We're both going through withdrawals
It's ****
It's harder than ever before 
Because not only do we have the now 'normal' **** to deal with
The hundreds of miles separating us
Playing phone tag (I hate that ******* game)
Swiping through phone albums of saved screenshots
Trying so hard to keep your face vibrant and alive in my day dreams 
But we now have our bodies against us

You're a ****
-ted to nicotine
I'm not
But I get it
I understand the **** this week is dragging you through
These last 3 days have made you
angry
angsty
and anxious
I know you don't want to be
I know it won't go away over night
But I know it's worth it.

It is so ******* worth any phone conversation cut short
Any borderline emotional breakdowns 
Any urge to throw **** off the balcony
Or scream at harmless birds
To know that our grown up lives won't be cut short

He keeps me in a glass case
Shows me off all over town
Calls me his so no one else can
Brings me home whenever he can
But he never plays with me
Why does he never play with me?

Hateful and hurt emotions wrestling
They're keeping me up tonight
The glow of my phone on my face
He knows something's wrong
Why won't he ask me what's wrong?

He talks to me like I'm his little sister
He mocks me for studying what I love
He calls me a hippie because I care too much
He thinks my dreams are immature

He says I'm perfect
but I'm not his perfect

she's mad because no one knew it was her birthday
she lives right next door
so they're whispering
(and not doing a good job of that)
maybe if she was a better friend then that wouldn't happen
I try to escape it
but they follow me into the bathroom

Now they're talking about her *** life
Asking me for intel
Just to find more things about her to
**** on
why do they sleep with the door open?
do they even have ***?*

I ignore them
I'm done with the gossiping
The **** talking behind backs but
playing nice as soon as they turn around
They know that but
they can't stop themselves from asking

What they don't know
Is that the girl living next to me
the bad friend that they're so ******* interested in
Is having one of the worst summers of her life

They don't know that she broke up with her boyfriend
4 days ago
she spent her birthday living in the same room as her now
ex boyfriend

No one sang to her
No one made her a cake
No one gave a ****
It was just a normal day

The thing about poetry is that people use it as an escape
A safe place to write out their feelings,
their thoughts,
their life experiences
Things that should be kept secret
Things that should be kept safe
But they allow so many other people to access those poems
that those experiences that should be kept secret
are now completely exposed for anyone to see

I could put myself into that moment
Moments I don't want to be anywhere ******* near
Moments I shouldn't have ever learned about
Unable to get them out of my head
Your words on replay
mocha
hazel
and so much ******* ***

I have my notes
High school styled love letters at best
But at least you don't have to read about my past *** life

There are some people in this world
who like to climb ladders.
The ladders that take you to
the parties,
and to the boats, and to the
social event of the night

There are some people in this world
who are thrown onto the ladders.
We are the people
who fly on the dance floor,
who sleep out of want,
not necessity,
and are often confused with sadness,
loneliness,
depression.
Only because our absence is noted

So that the next time we feel like climbing that ladder
It has suddenly disappeared.
Absent.
and that dance floor
that you once flew on
is suddenly crowded with people on stilts,
too tall to dance with,
and uninterested in things under
them.

But I don't want that ******* ladder.
The only climbing I want to do is with my babe,
on fake colored rocks in overcrowded gyms
I want to climb up that wall
harnessed onto you
Not hanging on your hip,
or holding on your arm
climbing to a never ending plateau,
just trying to keep up with our friends

I want to dance on that dance floor with you and
laugh at the people above us
trying to balance on their oh so fragile stilts
that they worked so hard to get
While we continue to love each other
so fiercely
that we end up higher than they
could ever be

My mind is in a constant dream
I used to dream of adventures
Solo adventures
Traveling the world
Living free
Loving myself first
Nature second
And maybe then a guy
On the occasional lonely night

Then I fell for you
and you changed everything

I can no longer dream of anything without you
My mind works you into each new dream I have
Thailand
I guess a travel buddy would be pretty fun
Boathouse
Living with our best friend is going to be dope
Backpacking Central America
We have a lot of shopping to do babe...

Adventure after adventure with you
I want to do
go
see
everything with you

My mind is in a constant dream
But it's different now
My dreams
your dreams
are slowly becoming our dreams

I'm surrounded by hippies
self proclaimed hippies
I should add
Because if they were real hippies
They would understand
How to love
people,
and nature,
and ******* everything

I'm not surrounded by real hippies
I'm surrounded by people craving excitement
Not because of the beautiful adventure available in the excitement of life
But because of the fear of being alone
However, its in my loneliest moments
Spent texting
or snapchatting
or on two hour long phone calls
that I feel more alive than ever
I smile more than I have all day
And not the same fake smile I have at work
That smile that I have to wear
cause honestly, my job depends on it
No, not that ******* smile

Its the smile that you hear through the phone
The one that holds the true happiness I feel when I talk to you
The one you love so much
that you've written about it in so many of your poems
It's the smile you'll see when you kiss me on the cheek in the morning
I'll wear it when I'm making you breakfast
You'll see it for hours spent rolling around in our sheets
God, you'll probably get sick of me always wearing that smile
Just know that the smile you see
Showing on my mouth but truly radiating from my eyes
Is the product of a girl so head over heels in love
With you

We have a song now
It's completely random
and 30 years older than we are
Neither of us really know it
But we danced to it on a beach
under an almost full moon
So even though it's cliche
It's our song

I'm laying here in your jacket you left me
Cologne and cigarettes still lingering
I'm at 97% data usage
but I'm downloading our song
It'll probably make me cry
But it'll take me back to that night on the beach