Please don’t cry,
I’m not going to tell.
I’m sorry I can’t help.
Is that wrong?
I try.
I’ll hold you no matter how many hours pass by.
Problems?
I’m here.
To the reach of the human hand.
I’m not busy;
Not for you.
I understand I’ll become a burden—
With countless questions I can’t help but ask.
You answer,
Polite every time.
If I lose you I lose myself.

Please don’t cry.
They won’t have to discover.
Nothing that’s hidden will ever be revealed.
Please don’t worry.
I promised I’d stay;
My word true,
Absolute.
You need a break?
Of course it’s alright.
Even distance and silence provides comfort in the very worst moments.

Though I can’t help but spiral once again.
Are you leaving?
Did I care too much?
I do hope I wasn’t overbearing.

With deepest regrets and care still unknown,
I.

I’m not apathetic,
I care an awful lot.
How to show it,
I’m not sure.

That awkward moment of nothingness shattered both of us,
And I’m sorry I couldn’t think of the words to say there and then.
I could feel the tightness in my chest growing;
All sound fleeting.

I wish I knew what to say,
Though my comfort only comes in painful silence.
Prolonged,
Aching,


Silence.



I saw regret settle deep within your expression.
Tired,
wounded.
Still,
The only sound was a sigh;
Pairs of eyes averting each other with unexplainable unease.

My actions were always far louder than my words.
Though,
I find they are not always welcomed as kindly as I try to offer them.
I try.
I offer my hand and you take it,
Exchanging awkward glances—
Tension almost lifted.

I am not angry,
I am not annoyed.
With every word you speak I can only wordlessly promise I’ll stay,
Even when you believe wholeheartedly that no one will.
I care,
And I pray that you know that too.

I have no heart but it still hurts.

Right there.
Yes that’s it,
Just on the left of the middle of my chest.
It’s that pain again.
Back to haunt me like it always does.
It makes me feel sick.
I don’t like it.

I have no heart, that’s what I’ve I been told.
But it still hurts.
So bad.
Like a needle being pushed slowly into you.
But you can’t get it out.
It stays no matter what you do.
That type of pain.

Sometimes it crawls up my throat and I feel my eyes watering.
It hurts more when I try to make it stop.
A terrible ache that plagues me constantly.

Ugly sounds always manage to push through the crowd that is my voice.
I hate it.
It’s embarrassing.
I don’t want anyone to hear me like this.
Or see me like this.
They’d laugh.
Then it would hurt more.
I don’t like pain.
Sometimes it scares me.

I want these aches and pains to go away.
But they stay.
Diseases.
Parasites.
Burdens.
I hate them.
It makes me weak.
Like my knees will cave in and I’ll drop into the abyss beneath my feet.
Never retuning again.

I have a heart and it hurts.
I want to rip the needle out.
Cure the diseases.
Pluck out the parasites.
Lift the burdens.
I want all these pains to disappear.
If they don’t,
I will.