

I broke the light
so I could see grey,
I slept until the sky was raging
The dull world at that time
Highlighted every colour
that dyes the the beautiful things
In my eyes.
The girl looking like a Lophorina
Who's smile at a simple ballerina
shames all other flowers into buds.
The sparkle of the deer on the mantle
inked to graze without a care
In a blue winter
Makes me believe that was a time
before my kind
when piece was wonder,
now silence is a gift.
The shine of the leaves
blowing at the tip of the trees
looking confused,
But all just needing that movement
that cannot be found on the ground.
These gifts,
Created by God or an accident,
Are how I know that one day
i will be that deer that shines in the water
and settles in a breeze blue silence.

It's a reminder
Of the time I didn't die
That I laughed
Sure I was hurt
But the flowers that bloomed on my skin
Were so beautiful
That I stayed in hopes of seeing them next spring.

It's a reminder
Of all the effort I spent trying to hide them
Hiding my feelings
So as not to burden others
Or to not be swept away with last night dreams.

It's a reminder
And I'm not proud when people notice them
But I'm proud that they see me
Instead of the me pushing up daisies.

Oh the pests that do rattle my chain
If I am forced to be here
Let them lie down dead before me
Let me beat them with an iron rod
And I will stay quiet still death
But be rid of their tongues and teeth
And I will truly be happy
Allow me to close the window on their head
And their blood will keep me satisfied,

I looked in the mirror
And I don't know which part of me I had seen
So many faces
All familar
How can I have so many people
Trapped inside me?
I want to let them go
But who do I choose to stay?
I need them all
Different faces
For different occasions
I have shut myself out
From my own mind
And have become comfortable
With these foreigners
Simple because
I dont want to bother anymore
I don't want anyone seeing my true self
Not even me
If I can find her that is.

I haven't been here in a while.
I always walk.
But my dad and I were finally free on the same day.
So we went to nutgrove.
Got some sweets
He go waffles, his favourites
I'm all in black with bright
Red?
Pink?
Magenta hair
And blue eyes
I look odd as always
And I'm getting weird looks
But he doesn't care.
The bus is 27 minutes away
There are others at the stop
Some guy on headphones
And a guy who keeps trying to look at me
Descretely
But I notice
I pretend not to.
Does he think I'm beautiful?
Or just strange enough to look at
Or does he want to draw me
Like I often want to do with people I stare at
Nothing ******
Just fascination.
Maybe
I hope
I don't want him to be looking at me like I'm a wanted thing
Maybe it's vain
But I did myself up nicely for once.
I don't know why
I was in the mood
Saturdays always put me in the mood for blue eyes
Not lipstick
Not with my habit.
My lips are red enough anyway from my habit of biting
And picking.

My dad gives me a funny look.
He doesn't talk.
I'm happy, because of my new headphones
And the other people
They don't need to know what we share
Smoke comes out of his funny face
I giggle
Like a little girl
I know I resemble in his eyes.

I look into the field across the road
There are a group of kids
To far away to know an age
And they don't have a dog
I don't know why this troubles me.
But then a lady walking her dog
Strolls past
And I'm on the ground
Sitting
So he comes up to lick me
Almost to grant my wish
I'm happy again
Then the bus comes
And I struggle to get up
I should be happy
I'm going home to feed a rumbling stomach
But
There's something about a bus stop
I just love
Sorry.
I rambled again.
What do you like?

It is a sad day
When a grove in the brick
Is more interesting than the people around you

The dull subject doesn't hold a candle
To the hole in the wall

I bit off my finger
And spit it up into the tree
The sun makes me thinks this
The leaves pillow in my head
I look directly at it
With my finger at the core
The sun is to obnoxious to allow me to see even my own fIngertip!
A branch poking in the corner
Makes me believe my bloodied finger is hanging in the air
In reality it is just water
My wet *** and muddied boots are proof of this
The bird only stops chirping to feed digit to its chick

I do not care to glare at the sun
It's harsh hair is mocking in beauty
And it's wide ears take in non of my concerns
It sits for a bakers dozen and sleeps
While we worry the nights away
It does not fear a spiders Web
Or the buzzing of a electric house close by
It brings light our troubles
And then sleeps soundly on a cloud
While we ponder what dreadful fears it has brought
It's greets you with teeth
But it is only when you depart
Do you see its daggers

It's funny how you dont care about things that are important
Or things that don't matter.
Like life
Or this poem rhyming
Or spelling
Or people understanding it
I just feel like staring at a ceiling
Or hanging from it
I don't even care if a murderer would come and **** me now
It's just an overwelming feeling pushing at my skin
And I don't even care
My best friends seem like nothing
And my enemy knife and rope are what I imagine
Blood running down the drain
I paused the movie and don't care to Un pause it
I don't even want to walk up the stairsbut
I will
And I will stare at the ceiling until the harsh morning light comes
And I will not pay attention to anything
People will call me lazy.
And I will not care
I don't even care to give this a title
So use your imagination
Cause I'm all dried up.

