I couldn't breathe.
I wanted it to end.
I wanted to control my freedom.
It's useless.
To see tired lifeless eyes in the mirror
It kills you slowly each day.
A reflection can do that.
So I started to cut.
And I felt calm.
Is this what a poacher feels?
To see red blood on ivory tusk's?  
A poppy beside a lily.
It only lasts as long as a painkiller.
But I'm happy.
Pain has brought me joy.
And I know this is an insatiable thirst.
Maybe I'll die.
Maybe someone else will.
But I am now so sure
That I will enjoy
Every last drop.

Now I'm laughing.
It amuses me
The gore in my head.
My feelings have been frozen
Except for lust.
Lust for another's body.
To feel their heat.
To taste their blood.
To hear there moans.
Yes. I will feed for pleasure.
And my blood was what killed me.

I don't need to hear it.
I don't want to know.
That I will be missed.
That I shouldn't hurt myself.
That life has a plan for me.
I'll hurt people if I go.
I know that.
I know people care.
But I can't pretend.
I can't be miserable
just to make people happy.
I can't live
for someone else.
I can't feel so desperate
that I need a release
all the time.
Alcohol or cutting edge.
Listening to music
so I can block out a world
full of destruction
and hate.
A world I can't stand.
I can't.
I don't have the energy.
I can't live anymore.
Im gonna try.
But I know.
It won't last.
I'll give up.
Because if I can't live for myself
then I don't see a point.

What to choose?
Which life to end?
A girl who made a mistake
And can't lead her own life anymore
Who has to pay for someone else's
She doesn't want?
Or a child who hasn't been born
Who has a right to life
But who takes someone else's
Who won't be missed?
But how many people will she have to discard for this one child?
This mistake.

Messing with a gun
And accidently shoot yourself?
We're happy to help.
Drinking since 15
And need a new liver?
Here's one on a silver plater.
Made a mistake or ****** broke?
Deal with it
Its your own fault
You made your bed
Now the two of you lie in it.

Life is important.
But living life is the point
Don't take that away
For the sake of reproducing a species
Already overpopulated
Let the girl live.
And when she's ready
She'll give you want you want.
Until then
There are millions of people
Who need help with bigger problems
Then the right not to choose
So leave a person's choice alone
And let them live.

I used to despise the smell
But now I can't get enough.
I'm addicted to
Sitting with my sky soft blanket,
Short hair between my finger's,
Curled in a ball with a book in my lap,
Escaping into a world beyond my believing.
And the smell conforms me
When I open these pages in the future
They will smell of coffee
And be fatter with the memories I have made reading the ink.
Such simple things.
I will always remember the taste
4 sugars
Chocolate dipped in to add such sweetness
That I will never be able to eat alone again.
It will always have to be coated in bitterness.
But this what I love.
You see me most content when I am alone in your eyes.
But I am surrounding by my best friend's, that may be or not human
And the warmth that I know I will always have.
Cause I am addicted to the simple things.