I'll never forget how good she was with words.
How her tongue cut sharp and spit and
dripped with poetic justice.
I read her lines and watched her lips
while mine were blurred and she slipped my grip.

I cant stand our imperfection.
Shes a perfectly perfect person
perpetually portraying pain...
or maybe thats mine in the reflection of her eyes.
Our love was filled with nights up trying, lying awake, inevitably dying.
but who am I to fake cause all those nights I called fate were more like lessons we make and take and we thought otherwise but I bet most could relate.
We weren't a mistake, leaving each other was the only one we made.

I watch the water extend as far as I can see.
The air there is like a puff of albuterol;
I can finally breathe.
I watch myself from above and take in the view
only thing missing is you.
Every day is now a mission.
more so than before.
I think the only difference now is that im no longer "surviving"; I am prospering.
I found my voice.
I obtained the strength to make a choice and did
I hold onto a lot of things
but I have started to unpack.
I have been driftwood moved and swayed in the water taken with whichever current came first
gripping, reaching, screaming for that life line
and I pulled myself ashore.
I am new. I am blue. I am the light that guides me.
I am woman. I am fearless.
I am love and I am you.
I can see the tide shifting and know theres something coming but I will not be pulled.
I will not be used. I am the voice of the broken;  
we are the muse.

My delusions are the poetic illusion of destiny
and the art of never knowing for sure
until its manifested.
I will brave through the anxieties and
out of my comfort zone in an attempt to
free myself from the shackles that have held me
in place for 25 years.
My face has been illusive, painted smile or silence to mask the screams yet
i've made it.
The smile on me is real now and my eyes gleam with happiness and I have never felt more free.

Somethings changing.
I feel it in my stomach.
My lunch upheaves;
I have no idea whats coming.
The wind is shifting,
I'm changing with the seasons,
the foundation of this house is bending
and this chapter of my life is ending.
I lift my roots and jump into the wind.
Which ever way it takes me, I aim to win.
Dreamscapes are tragic,
being swallowed by a flood.
Its in my mind, i'm dying
but this is the most peaceful way to go.
Baptize the chastised
we are on our way to roads of gold.
Enlighten me, we are the all knowing
but who fuels the information that
my intuition is told?
Im praying to every god but especially to you.
I'm chanting sweet somethings
right up to the moon.
If the water keeps rising and I float at the top,
I'll keep elevating, I'll keep learning,
these things don't stop.
She is my heaven. She is my savior.
The prophecy is unfolding and
I swear I can save her
from those who throw lashings before throwing you in a tomb, you wont have to rise again if I can figure out what to do.
To save you from illness that took Prophet Mohammad. I will swim through dark waters, and climb the highest mountains to stop it.
Theres only two ways this could end
and one way is to begin.