And I realise that once again
I am in a world I do not comprehend
Einstein himself could not convince me
That everything we have has an answer
Physics, learning and math
All unnecessary in our happiness
It is causing me such misery
I am thinking of leaving to sea
To just look not question
But I am afraid my misery will keep me here until I'm done with this
This everevolving life
I am to tired to care
But I have enough energy to pretend I am listening

I see the rainbow in science
But I want to stand in the rain and sun.

I like her

It's her eyes
The brightest I've ever seen
Yet so brown,
It must be a sign of a siren.

It's how fierce she is
Not caring
And yet she blushes like a blooming flower
Whenever we talk indecently.

It's the way she criticises you
Purposely as a joke
And then she will do it herself.

It's her quirks
Always having sugar and chocolate
And yet always having toothpaste and brush.

It's her accent
So clear and foreign
And yet you can't understand her on the phone.

It's when I call her cute
And she tells me to shut up
But she smiles a little.

It's her taste in music
And how she goes mad when we talk about them.

It's how she wouldn't admit she likes me
But I pine because of that look she gives me.

It's how she is
Always just so

****,
Am I in love?

I've lost faith in words
Words have so many meanings
You can't know what they really mean

Perfect.
Nobody's perfect
And yet
Everyone is

Loyalty.
Being able to tell them everything
All the lies that they don't know because it won't hurt them

Imaginary.
It's not real
Yet it's the most real thing in my life

I love you.
Not the whole you
Not the future you
The you right now
That is perfect.
That is loyal.
That has such an imagination

I've lost faith in words
So how do I know what you mean?
How am I suppose to tell you without you misunderstanding?
Easy.
Don't speak.

He's out there.
I can feel it.
His breath through the crack in the wood.
He knows I'm here
But he won't open the door.
He's waiting for me to ***** up.
He's trying to scare me, knife in hand
It won't work.
That's why he's here
Because he's scared
Because he's been here before
But the feeling of dread was worse
Because he was tied to a chair
So was his young wife
And best foolish friend who tried to help.
I had a scissors
And knifes
And jumper cables
(They were fun)
And a big toothy grin.
Only he survived
So he's the one that's scared
to open the door
He hears something behind him
He turns
His mistake
I have a knife as well
The police will see it as my defending myself
But they will be protecting the culprit
Not the victim.
"A sweet, little, anxious girl could never hurt someone without reason
Right?"

They say you put everything into a piece of art
So what if a piece of you is left with it.
And then you are stuck in a room
Constantly surrounded by the same walls
I know I would feel depressed.
And if they painted enough
Enough of there soul would be stuck in a room forever.
Maddening.
Maybe that's also why they appreciated the outside beauty
Because that part of there soul knows what is is like to be trapped
And the shard left is there to take in as much as it can.
Be it a porcelain beauty
Or a thieving crow.
They know they must take it in
And never live like their paintings.
Trapped.

What is a dreams shadow
I have often wondered?
I believe it is that feeling
Of not being able to remember it
That terrible feeling.
It's not a physical thing.
I know people will think I'm mad
Feeling down about something I can't even remember
But it's what I lose
My memories that my mind has created
Just for me
Just so I could have a pleasant dream
Or an eventful one
If I do happen to wake in a sweat.
Maybe that's why
Because it's only for me
It doesn't want me to tell anyone else
About my adventures
But I promise I won't
I just need to see them once more
So this aching chest can be free
So I can know what you want me to.
I will never be able to recall
And that might be the most heart breaking thing
I can do to myself.

I believe in illution's
A blue sky
Just a reflection of water
Just light hitting a gas
Yet light is also a illution
As is colour
Colour is light
Or so I'm told to believe
So how do we control it
How do we focus it into one
And a million
Different colours

Different species
Created for a different purpose
Purpose?
No
Reason
A reason
Evolution.
That is all we are
Space, time and science trying to prove it's self.

