I am searching within for
some source of warmth
but it’s freezed over and
lost its touch. I’m trying to
keep ahold of my happiness
but it’s just not there. Something
inside me shifted. Something
changed. Something’s not
there. I have been on my knees
for far too long, but don’t mind
me, I’ll find it soon enough.

You see I have a funny way of making everything I say sound like poetry, but nothing sweet for the soul. It's words filled with heartache and pain I've hidden away for the last 10 years. Baby I've got skeletons too, they tell stories late at night when everyone's found their way into dreams that'll never come true. Baby I've got demons too, they visit me late at night when I'm tossin' and turnin'. I've got a heartache for two, a soul that's been bruised. I've never been much in your eyes but too everyone else, I'm the whole **** sky. Made up of shades of blue, but the sun don't shine here. I've got some things to say to you, none of the healing kind, more of the bruising kind. I could scream out all your lines if you gave me a moment of your time, but I wasn't worth the time. I'm just waiting for the sunshine.

Tell me about all the things
we cannot see. Guide my
hovering feet back to solid
ground. Tell me about all the
things I cannot see. Feed me
strength and a chance to breathe.
A hand to hold, a love to grow.
Tell me why I am on my knees.
I'll be the seed, let your rain wash
over me, give me life to grow.
Tell me about all the things we
cannot see, I am stuck in a hole
with nowhere to go. Pacing in
circles while their touching bases
with everything they'll ever know.
The world may burn, but I'll
never stick around to see. Tell
me about everything you detest
in me. I'll hold out a shaking
hand and follow you to the end.

You left feeling shameful,
with a fist full of regrets you
hope to put to rest. I bid my
time dreaming up things I
wish that would last. Because
what do I do when all hope
has passed? Tell me where to
go when I'm the one on my
hands and knees begging
for a sign to help me find my
way home again. I am lost,
praying not to be found. You
bid your time wearing guilt
as a mask. While I sit and ponder
on the past, your words play
over and over again like a
broken record. Off key. Out
of tune. I am lost.

I've been spending most of my days alone, shrugging off whatever drought has entered my heart. I've fallen and picked myself back up, I've kept my head held high with rain in my eyes. I shut down as soon as everything opened up for me. I swept it all under the couch. I've spent so many days searching for something good to fill my mind. And I think I stumbled upon it in your eyes.

I wanted to take the time to remind you that I love you. Even though I may act like I despise you it's because I confide in you. I'll keep pushing and pushing and pushing these things away in hopes in the end I can pull it back together in a warm embrace. My actions are reflections of my affections. I've spent my time struggling to get up on my feet, I've spent time dealing with the pain, I've spent time with the sun in my eyes. I've experienced it all. You are hope. You are love. You are everything above. You might as well be solid ground I can't help but to fall on. This is a reminder. This is not some ******* lines I wrote for you. This is me saying I need you, my friend. If the weight of the world falls on your chest, I'll be there to help lift the weight off your sunken chest. And when that sun sets for you, I promise it will be worth the wait. There is beauty in a storm, there is a calming in its embrace. Even when things get chaotic, I'll be there right next to you, waiting for the heart of the storm to eat you to death. This a reminder to grow.

You carved out my bones and moved in on my head. Shallow homes are hollow ends. It's nothing but dead ends. The sound of your voice, and your voice on the phone went ringing in my ears. So they say, home is where the heart is, well if that's the saying then where the hell have I been. This house is empty as the promises you made to me, I'll shut you out, you'll pick me apart, and we'll leave it at that.

I was never good at saying how I feel without running into fear. I shut out anyone that tried to get near. It keeps knocking on my heart, and breaking me apart. I was never good at saying how I feel, don't give up now, I'll answer soon.

I want to go back to the time when everything I said was something worthwhile and thoughtful. I sit with words twisting in my mouth, my head isn't on right, my thoughts aren't thought out right. And everything is blurred lines of **** I never even said. I want to go back to a time much simpler than it was, and I'll find you there.

I would love to invite you in, but I'm not so sure you'd be able to take the solitude. Your soft pleads soon became distant background noises, I would drown you out with the bottle in my hands. Winter left you cold and numb, you went away. Soon I became the one pleading for you, and it was much too late. You left a ghost behind that I can't bare the sight of anymore. I should've let you in instead of pushing you out.

We would sit on your back porch and talk the sun into setting. We talked about hard times and how the world never seemed so bright. You were so ****** you talked about your mother and how she couldn't stand to hear about your own fears. There were trees that grew inside your heart, but little did I know how much they ripped it apart. I could see every root spilling out of you, until the day you ripped it all out. I thought about the last time we spoke and how I saw nothing in your eyes. my friend, we've all got ghosts we can't seem to shake, so tell me why yours has been the hardest one to break. Rest easy now, you went out like a light, I still think about that night.

You'll them how you've
Been so misunderstood
Your whole life, they'll
Feel bad and try to block
You out. And you'll sit back
And mellow out and wait
For the hope to return to its
Doubt.

It was never my goal to impress you.
It was never my goal to entice you.
It was never my goal to misguide you.

And as much as it pains me to admit, I never loved you. With the reminder of regrets I am forced to remind you of your threats. My tongue thick with remorse, I release you from your debt.

And if I knew I was losing
my grasp on you, I wouldn't
fight to keep your hand in mine.
It would be a battle left in complete
chaos, leaving a disastrous defeat.

I've been through hell and i've been back. I've driven miles and never looked back. The winters always hurt, and the spring is on its way, so they say. I've ached through the days, and thought of times you held my hand and said "everything's going to be okay." I can't remember how it felt to hold your hand, my fingers were always numb from the cold bitter air. Your soft goodbyes always lingered in the air, and everything tastes like farewell. I've ached for better days and warm sunny days. I wish you had stayed. Now, the winter no longer falls under the category of my favorite things. You were my favorite season, and now i'm stuck standing out in the ******* cold hoping you'll let me back in.