I don't believe a human future
This scientist life
To ignore natural beauty
And the world full of indescribable life
To work in a office
Or greying building
With greedy, poisonous fumes
Walking around with fake smiles
And dead eyes.

I want to go back
To before cave men
And become a more adventurous human
One that doesn't destroy or lust
upon
One that nurtures
And not only it's own species.
It wold marvel at the sky
Without wanting to venture there.

Not religious.
Not a scientist.
But a guest upon this earth.
Not it's rulers.

I want to marvel about light.
Not figure it out.

It was surreal
Like only a bit of me was really
The part of me that wanted to ease my mam's mind
So I walked in
And I sat awkwardly
She asked why I was there
I looked to my mam but I knew I had to answer.

Why?
Because I hurt
Because I feel miserable
Because I feel like hanging from rope
Will be easier than rising from bed tomorrow.
Because I found a way to help myself
That nobody else thinks is a good idea
Because they don't get it.

"The school saw I was hurting myself and recommending going to my gp."
That's what I said.
We had a talk
About things they thought were important
Not about important things
I never added anything
Maybe because my mam was there
Maybe because I didn't want anyone to see
How ****** up I really am.

I saw someone for a couple of weeks
Teaching me things I know how to do
I'm just scared to do them.
They said "anxiety"
Where I said suicidal
They don't know
And they don't care
If they really did
They would ask more
Talk more
Help more.
Why should they care?
It's my problem
I don't want to burden the people that would care.

So I talked to a professional
For my mam's sake
Not mine.
It didn't work.

I can handle being rejected
I can cope
Because I know I will get over it
I know that I can move on
I've done it before.
What I can't handle
Is someone telling me
"I don't know"
Or not giving me a straight answer.
Someone who knows they will never be with me
But not telling me directly
Someone who "likes" me
But can't admit it
I can handling being friends after a rejection
But I can't handle you not having your **** together
Because I'm pining after someone who doesn't realise I'm so into them
That I'm hurting for them
I'm waiting for them
So please just tell me
Yes or no
Because that's less painfull
Than having my heart broken
Almost fixed
And then smashed again.

I hate money
I hate how paper and metal
Can get people so worked up
How it is now a necessity in today's society
It can tear people apart
It can **** people
It can ruin a family
I've seen it all
It can get you anything in the world
But as I sit listening to a quarrel about cash
I wish it never exsisted
I wish this greed wasn't here
So Pandora
Close the box
Zues
Take back your gift
Because I can't listen to this anymore
I know they don't want to believe it
But when it comes down to it
Something as delicate as money
With tear this family apart.

My pet peeve is grammar
I love it
I need it to be perfect
But around her I can't talk
I mess up my words
When I text her
I forget my full stops
I spell my words wrong
I don't reread my text three times
Because I want so badly to see her reply
I want to hear her talk
I love being able to make her laugh
She's able to make me forget my major thing
And replace it with herself.

It was strange
But not because I felt excluded
Not because I felt judged
But because for the first time
I felt like I  fitted in
I was part of the crowd
Not just looking at it
They accepted me
Because I was like them.
I was always a black person
My clothes were devoid of colour
And I thought my soul was black
But they showed me the rainbow
That I was part of it
Black is the mixture of all colours
That's why it's my soul
Not because I'm dull
Because you have to understand to see my colours
And they understood
I was content
I talked to stranger's
I felt like crying for people I didn't know
Because they made it possible
For me to feel
Like the rainbow I am.
That might be cringey
But I'll allow myself to be
Just this once.

You think magic is seeing a wand emit sparks and spells
But I see it in the brilliance of a light bulb
The flowering of a bud.
You see wonder in the world's you see in your mind
I see it in the realitys I have not yet visited.
You see miracles as a single light, shone from the heavens
I see in it in every act, every day.

I see misery in every life.
I see sadness around every corner.
I see greed in every hand full of money.
And I see lifelessness in everyone I see.

But despite that
I found a way to live.
Not by wishing on a star
But by the beauty around me.
The city lights at night
The flowers by moonlight
The wispering winds in my ear.

I see such heinous act in the light of day
But at night I see my fantasy world come alive.
You don't need the glass promise of a world unseen
You just need to find it in your surroundings.
Because at night
That is where the unique come out to play.

So many emotions will flood you
Just looking at a grave.

The only thing stopping me from achieving sleep
Is the pumping of my blood
As I lay on my wrist
And wondering when it will stop
When will it flow without the effort of my heart.

I want to walk.
I want to walk to LA
I want to see it as the sun hides behind the horizon.
I want to walk to Greece
And see the ancient city
I know I must have lived there once.
I live on an island.
I want to walk across the water and escape
From this unbearable roller costar feeling.
But I only walk for an hour.
I let the music fill me
And then I think about how to rid myself of this hunger that doesn't alow me to eat.
Then, later
I walk home.
That growing pain.
But I feel easy.
I may not have walked to my hearts destination.
But I walked so the wind blows through my head
And takes some fears away.
I walked away from these walls I'm scared of.
Now I walk back.

If you were about to be crucified
And it was certain you'd die
Would you deal with the pain
And the certainty
That was going to be your last earthly feeling
Or would you give that feeling to someone else?
Knowing that they would live
But they would live with that pain
And the memory of it.
Would you save yourself the torture
As a dying man doesn't deserve it.
He should have a painless send off.
Or would you endure it
To save that unknowing man
The pain he will have to live with
But that you will never have to feel again.

When I rule the world
You will not be by my side.
You will be unknown
Because someone will always try to overthrow the ruler.
And they will do that by breaking your heart
And taking the people most closed to you.
I will be with you as much as I can,
with our true friends.
I don't need you by my side every second to rule the world.
I need you here in the streets
To be with me.
To love me.
Because I don't need the world to know our love.
I just need you know that I love you.
I need you to know that I will rule the world
With your love in my heart at all times
a
And I will fall with the knowledge
that you will hold me up.
Because if you were to rule, I
I shall do the same.

Im sick
Of people thinking I'm a "bad" girl.
I'm a girl.
I've kissed the wrong guy
At the wrong time
Not because I loved them
Or even liked
Because it was expected of me.
That's as far as I dared to go.
That was when I was scared
To show them I wasn't straight
I was bent 180°
And of course I was labelled
Never to my face
Well, once
And it was said by someone who I knew could hurt me.
But I'm not a bad girl.
I ******* up.
Not big but enough.
Bur I've stopped acting
Because I was expected to.
And now I've been judged again
By someone who I thought could trust me.
They can hurt me
Because they think they know my past.
And I don't want to leave them.
But I don't want to stay.
I'm sick.
But am I sick to stay
Or to leave?
I need help.
I'm not a bad girl.
I know.
I hope.

I peeled it off because I didn't like the colour.
I was going to change it
But then I saw the marks left
And I realised it was a reflection
Of how we are.
We don't like our origanal self's
And so we cover up
And while hiding we create scars
That aren't noticeable until we reveal them.
But we cover up with a new colour
So nobody would notice our scars.
But I don't need your approval of my colour.
I don't care if you judge my scars.
I do it for myself
So I don't have to see them
So I don't have to notice that sick feeling
Brought on by my wordless, shapeless, meaningless cover
That drapes me like a wet towel
And every time I colour again
Water is being dumped over me.
I don't care about you
So don't think you're special.
Your words and concerns mean nothing to me.
It's only the colour now.

I wanted to throw mysef off
To freeze my fears
I knew they would vanish
Like the light,
Under the surface
You're not stone
You're suffering
Cold
Yet you're burning
With pain and desire
And then;

How do I know?
Will I see a sign?
Will she tell me?
Will she make a move first?
I know she's scared.
Maybe even more than me
But I want her
To hold
To laugh with.
I want to look into her eyes
And see my love reflected.
Maybe not love at first
But it will he enough
To know she would give me a chance
To love her.
I want to kiss her
On her cheek
Lips
Forehead
Without being judged
Or without her think g we are being judgd.
I just want her faint blush when I do.
I want her.
But am I allowed?
What if I lose her by trying.
What if I lose her by not?

It was simple
But it meant everything.
I always feel anxious
On guard
Never safe with anyone.
But you didn't believe me
When I lied
And you didn't push
When I tried to deny it.
We both know it was false.
But we lay there.
The grass tickling my nose.
And you didn't judge.
You traced my scars as if to sooth me.
Not to lecture me
Like so many others
You're the only one that's able to calm me.
Thank you.
For not saying anything.
When others would of shot words of "wisdom" at me.
Thank you.
For knowing what I needed.
Or more what I didn't need.
Thank you.

It made me feel normal.
No.
It made me feel close to you.
I thought I was letting you down.
So I melted straight.
For you.
It backfired.
It hit you straight in the heart.
I couldn't pretend anymore.
So I told you.
I was bent out of shape.
We stopped talking.
You stopped waiting.
And I lost the best thing in my life.
Because I couldn't face who I was.
I couldn't just sink on my own.
You had to come with me.
Then I tried it again.
Being straight.
I was so scared.
And then so relieved it didn't happen.
But you found out
The wind found you
And whispered in your ear
Lies of course.
But I was ashamed.
And you took it the wrong way.
Like everybody else.
But I didn't care what they thought.
It was always you.
Just because I wasn't in love with you
Didn't mean I didn't love you.
I let you down again.
I'm sorry.
You'll never hear this.
It's been to long ago.
But the scars are still there.
The memories.
I still miss you.

I can't remember
Every poem I've ever written
In my head.
Everything I see now is a poem.
It can be taken in
absorbed
And breathed out like carbon.
Thats how I see the world.
Through black and white
As read through a newspaper.
But I remember looking into glazed over eyes
With gold and grey and a blue background.
The only feature I like.
Anything I want can be reflected.
Or absorbed.
But I choose this moment to remember.
It isn't remarkable.
But it's memorable.
Not even.
It's just there.
To be absorbed.

I couldn't breathe.
I wanted it to end.
I wanted to control my freedom.
It's useless.
To see tired lifeless eyes in the mirror
It kills you slowly each day.
A reflection can do that.
So I started to cut.
And I felt calm.
Is this what a poacher feels?
To see red blood on ivory tusk's?  
A poppy beside a lily.
It only lasts as long as a painkiller.
But I'm happy.
Pain has brought me joy.
And I know this is an insatiable thirst.
Maybe I'll die.
Maybe someone else will.
But I am now so sure
That I will enjoy
Every last drop.

Now I'm laughing.
It amuses me
The gore in my head.
My feelings have been frozen
Except for lust.
Lust for another's body.
To feel their heat.
To taste their blood.
To hear there moans.
Yes. I will feed for pleasure.
And my blood was what killed me.

I don't need to hear it.
I don't want to know.
That I will be missed.
That I shouldn't hurt myself.
That life has a plan for me.
I'll hurt people if I go.
I know that.
I know people care.
But I can't pretend.
I can't be miserable
just to make people happy.
I can't live
for someone else.
I can't feel so desperate
that I need a release
all the time.
Alcohol or cutting edge.
Listening to music
so I can block out a world
full of destruction
and hate.
A world I can't stand.
I can't.
I don't have the energy.
I can't live anymore.
Im gonna try.
But I know.
It won't last.
I'll give up.
Because if I can't live for myself
then I don't see a point.

What to choose?
Which life to end?
A girl who made a mistake
And can't lead her own life anymore
Who has to pay for someone else's
She doesn't want?
Or a child who hasn't been born
Who has a right to life
But who takes someone else's
Who won't be missed?
But how many people will she have to discard for this one child?
This mistake.

Messing with a gun
And accidently shoot yourself?
We're happy to help.
Drinking since 15
And need a new liver?
Here's one on a silver plater.
Made a mistake or ****** broke?
Deal with it
Its your own fault
You made your bed
Now the two of you lie in it.

Life is important.
But living life is the point
Don't take that away
For the sake of reproducing a species
Already overpopulated
Let the girl live.
And when she's ready
She'll give you want you want.
Until then
There are millions of people
Who need help with bigger problems
Then the right not to choose
So leave a person's choice alone
And let them live.

I used to despise the smell
But now I can't get enough.
I'm addicted to
Sitting with my sky soft blanket,
Short hair between my finger's,
Curled in a ball with a book in my lap,
Escaping into a world beyond my believing.
And the smell conforms me
When I open these pages in the future
They will smell of coffee
And be fatter with the memories I have made reading the ink.
Such simple things.
I will always remember the taste
4 sugars
Chocolate dipped in to add such sweetness
That I will never be able to eat alone again.
It will always have to be coated in bitterness.
But this what I love.
You see me most content when I am alone in your eyes.
But I am surrounding by my best friend's, that may be or not human
And the warmth that I know I will always have.
Cause I am addicted to the simple things.

I'm  sweltering
Suffocating.
Everyone's here
Howling, muttering
Just a collage of voices
I don't care about.
I should
But I can't bring myself to.
I walk outside
The sun burns and I can still hear everything so clearly.
The moon comes out.
Mute.
I see her
Under a streetlight
Leaning, metal on leather.
I can breathe.
I don't need to listen or talk
She understands
And we leave
At last, at least
That's what I think it would feel like.
For now
I'm still suffocating.